Education should be reasonable - it is clear as day.And yet, parents are often rushing from one extreme to the other, make mistakes that cause irreparable harm to the psychological and sometimes physical health of their child.
Error number one - physical violence: «I crap out of you, then shook»
use of physical force - is not only scrapes and bruises, but also a serious psychological trauma.Each slap a child makes it clear - you do not like, you do not need it, your existence - a mistake.And err are those who believe the assault only true way to grow a complete individual.Cruelty, breeds violence.Think about it before you once again allow yourself to place his hand over the back of the head of the baby.
error №2 - the emotional estrangement: «Leave me alone, do not bother me»
Unfortunately, emotional rejection - it is one of the most characteristic features of the parent-child relationship in the modern family.Often a child to a request to play with him heard: "Get to your room, I have no time for you."Accustomed to such treatment, he ceases to feel the need to communicate with their parents, become withdrawn, pensive, or, on the contrary, aggressive.Rejected children seeking adoption by side and find it in antisocial informal small groups.
Error number 3 - inconsistent leadership: «This Pope has allowed you, and I - I forbid»
Typically, this error is a result of the application of the chaotic style of education, an idea which, in effect, like a tug of blankets.And it happens in the absence of a unified concept of parental education.They are contradictory in their actions and deeds, the child is difficult to please them.He had no choice but to learn to adapt to the requirements of each of the parents.About these people say, "and ours, and yours."
Error number 4 - indifference: «Do what you want, I do not care»
absence of any control on the part of adults contributes to the development of pedagogical neglect and child involvement in antisocial group.As a consequence - grow "children of wolves", they are not who do not believe and do not trust, try to live apart.
Error number 5 - the hard dictates: «She said it is necessary, then it is necessary»
Overly strict upbringing by means of permanent failures and restrictions leads to the development of emotional tension: the child does not understand why it constantly pulls that he does not.The result - a person is not capable of objective assessment of the situation.As a rule, the life of such people non-contact, play the role of slaves, avoid responsible positions, jobs.When seemingly harmless may be hiding inside a hurricane of passions.
Error №6 - overprotection: «Come on, I'll feed you with a spoon, nose wipe, tie cords ...»
And further more, "Lessons of you do, you will choose a bride, I will build on the work," and Godknows what else.Remember, in a cartoon about Vovka in Far Far Away kingdom, when he summoned two of the casket with the same person, "What do you and for me there's going?- Aha! "As a result of enhanced care, excessive pandering to the whims of children's personality is formed, is not able to make independent decisions, experiencing difficulties in the process of socialization.In most cases, the parents dominate their children of lifelong learning that promotes infantilism.
Love - not pampering
The first and main task of parents is to create a child's confidence that he is loved and cared for.Of course, parents always love their children, and few people thought about how they do it.But in vain - because the way in which parents show their love, has a huge impact on the child.
author of the bestseller "How to really love children," Ross Campbell offers the following classification of methods of expression of parental love:
Eye contact - outdoor, natural, friendly gaze into the eyes of a child.In the early stages of eye contact is the primary means of transmitting the love of parents to children.The more often parents with love looking at the child, the more it is imbued with this love.
Physical contact - gentle touch, hugs, stroking the child's head.The main thing is that all these delicate touch was natural and sincere and not demonstrative or excessive.
close attention - full focus on the child, allowing him to feel their importance and significance, it is extremely important for the development of his positive self-esteem.
Discipline - fostering a child to become himself through personal example, not punishment.Parents are very important to understand that discipline must not be a means to achieve comfort for the parents, as a way of learning self-discipline.
Each component is very important and scientists recommend using them together in a process of growth and maturation of children.Mistaken are those who think that in any case can not show children love to them, believing that it leads to a spoiled, selfish, narcissistic.On the contrary - these adverse personality traits just there with a deficit of love, or, more precisely, by substituting her expensive gifts, indulging the whims, permissiveness.
Love forms the basis of self-esteem of children without parental care, interest and approval can not grow a self-sufficient person.
Articles Source: nanya.ru
