One Bulgarian fairy tale tells of an old man who planned to marry his son - but certainly on the neat and hard-working girl.Once loaded the wagon fruits of his garden, he went to the neighboring village and began to shout all surprisingly: "I am fresh fruit on the trash!" Many were quick to take advantage of this fad, and the old man suffered an exchange of different bags of litter.Only one girl brought a small nodule, complained that the more junk in the house was not.To her old man and send matchmakers, and they say, I was not mistaken: it was a wonderful hostess, and a young family has healed in joy and abundance.
Today, going into a house, just remember the old tale.At the sight of scattered things, unwashed dishes, multi-day dust layer is difficult to suppress a grin: you can see, this family was created for other principles of courtship.And somewhere is order, bordering sterility, and even afraid to touch something or just move.It's hard to resist the compliment the hostess and happy for the well-being in the house.Although, oddly enough, there is the well-being is not necessarily immediately.It happens that the house tidy atmosphere of tension and discontent.And sometimes vice versa: in the cluttered apartment people live in perfect harmony, pleased with themselves and each other.
Why is this happening?
American philosopher William James believed that the structure of the human person, in addition to the abilities and interests, beliefs and predilections should be included, and everything that a person believes his: and favorite books at home shelf and casual clothes, copying their folds formour body and the dear little things, and more.It is - sort of our physical self, in which no less clearly than in the words and actions reflect our inner world.The decoration of the house - an essential element of the physical self, and, looking around carefully home, much can be said about its inhabitants.Of course, the first thing that catches your eye - this is the order or disorder.
What this may mean in terms of psychology?
The answer, it would seem obvious.Confusion - a sure sign of indiscipline and carelessness, and therefore, perhaps, general looseness and optional.Conversely, the ideal order - evidence of spiritual harmony and solid principles.However, this explanation is too simple to be absolutely true.For life at every turn suggests other, more ambiguous conclusions.
Almost all parents of teenagers complain about the inaccuracy of their children, that it is impossible to force them to comply with the order in his room.The fact that the interests of the growing person are very broad, mainly directed to the outside world and a little fine material tied to the details of everyday life.Just enjoy all the inconvenience that brings disorder, adolescent gradually becomes orderly.When the desired phone number written on scraps of random, not knowing where to put his necessary thing;when the space reserved for classes or meetings with friends, is littered ugly - inevitably begin to take care of the order.Of course, even the youngest children are taught to clean up after a toy and put things in place.But this orderly person gets much later - only becoming a mature person.Prior to that, he was just about the need to know.After all, the growth of alien stability.
Does this mean that the disorder in the house testifies to its inhabitants and did not manage to really grow up?
Maybe so, and a person lives "rudderless", in all things, like a small child.But the problem may lie deeper.In the end, we all know it is not good to throw things anywhere.If the person is chronically unable to restore order in the house, it may be indicative of a serious internal conflict.Scattered clothes, accumulated debris, etc.like a repeat of the owner of the house, I have no power over them, no, not on the environment, is not able to put things into place.
sink full of dirty dishes;overflowing trash;weeks of dirty laundry accumulative added: I do not know how to allocate their strength, set goals and systematically solve them.It is obvious that if a person does not know how to organize the small details of his life, the problem is more serious, and it is hardly on the shoulder.
What to do?
Do not you think that your work is not to argue, things do not go as we would like, and in general - all serious life situations out of control?Certainly we would like to overcome this unpleasant sensation.Start small.Look around your home - a direct extension of your I - and note where you want to put things in order.Expanding on the shelves scattered things you actually do a lot more: learn and organize all their problems, "lay on the shelves."Clarified his "physical self" and then more tangible results will not keep you waiting.
There is, however, possible, and the other extreme!
Psychologists have noticed that over-commitment to cleanliness and order is often a symptom of internal weakness and self-doubt.Meticulously arranging the available physical world of his house, as if seeking to protect people from the chaos of the big outside world, which is too difficult and even scary.But in doing so it creates a vicious circle of stress: any thing someone from home is not delivered to his seat, irritates and brings disappointment.Work on the house begins to take too much time and energy, leaving no room for more important things.The result is inevitably a sense of loneliness in his scraped shell.
This trap can adjust our standard scenario, assimilated even in the parental home when the order at any cost becomes an important life goal.You can only feel sorry for the person, whose main task - white towels and shiny parquet.The order in the house - it is not a goal but a necessary condition, a means for solving the really serious problems of life.Understanding this simple truth, we find the middle ground, which distinguishes the true harmony - material and spiritual.
Articles Source: adalin.mospsy.ru
