Every parent bringing up her child, the soul in it worships.Child reciprocate, but up to a certain time.At some point the child is moving away from its ancestor.The conflict between fathers and sons - is an eternal theme.It is impossible to avoid.But the problem is, like any other, is completely solved.It is enough to find the necessary information, and the conflict between fathers and children will no longer seem unsolvable.
What is the conflict
At some point a conflict is a major problem within the family.The parents clutching his head, not knowing what to do with rebellious child.All the words and actions that were previously productive at this stage are completely useless.The child is ready to explode at the slightest pretext, he responds negatively to all suggestions from their ancestors.As a result, parents and children are quarreling.This can lead to very unfortunate consequences (hunger strike, leaving home, suicide).Even a temporary exclusion might radically change the relationship between relatives.If the "cold notes" in the behavior of children of the already visible, it's time to take some measures.
cause of misunderstanding between parents and children
misunderstanding can occur due to a number of reasons.And more often than it is to blame the parent.After all, he is much older and therefore wiser and more experienced.Many conflicts can be easily avoided.But adults resisted, trying to keep the usual position, so raise the voice of a child, and even raise a hand against him.Naturally, the child goes to the counter and shows his character is not at its best.
Causes of conflict
conflict between fathers and children often occur for the following reasons:
- problems at school.Poor academic performance of the child, the complaint of teachers to bad behavior, the absolute unwillingness to do homework.
- order in the house.His failure to become a cause for quarrels between the parents of a child of almost any age.
- lie.Moms and dads are extremely dissatisfied with children lies.Every child at least once lied to her parents.Once the truth "comes up out," there is another scandal.
- noise.Children by nature are mobile, so they create a lot of noise (the sound of the TV, the loud music, shouting and audioigrushki).
- disrespect to the older generation.This behavior outraged parents, so they scolded child.
- requirement for gifts.This is a problem faced by every parent.Son, knows only the word "want", so not acquiring the thing becomes cause for resentment on the part of the child.
- circle.Friends teenager is often viewed with suspicion, and the father and mother.This discontent, they are trying to convey to the child who is to hear anything about it does not want.
- appearance.Unkempt appearance, modern style of clothes and the taste of a child are often the cause of the conflict.
- pets.The quarrel arises either because of inadequate child care for your pet, or because of his extreme desire to acquire them.
conflict through the eyes of a child
conflict of parents and children most often occurs when the latter begins during adolescence.This is an incredibly difficult time for mom and dad, and for the child.Son, your character starts to correct, in terms of friends, high school students, not parents.He knows this world on the other hand, is actively developing physically and takes an interest in the opposite sex.But despite the "adult" appearance, psycho-emotional state is very unstable teenager.Carelessly dropped word can develop a number of complexes.
child becomes nervous and closed.He is trying to avoid the company of their parents, but instead more time to your friends, or prefers to stay alone, locked in her room.Any criticism is rejected immediately.Teen gets rough, it begins to raise his voice to his father and mother.He has seen frequent changes of mood.If the conflict has reached a critical point, there may be attempts to child care home or deliberate self-inflicted physical injury.
conflict through the eyes of the parents
line behavior of parents is also not distinguished by its originality.The reaction can be divided into the maternal and paternal.
Moms react more gently, but more often they are the cause of the quarrel.In an effort to become your child's best friend, parent surrounds the child too much attention.Opinion imposed on any issue, from the appearance and finishing preferences in music and movies.It's annoying child and leads to conflict.
father's reaction is somewhat different.Dad - earner in the family.So he tries to instill in children concepts such as hard work, the value of things and the good of the family.The teenager because of his age do not understand this and reacts negatively to his father's upbringing.
What if the conflict "parent-child" yet arisen?
necessary to take urgent measures.For this there are several options:
- quiet conversation in a narrow circle.At the family council should listen to each party to the conflict.In no case can not raise his voice, and to interrupt the interlocutor.It is also desirable to ask questions during your opponent's statements.Such dialogue is almost always positive.
- list of rules.All family members distribute among themselves the duties and rules of conduct in the house.All items are discussed together rather than appointed by the head of the family (or a rebellious teenager).
- Recognize wrong.The parent does not like to do it, but this step helps teens to meet.
Psychologist
Fathers and Sons - generational conflict, familiar to everyone.But you can avoid it and need it.It's enough to follow the instructions below:
- child should be taken for what it is, it is not necessary to impose their tastes and preferences;
- strictly forbidden to raise the voice of a child;
- reproach the child of his achievements is not permissible;
- punish the teenager should be neat, without taking drastic measures;
- interested in the life of the child should be carefully, as if by accident;
- do not forget the sentiment (hugs and kisses), but their number must be controlled;
- need to constantly praise the child and focus on his positive traits;
- teenager should not be forced to do something, he should ask.
And most importantly - do not forget that each person is different and has its own path and its own destiny.
eternal conflict between fathers and sons in literature
As mentioned above, this problem is not new.The conflict of parents and children lit many classics of Russian literature.The most striking example is the novel Turgenev "Fathers and Sons", the generation gap which describes an extremely bright.DI Fonvizin wrote a wonderful comedy "The Minor" Pushkin - the tragedy "Boris Godunov", Griboyedov - "Woe from Wit".This problem is not interested in a generation.Literary works on this subject are only confirmation of eternity existing conflict and its inevitability.
problem generations unpleasant for both sides.It is not necessary to close the shell and hope for the time that resolves the conflict between fathers and sons.It is necessary to make concessions to be softer and more attentive.And then the children and parents are incredibly warm and trusting relationship.
