Living with an alcoholic?Since the invention of alcohol millions of women asked themselves this question, but often he remained unanswered.And how can you call life stay in the company of an inadequate man who has only one requirement - intoxication?In psychology there is a concept of "codependent" - a person living with an alcoholic, who considers his relatives, referring to him with love and trying to understand.Codependent wife can always explain myself another spree husband tired, hard day at work or in trouble, on the contrary, holiday, joy ...
themselves without knowing it, these people do not work against the disease, and at her.Their sincere desire to relieve the suffering of the close and help him get back on the right path only makes the problem worse.What is the dependent person to give up his addiction, to endure discomfort, to change habits if always someone nearby who forgive understand and solve all the problems?
To answer the question of how to live with an alcoholic, you must understand if you want to do to live with him.If a family has children who suffer from the behavior of the father, perhaps the best solution would be parting with such a man.In any case, every situation is unique, and only its members to make a decision - to be together or apart.If used together, then there are certain steps that can help change the situation.
1 step : refuse codependency.You need to understand what your concern and forgiveness helps no one.Of course, sometimes nice to stay a victim, talking about "his cross" that you are in life, but if this was really your role, the question of how to live with her husband an alcoholic, there would be - would be living what life is like.
Step 2 : Find sources of support outside the family.You need to have a point of support (friends, relatives), whose support will go through the difficulties of the struggle against alcoholism partner.The most valuable will help people who have an own successful experience in overcoming this problem.If possible, walk on the group sessions for co-dependents.
3 step : Put partner conditions.If you really decided to change my life, waiting for nothing, you must start this minute.Put her husband on notice that if he needs a family, he must immediately begin treatment, because living with an alcoholic, you no longer intend to.If people do not seek help or do not refuse from drinking yourself, should fulfill his threat - just leave.
4 step : Consider options.Together with her husband, prepare some options - where to go or who to turn to for help.
5 step : relieve the excess load of responsibility.You can not live another person's life.Only he decides what to choose: family or alcohol.And this selection no influence not.If a man chose the latter - your not at fault.
6 step : understand yourself.If you are in such a relationship, it means that for some reason you needed them.Consciously or unconsciously, you are extracting from them some benefit for themselves.Perhaps marriage is weak, dependent person, makes you feel stronger, more successful, more noble.If this is true, think about any other way you can achieve the same feelings and raise their self-esteem.You may want to change jobs or learn something new?
How to deal with an alcoholic?First, understand that the fight should not happen to a person, and disease.And the main fighter in it have to be that self-dependent.Stand on the side of his beloved, who decided to change their lives, maintain it is a solution, do not let shy away and give up the slack, and then the question of how to live with an alcoholic, never arise in your family.
