American man lives with his father, who is over 70, and post to Twitter his sayings.People like my father's wisdom ...
"That woman - sexy ... You're not her level? Son, let women decide why she will not sleep with you, do not invent for her"
"You have too much to worry about. InHere, eat bacon ... What? No, I have no idea whether you will be better for it. I'm just too much fried bacon. "
"Son, do not care all that knows your cell phone. You did not invent it, you just bought it. That any fool can."
"Yeah, I realized when I turn on the tap in the kitchen, the shower pours boiling water on you. No, I do not promise that I will not do that again, I say that he understood the principle."
I just want silence ... God, it does not mean that I do not love you.This means that now I love the silence anymore.
"We can talk later? News transmitted ... Listen, if you have tuberculosis, for half an hour, nothing will change, Lord God ..."
"Baby talk, when to speak, relax. Not that he knew the cure for cancer and refused to shareinformation. "
"Do you remember how you laughed at me when I'm bald? No, I'm not going to joke about it. I'll do it to your mirror."
"No, you can not borrow my shirt. How about to wash my things instead of standing there with a shocked view?"
"No, I'm not a pessimist. At some point the world shits on everyone.To pretend that he is not shit - to be an idiot, not an optimist. "
"You're dramatiziruesh. All that you have - is a TV and an air mattress. I would not call it" have something to lose "
" What pressure?Get married when you want.Your wedding - just another day in my life when I can not wear sweat pants. "
" Parent good as good as the silliest of his child.If the child received the Nobel Prize, and the other robbed a prostitute, you failed. "
" war hero?Her.I was a doctor in Vietnam.My job was to say, "This happens when you fuck prostitutes, man. Take this cream smear his friend."
"Science and Mother Nature are married, in which science is always surprising, coming home and finding Mother Nature with a neighbor."
"There is a word for such people ... No, I'm saying that there is a word, but I do not know. I told you who, poet, or what?"
"I do not understand this: I sweat, I smell OK. You sweat - you smell like a donkey shit. Relax, it takes on the treadmill next to you, she already knows."
"OK, let's vote. Who wants to fish for dinner? .. Ha, democracy is not so good when it fucks you, huh?"
"Do not start the story with the words" It's so funny. "All the same, what to say before sex," I have a huge dick. "Even if you're right, it sounds like an idiot."
"Mule somehow kicked Uncle Bob. Broke his ribs. Bob gave him in the face ... What do I mean? It's just ingrown nail, your mother. Good whining."
"No, we do not celebrate it. I do not know who this Valentine's Day, I do not care, but I doubt that he wanted people to fuck in a sign of respect for him."
"You look like Stephen Hawking ... Relax, I meant it nonparalysed version. Feel better? .. OK. Forget I said it."
Articles Source: RUNET
