Few human experiences can be compared in its intensity and depth of this feeling.Joy, sadness, fear, anger, surprise, delight to come and go.But "her majesty" envy can live in my heart for years.However, it can have a powerful destructive force that can adversely affect not only the object of envy, but on its "owner".In some cases, jealousy begins to manage a person determines his actions and relationships with others.
Whence comes this feeling and that like?
Can I get rid of envy?And what if you are jealous?
Imagine a reunion 10 years after graduation.At first, everything is great: the emotions overflowed, spilling jokes, words of gratitude to teachers, school recall pranks ... And then begin questioning and stories about life, success and achievements.And then there is the villain-envy.Because quiet and discreet Ira is now the wife of a successful businessman, a brisk Alina went abroad, "nerd" Igor defended his thesis, while Losers truant and Sasha own company ... But you never know why taken us into the soul of this spiny worm!The problem is that, having settled there, it deprives us of peace and good mood.
«What have I done?", "Why is he (she) is, and I do not?" "Well, you must, no outstanding man, and reached such a ..." - about such thoughts arise from envy.The basis of this is a sense of social comparison.Man is aware of the superiority of the other in anything, and its lower position because of it - and begins to envy.However, he sees someone else's success as his own defeat.
There is one subtlety: generates envy comparison between close the social status of people.In other words, saying, "potter potter is jealous, jealous of the king of kings."It is unlikely that a poor student envy Professor having high status, academic degree, a car, an apartment, a young wife ... But classmate, who manages, in addition to their studies, work and still be in good standing with the teachers - easily.At the same time the most oppressed envious, mostly small differences.And the starting point in relation to which a person measures and evaluates its successes and failures, acts immediate surroundings.
After realizing come emotional distress.There is a feeling of disappointment, anger, malice towards the man with whom to compare myself envious.And if you do not take any constructive steps, a flurry of emotions can spread to almost all of humanity.Observations show that the envious are irritated and angry for different, often insignificant occasions.Then there are a variety of actions aimed at the destruction, removal of envy, such as property damage, libel, moral pressure, etc.
fair to say that social comparison does not always lead to the emergence of jealousy.This played a significant role personality, family upbringing, outlook and attitude to life.Most people envy ambitious, vain, selfish, and at the same time - lazy.It is much easier to be angry with the other for what he has achieved something, than to rise from your favorite couch and start to work.By the way, except for laziness, significantly inhibits movement of the achievements and success of vanity ("What? I'm going to work in this company? No way!" "Hmm, why should I run after them? They need employee - let them find me..." etc.).
Form envy is somewhat ...
Firstly, by its duration is feeling can be situational (envy-emotion), stable (envy-feeling), inclusive (envy, lust).Certainly, jealousy, the emotion experienced at least once in each of our lives.But the feeling of envy, jealousy, and especially the passion - these are experiences that can destroy relationships, plunging into depression, leading to deep intrapersonal issues.
addition, distinguish two forms of envy and malicious or hostile or competitive Nezlobnaya (People's option - the "black" and "white" envy).The second type of this feeling is the desire to be the same, and that is the object of comparison.In this case, people want to reach the same level as the opponent.Of course, in this case envy is motive.It is understandable and morally accept.But the first type - is the desire to ensure that the other had what has ("Let it go down to my level, then we will be like").This example clearly describes the folk proverb.Once a poor man comes to the good fairy, and said, "filled with whatever you want!".What a poor man she replied: "I want to be at the neighbor's cow died."
Where does this anger, which has sometimes destructive power?
dictated by her own impotence, inability, for whatever reason, to achieve the same results.Since overcoming inequality can not accomplish envy, it seeks to humiliate the opponent, to reduce it to its own level.Another reason for the hostile envy is that people with a certain superiority, perceived jealous as the cause of its failure, impotence, humiliation position and thereby cause self-hatred ("This is because it is impossible to me", "It overshadows meand, therefore, the chief did not notice me, "etc.).
All of us living, feeling, thinking people.Of course, we compare ourselves with others - without this it is impossible to move up, improve and achieve something in life.How to avoid the appearance of the soul of the very spiny worm?
fact that spiteful envy breeds frustration, anger, annoyance.These negative emotions are not allowed to focus and lead to the fact that all the attention is focused on the subject of envious jealousy to his take or destroy.It is also the soul and strength.As a result, a person feels exhausted, miserable, it takes a passive stance.It can not create, improve.Therefore, you need to neutralize envy, showing respect for others, tolerance of differences, respecting ethical values.Of course, this will require self-control and self-education.But in return we get a peace of mind, harmony and most importantly, the potential to save up their own growth and success!
Envy rarely or not appear at all at the person active, independent, self-sufficient, able to self-organize and hobbies own, not other people's affairs.But it is worth remembering that all people are different.And envy is unfortunately missing.Therefore, in some cases it is not necessary to publicize information that could cause envy in others: the level of income, purchase expensive, prestigious holidays, etc.
Live without envy!
Articles Source: resnichka.ru
