With all the seeming variety, there are only two distinct strategies used by men against women.The nuances and emphases may vary, due to individual life experiences, but overall the track is always easy to be traced.
Please note that hereinafter, a "husbands" and "lovers" do not imply official or actual status of men in relation to a particular woman.We are talking only about the strategy pursued by a man in a relationship with all of its women.Also, it is important that the strategy is not the result of conscious choice, but you must be a man of psychological type.
So, all men, with rare exceptions, which will still be paid attention to, can be divided into two types - "husband" and "lovers."First, in dealing with women, emphasize the serious long-term relationship, the second - on a flirtation, passion and adventure.
If you have an idea of introverts and extroverts, we can say that the strategy of "husband" implement introverts, and the strategy of "lover" - extroverts.In some specific situations, men are extroverts as "husband" (it is not about status!) And introverts as a "lover", but this happens only in a relative sense.Similarly, as the two introverted, one can be more and the other less introverted.
And now, in fact, go to the description of types.
man-lover
The classic male lover - a Don Juan or anecdotal fellow - lieutenant Rzhev.Bright extrovert-womanizer, conqueror of female hearts, and ladies' man.Gambling hunter who carries the process.
with women it tends to take a proactive stance, easily takes the initiative and is able to say directly what he wants.He was insolent in a form that attracts women and allows them to shift responsibility for the affair at the man.
narcissist, he is looking for new opportunities to show off their acquaintances.He was more interested in the fact of a victory over a woman, and not a relationship with her.Whether it will - monogamy would have long ago abolished by law.
adventurer in good and bad sense.Always ready for adventure, reaching sometimes to pure madness.Aggressive, sometimes to violence against women, sexy and brutal.
It could easily turn the head of a woman, to interest and captivate her.For him, it is natural and easy.But with all its sex appeal he is not able to create a woman's sense of calm and certainty.The woman with him always feels in danger, because it clearly feels that this man will never cease to be a hunter.
A woman he needs the consent and confirmation of self-worth.Therefore, all the time he climbs the stairs "steepness" gaining more and more vibrant and attractive women.And if it is impossible to develop high quality, then comes to the fore the number - let the women and not the smartest, but a lot.Thus, the male lover strengthens their self-esteem shattered, replacing the normal balance of self-importance, the number of his sexual conquests ("Pride").
But women, men, lovers still enjoy, and even knowing their windy character, they continue to succumb to its charms, in the vague hope zahomutat them and tame.
Next to the "lover" the woman feels better their sex appeal and flatters your feminine vanity.The first time a man is actively seeking it, the second - when he throws it, and she feels free to blame every male in complete svolochizm incurable.
relationship with a male lover - it's always a mutual acting out of pride.Formally, there may be no sexual relations in the literal sense.But sex while still hovering somewhere nearby.
man-husband
typical "husband" - a home, a dutiful man.Quiet, quiet introvert who chose peace with one woman, instead of many adventures.The love triangle, it always turns out to be the victim of betrayal.
In relations with women, he sometimes ridiculously serious.In every woman he sees a potential wife, but because from the first minute surrounds her obsessive care and is constantly looking for its approval and confirmation of her feelings for him.
Because of its excessive seriousness, he did not know how to flirt, do not feel feminine mood and did not see the female coquetry.Therefore, in a relationship, he is in a passive position, waiting for the woman first steps or, at least, a clear indication of what to do next.
«Husband" is always trying to be a gentleman and says sublime attitude towards women as their primary advantage.He knows how to take care of women and gaining their patience and constancy.Instead of passion and intrigue, it offers women love to the grave, and the prospect of marriage.
But for all that, I want to get from a woman the same as the "lover" - spiritual self-satisfaction.But instead of victory over sexual woman, it is more important to win her love, for which he is ready to prove himself even defeated.That is, and here with a woman, becomes a means to appease some emotional pain and disorder.
against men-husband is gentle, affectionate and romantic.He is surrounded by women comprehensive care and is ready to fulfill every whim of her, if only to get confirmation of her love.He is ready to obey the desires of women, to the detriment of their own.It is predictable and manageable, and therefore creates a woman's sense of security and reliability.And when a woman wants to twist its nest, she is looking for exactly this type of relationship.
Instead, the "husband" wants to get the love and complete acceptance of women.In fact, he looks for in a woman affectionate mother who will have him the same feeling, which he so loved as a child.His men's freedom it is easy to change for a chance to shift the burden of responsibility on the shoulders of a woman and get rid of feelings of inferiority.
Well, at its best, it is easy to create a woman's sense of stability and certainty, it opens the way for her to motherhood.A loving, caring, homely man - what else a woman needs when it comes to starting a family?
Man - itself
As mentioned in the beginning, the man does not choose whom to be - a husband or lover.Usually, by the time of puberty, when the boy begins to take the first steps in dealing with the girls, the choice of the basic strategy is already predetermined.Introverts are starting to play Knights defenders, extroverted - in brash vulgar.
Here, as in other similar cases, the type of behavior expressed in the brighter, the less balanced psyche.We can say that Don Juanism and chivalry - the two extremes of the same personal neurosis that manifests itself in relationships with women.
imbalance self extraversion + = "lover".
imbalance self introversion + = "husband."
The greater the imbalance, the more a man gets stuck in one or another strategy, and the more rough and one-sided behavior.Conversely, the more balanced psyche, the free men in the choice of behaviors.
, however, will never be a situation to become a man for a woman, at the same time, and her husband and her lover.After all, Don Juanism bright and selfless knights - are symptoms of insecurity.As long as a man is not sure of himself, he is firmly tied to its core strategy, and when self-esteem is balanced, he was simply no need to play the hero-lover or a knight on a white horse.
resolve internal problems, the man is beyond the scope of the scheme and becomes "neither one nor the other" - just a man.And we can say that this is the point at which for him, finally made possible a normal healthy relationship with a woman, not based on comfort and self-affirmation, but on mutual respect and full acceptance.
For dessert - what woman wants
All men are heard and participated in the gossip of the contradictory female character.The proposed typology remarkably illustrates this thesis.The fact is that every woman of every man waiting for her that he would be both a "husband" and "lover."The exceptions here too, but they are as rare and are in the same area as that of a man with a balanced self-esteem.
Women, because of their self-esteem problem, are forced to seek confirmation of its own values through a relationship with a man.In this sense, it is much more suitable male lovers.But the other side of the female soul, requires stability, reliability and predictability as the basis for marriage and procreation.Here the pole is reversed - for this type of relationship needs a man-husband.
Therefore, in practice it is very easy to observe the situation when a woman starts a relationship with "lover", flatters his vanity, blooming in their sex appeal and then, when the first passion fades, starts trying to remake a man - from "lover" to turn it into"husband."And usually, it ends heavy mutual disappointment."Lover" wants to maintain freedom and remain a "lover" and a woman can not live with a sense of uncertainty, because it again has her self-esteem.Relationships crumble and turn to mush from mutual accusations and insults.
or possible reverse option when a woman finds a caring "husband", but eventually tired of his care and begins to search for a lover, because her slave "husband", by his own device is not able to satisfy the women's pride.Woman tries to demand that the "husband" of strength and independence, but, generally, it may lead to nothing, and the woman in the literal sense is on the side or throws one man hoping to meet another who is still able to be for her and theand others.
What is the way out of this?
There are about a half.The first - for both partners to fix their self-esteem and stop to look at the relationship of self-affirmation and encouragement.When a man is not tied to a specific role, and the woman does not need to solve their problems at the expense of men, relationships become completely different - simple, clear and honest, without any mutual dependence.It makes it difficult, but possible, and it's worth it.
Articles Source: satway.ru
