podborochka humor with the largest market in Ukraine, one of the "business card" of South Palmyra.
Fish row.The saleswoman sells eels.Near the counter stands a woman with a gloomy look.Saleswoman:
- Woman, why are you so sad?What troubles in the family?That her husband - a bastard?I, too - you bastard!So I tell you this is one recipe.I always use them, and helps me a lot.Listen: I buy eel, come home ... What is the name of her husband?Vasya?Good!Let - Bob!Vasya called eel, put it on a hot frying pan, and see how he is a bastard, meanders!It really helps.
***
- Do you have documents on this Riboud?
- A sho you have, a death certificate?
***
Fish row.Seller:
- Woman, what do you think!Take it!Live carp!Five minutes ago, just swim!
- Why it does not move, and the gills had some pale?
- Madam, it was he froze and turned pale with emotion at the sight of your dazzling beauty.
***
- How much does a bunch of parsley?
- Fifty cents.
- A bunch of celery?
- Fifty cents.
- And what a bunch of parsley and a bunch of celery?
- UAH twenty.
- Allow - outraged woman - as it turns out?Bunch of parsley - fifty, a bunch of celery - fifty, and together the two beams - the hryvnia twenty!From twenty cents ?!
- What do you think that fleeting intimacy has nothing at all costs?
***
- How much is your chicken?
- It's not a chicken.This cock.
- That's what I see he is tired.
***
- Comrade seller, I bought your eggs.You told me that they were home, and they are not pets!
- And what are they in your opinion?
- What you want, but do not home!
- What you Ukraine - is no longer sweet home?
***
lady, pointing to some exotic fruit, ask the seller:
- Tell me, how much is it?
- five hryvnia.
- Tell me, how is it called?
- I do not know.
- Well, you should know!You seller!
- I do not know.
- Well, call it something!
- Like - "somehow"?
- Well, whatever you want!
- Well, for example?
- Well, at least the carrot!
- Well, a carrot!
lady looks at an exotic fruit:
- No, at this price, I will not take a carrot.
***
Milk body.
- This cream or cream?
- What do you want?
- Cream.
- Well, then the cream.
***
Woman chooses sausage.Saleswoman advises:
- Ma'am, you smell it!This is not a sausage!That's spirits!
***
Near pickles woman sells a number of children's tights.Suitable shopper.
- I reds are on the boy.
- How old is the boy?
- Eight.
- Here are eight.
- but it's more me.It looks ten.
- These are ten.
- But why do it at ten, if he was eight.
- Then take this.These eight.
- But why him these eight, if he looks at ten.
saleswoman stares at women customers:
- Madame, there you can see, the old man sells whistles.So go ahead and buy.This will be your boy, and for eight years and ten years, and perhaps for life, if your son is the same crazy, as his mother Accents!
That's not all.Side suit each shopper, older:
- And fifty-six you have?
- You mean the fifty-sixth the size?
- No, fifty-six years.Husband.
- You know that woman.I think you should hurry, because the old man with the whistle had already gone, and you can not get it already!
***
- man, take the fresh fish!
- And it really fresh?
- What's the matter?Fresh from the sea.
- And why she closed her eyes?Sleeps? .. And why is it stinks?
- Listen, man, when you sleep, you can answer for yourself?
***
hefty man in a straw hat pulling two wallets bright red tomatoes.
- Uncle, uncle!Where did you take Garnier tomatoes?
- Yes, there is, in the next row.
- And sho, a lot of people?
- Yes, there was nobody.Even the seller.
***
Sausage number.Saleswoman:
- Man, every day that you walk around the number, and try not to buy anything?What do you want - nothing not to like?
- like.
- So you probably have no money.
- There.
- So what's the deal?Buy!
- Why?
- Like - "why"?Well, to eat!
- What did I do ?!
***
saleswoman sells eggs, the type of chicken clearly:
- Ostrich eggs!Buy ostrich eggs!Suitable shopper takes one egg in his hand and a long time considering it:
- What does an ostrich egg?
- Or!
- Why so small?
- This breed was.
- What?
- Ostrich pygmy!
***
Buyer:
- Why are you with that woman chickens are the same, and your so expensive?
- It's not my expensive, it is cheaper at it!That's because her old chickens themselves have died.
- And that - is that true?
- Well, not that the truth.But I tell you as a native, I would say: this is my friend, we had a fight, and I'm telling you and keep the price that she did not buy anything.
- So you have the same with such a price no one would buy!
- So what ?!But she and no one will buy!
***
woman buys a pig.Seller:
- Woman, you smell it!He smells like a living!
***
- Man, come here!Try to have my milk.
- If it really yours, why do I try?What am I, the chest?
- Sho you cling to the words?Well, not mine, my cows.But the milk - something special.You try ...
- So ... I've tried.
- What?
- Now I want to ask, you do not want to buy his cow umbrella?
- What if?Why the umbrella?
- because she milk a lot of water.
***
woman buys potatoes.The saleswoman weighing.Woman:
- And on the "campaign"?
saleswoman puts one on top of the potato.
- A little more on the "campaign"?
saleswoman puts another potato.
- Well, even though one in the "campaign"!
Saleswoman:
- Look, madam, are you in a hike or go grab all his relatives?
***
suited to the counter mulatto.Saleswoman:
- I already know what you want!Do you want a kilo of bananas!
- Why kilo of bananas?
- you are - black, then you need a kilo of bananas!
- I'm not a Negro.I - mulatto.
- Well, then take a pound.
***
woman buys a pig.About an hour of its twists, twirls, sniffing, pushing the legs presses the tummy looks under the tail, scratching his back.Sold long look at what is happening, and then just calmly said:
- Madam, if you want to resuscitate him, then try to have mouth to mouth, and that he could not come to life.
***
- Say this Watermelon Kherson?
- Kherson.
- Because I was there recently, so everything is still unripe watermelons!
- So what?
- Like - "so what?"This is your "Kherson" watermelon smells good Turkish bazaar!
- Oh, calm down, for God's sake!Well, how many from that of Turkey before Kherson!
Photo source: prikolisti.mirtesen.ru
Articles Source: prikolisti.mirtesen.ru
