Children

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- Mom, on what shelf holds?

- on a nail ...

- Really ?!And grandma said that snot ...

***

the bus:

- Mom, I want to write!

- Suffer, Cossack chieftain will.

long pause.

- Mom, I Ataman.

***

- Daughter, you open the refrigerator every five minutes.Something's changed in that time?

- Yes.

- And what happened?

- Candy becomes less ...

***

Going on the bus, the conductor asks to transfer money for travel to the back porch.In the middle stands a woman of large size and all attempts to transfer money through it, screaming, what would be transmitted through those who are sitting, and it has not been touched.On the front seat on the lap of mother, sits a boy 4 years old, very carefully watching the whole situation for five stops and, finally, the issue is quite loud:

- Mom and Aunt so angry because fat?The bus begins to quietly laugh, embarrassed mother, a woman blush ... After a few seconds:

- Mom, it is thick because it once again too lazy to move my ass?

Well, here whinnying even the bus driver.Woman red as a lobster, jumped at the first stop.

***

I read Kira (3 years 10 months) poem from the magazine:

"Red, red-haired, freckled,

killed grandfather shovel.

And if each of caulk,

Where all type of spades?"

where "good" Keira happily tells:

- It is necessary to take turns beating, then!

***

Sasha (5 years) to draw a picture and show older sister Tanya.She expressed delight:

- What a beautiful bunny!

Sasha, resentfully:

- It's not a hare, and fox.

- And where then chanterelles tail?- Asked Tanya.

- Where, where ... In war torn ...

***

Standing in sports before leaving, go mum, very nice, and the child, the size of about four years.

Mom (removes his gloves):

- Oh!What hands are cold!I told you to take some mittens!Here frostbitten hands while you learn!Hands take care of it!

Dite (sighs, looks at her mother condescendingly):

- Mom.I Seeb tsut Yaiza not otmolozil and you Luke ... Luke ...

***

From what he heard (overheard).

son (4,5 years):

- Irisha, yet!Alice is!Nastia while!

IRA:

- While Pasha, let me kiss you goodbye.

Son:

- I'm with the girls until they kiss!

Two minutes later a son:

- Irishev, and you marry me you will go?

IRA:

- Go !!!- He runs up and tries to kiss her on the cheek.

son, pushing the little girl hand:

- That's when we kiss, and now get dressed quickly and go home!

***

little boy saw a centaur in the picture, asked quite "logical" question:

- Why Uncle horse stuck in the pope?

***

Pope takes his son from the garden, sees dirty tights.Asks:

- Why tights dirty?

- Fell.

- How to fall?

- The girls hugged, and I fell.

- And why should they embrace you?

- They hugged me and each other.

- Why are you then fall?

- staring ...

***

child is five years.I ask the difference between Father Christmas from Santa Claus.

Responsible:

- Santa Claus lives with the Snow Maiden and Santa Claus - with the deer!

***

read with Nastya (6 years), the tale of the goose: goose swims across the pond and talking loudly to himself: "What I really amazing bird! And I go, I'm on the ground, and a swimon water and fly through the air: no other bird in the world, I am the king of all the birds! "Overheard goose crane and tells him: "Silly you are a bird, goose! Well, if you can swim like a pike, running around like a wolf, or fly like an eagle? It is better to know something one, so good than anything so bad".

ask:

- Who is right?

Nastya:

- Gus!

- But why?See, the goose flies Pike worse ...

- And why it is better?He will fly away from the wolf, run away from the pike, and from the eagle float away!What does he compete?

*** The story of a kindergarten teacher:

"I work with a group and there is in it a boy Acne, Acne and the lives in a studio apartment. One day he approaches me and says:

- Elizabeth Evseevna, so you know, Ilast night did not sleep, and my mom and dad thought I was asleep. And they are doing something under the covers. Elizabeth Evseevna, and what did they do? Do you know?

I just confused. The child stands and waits for a response, so I nagoraand outstanding:

- I think they're looking for something.

- Aah. Probably never found - so mom sighed.

Articles Source: babedra.ru det.org.ru