eternal problem of fathers and children has always existed.It lies in the fact that at a certain stage of interaction "adult-child" a conflict that requires urgent consideration and mutually beneficial solutions.The problem of generations is itself a very sharp conflict.Parties are difficult to reach an agreement just because each has its own ideas about how life should be organized.
Often parents just sincerely worry for their children, and therefore seek to control in all their actions.The children do not understand, they feel that their freedom is restricted, and deliberately.But the parents never goes negative with respect to the child, so to speak, from harm, while the offspring are sometimes willing to suffer for the principle.This is the main problem of fathers and children.Arguments can be very different from the desire to defend their point of view to the zealous protection of personality.
general laws of occurrence of incomprehension between the generations
most open and prolonged conflicts mainly generate fathers and children.The problem of generations often does not come to a common agreement, to understand and hear each other in a controversial, desperate struggle of ideals, meanings, representations.On the part of someone may seem that children grow ungrateful, but they are simply defending their own identity, the desire of all to be autonomous and self-sufficient.Another question is whether they are ready for this independence, which is so enthusiastically shouting?Most likely no.Teenagers and young men still sufficiently immature to begin an independent life: elementary will not be able to provide themselves with housing, adequate nutrition.
«I'm an adult!»
a phrase often you can hear from the child of thirteen or sixteen.He wants to do as it sees fit, to implement their boldest ideas and goals.However, remember that the adolescent is more important to uphold the principle of reality than to do something.And he argues with parents often because they do not yet know how to negotiate otherwise.He needs to surrounding perceived it as an adult and held a man.At the same time, in fact, he is still a child, and not ready for a full independent life.
problem of generations is often exacerbated by the fact that the child does not understand what it means to be an adult.It seems that the most important thing - to be able to prove his innocence in a dispute, an idea, but in fact the real maturity comes when a young person is ready to provide himself fully to live independently.Not everyone is ready for this step, as the separation from their parents at 18, 20, 25 years and older.
«You dress provocatively!»
This replica can hear in his address grown children.Parents often believe that their offspring grow up too fast, wear clothes that their spoils, too attracts the attention of others.The children also have a completely different vision of the situation.They think that it is the parents watch over them too, do not give yourself a step to step.
What can you advise parents?It is clear that you absolutely do not like the dress your child: some weird styles, dark or, conversely, very bright colors.But the best thing to do - is to take your child's choice.Respect the person in it - and then one day he will listen to your opinion.Children should be patient and do not stick out too parade their "independence", remembering that they are not independent steel.
Examples problem of fathers and children, a daughter of fifteen going on a date, is painted before a mirror.Mother makes her remark: short skirt, causing makeup.As a result, the daughter offended and defiantly sent.The problem is not solved.Daughter still a minor and can not contain itself.
Son sixteen likes to listen to rock music.All my pocket money, which he isolated parents, he spends on buying music CDs.Father does not like fascination with his son, he would like to see in the future a successful athlete.At every opportunity, the father tells his son that his hobby does not cost anything and can not be considered worthy of a real man.Son of offense, while not changing its position.Conflict sluggish, but long.
difference interests
important to realize that parents and children can not have the same outlook on life, with only a few exceptions, there is almost a complete idyll.This is absolutely normal, and does not need to strive to ensure that everyone liked everything.In addition, we should not forget that important for parents to peace and quiet at the time, as children need to communicate with their peers, festivities, so - dynamic noise.
conflicts can cause own fathers and children.The problem of the relationship quickly formed where there are tangible differences pronounced contradictions.
separate housing problem
Perhaps the most sensitive issue, which can only occur in the relations "parent-child".Of course, this applies to adult children who have eighteen to twenty years old, and young adults.As they grow, want independence, there is a desire to see the results of their labors.In this case, it is not far-fetched appears the problem of fathers and children.Arguments over serious: the child must learn to be completely independent.But not every family has the opportunity to advance to provide the child with everything you need to buy him an apartment to the moment when he would be ready to provide for themselves independently.Those who have no money to buy an apartment, must somehow get out of the situation: to take independent housing or to continue to live with their parents.In that case, when the young man or woman, having reached the age of reason, remain under the roof of his home, they have to contribute to the family budget.After all, parents do not have to feed and contain overage children, it would be very wrong.
beliefs and values
problem of fathers and children (argued that the older and younger generations should listen Druk other, not always correctly perceived) often creates resentment and mutual misunderstandings.Parents think that if an adult child is living with them, you have to live according to their orders, around to do their bidding.Young man and happy to be separate, but is, for example, do not allow to finance.
outlook on life, beliefs of parents and children, even at a low conflict, will be somewhat different.After all, every person has their own goals and aspirations.Achievements children is not immediately visible, sometimes requires considerable effort.
problem of borders and freedom
one who lived for many years side by side with their parents, and then finally got a chance to buy their own homes, no doubt, appreciate the benefits of a separate residence.Parents may be the gold, but their task of raising children, they can be considered completed when the child has reached a good level of independence, he has the ability to rent an apartment, to eat separately, ensure that life itself, to address emerging issues.In short, you need to take responsibility, and only then proceed to adulthood.By itself, the independence requires large investments, the benefits are not immediately noticeable.
Living with parents under the same roof, we unwittingly violate their personal space, and they accidentally interfere in ours.It is necessary to consider and understand, if you are not going to be separated.Of course, not everyone has the opportunity, but then you have to accept the rules prevailing in your family.Stick to their line, arguing, conflict with parents while in their care, unworthy, ugly and wrong.
Examples of conflict in literature
One of the most significant is the problem of fathers and children.The works of classical Russian literature, we show examples of such manifestations of conflict.Immediately recall the famous characters: Yevgeny Bazarov and Pavel Petrovich Kirsanov, "fighting" in a verbal duel for the idea.Apart from these, there are the heroes of the drama "Thunderstorm" Katerina, who was unable to live with a grumpy-law, and her husband Tikhon, all life adapts to the desires of his mother.
Modern problems of fathers and children
To date, there are generational conflicts as well as many years ago.The reasons for the differences are the difference of interests, views on life, beliefs, housing problem.The latter is a sore for many people because they do not have their own homes for some young people the prospect of a lifetime turns to hold in failure.
No one is eager to prove his innocence opponent, fathers and children.The problem of relations often lies in the unwillingness to understand the needs of each other.
steps to preserve warm, trusting relationship
Those who wish for many years to please their loved ones, to better understand the motives of their actions and just sentiments, our useful tips.Strong thread connected to each other fathers and sons.The problem of generations often is that people can not understand each other correctly.They seem to speak different languages.Children should be treated with respect for parents, respect their experience and wisdom, do not be ashamed to adopt some useful skills.Parents also benefit trust sincere dialogue with grown children: their knowledge can not just come in handy.It is important to learn to respect the other person's position, take it for what it really is, and not try to change it.
Thus, very significant and important is the problem of fathers and children.Arguments showing the interaction of difficulties, always contain the keys for a positive decision.One has only to want to change something in my life as there are adequate and acceptable ways to do this.
