In bed with a chameleon

It was an ordinary day in a small zoomagazinchike on the outskirts.The cells were quarreling parrots, aquariums yawning goldfish and shabby chinchilla tried to run in his wheel to the shelves with food.Thin biology student, moonlighting on vacation seller in the mini-zoo, sadly looked at his patrimony and once again thought that the summer goes forever.

- not life, but a swamp.It is time to sing "I water, I water, who would speak to me ...."For the whole day, only one retiree for cat food came, - complained the guy chameleon Homa.Homa was the star of the store.To see how it changes color and turns the eyes, especially the local boys ran.And the more reputable buyers delayed his cell.Actually himself a pet shop called "Chameleon".But in the summer the boys were exiled in camps, while adults either at work or in cottages.Anguish and solitude.

And the heat and dust outskirts suddenly cut screeching brakes.Seller jumped to the window.Opposite the entrance to the store parked in a chic convertible.The top was down, in the best showing rare onlookers slender blonde behind the wheel of a car.The girl slammed the door, I looked at the sign shop and shapely legs entered the porch steps.Apparently, someone in heaven heard the prayers of Man.Further, his life began to spin faster than the wheel of the chinchilla.

- Why your store called "Chameleon"?- Not health, from the doorway asked the blonde.- And here we have ... - a trembling finger pointed at the guy Homa.When a lizard girl's eyes widened and vibrated like a rainbow.Looks visitor also made a strong impression on Homa.

- That's it!- Summarized the visitor.- How many?- He's not for sale.It's kind of advertising our shop - faltered biologist.- Nonsense!How many?- Squeezed painted lips girl.- It requires special care, food ... - very confused guy - I have to call the owner to ask.- So call and ask!- Cut off the blonde.- Oh, and tell your boss that he would go with me, show you how to care for it.We have it in the winter garden lodge.

Telephone conversations with the owner were brief.Blonde cocked amount did not bother, but in exchange it demanded that the biologist followed their charges at least two days to fully acclimatize lizard.- Now to your home, quickly gather all the necessary and go!The guy was blown away by such pressure.When he and the blonde famously drove to his dilapidated porch, the eyes of grandparents on a bench and stared zavraschalis stronger than the chameleon Homa.And when our student then jumped in the car with her backpack and a convertible, tires squealing, he rushed forward to the bright future of a chameleon, one of the attendants, even from the bench by surprise fell.

When half an hour later they stopped at a two-storey mansion, the guy just wiped his forehead.According to him, they did not go, and flew low, and for the whole trip wheels gig a couple of times touched the highway.Getting out of the car, and the guy had a lizard about the same nice gray-green complexion.Although Homa endured the journey is much better, he was way out of the cage to be seen.

The conservatory Homa liked, he played all the colors of the rainbow.Leaving lizard accustom the student went to sports simulator that shone in the corner through the leaves.And only I had grasped the handle of one of them, just can not describe by loudly shout: - service staff here can not be!- Towered over him a hefty man in a white T-shirt, as two drops of water like Shrek.Somewhere in the background, behind mounds of muscles, browse plaid shorts and sneakers.Looks decided to work out.The boy straightened up and muttered: - I do not underlings, I brought a chameleon.He's here in the garden ... - What is a chameleon in the garden?What are you babbling here !?Lit here all sorts of rubbish!Come on, get out, quick!- Shivering man grabbed a student by the collar and turned toward the door, but then there was among the leaves blond angel-savior in the form of morning blonde.She was going to overlook his new acquisition.Hearing the din, I thrilled that the noise, which is staged here are some gorilla, bad impact on the psyche of lizards.As expressed in no uncertain terms a rugged man who was brought to her brother.Shrek was not slow to parry that his sister's brain is not greater than that of most of these lizards.Rather, smelly warty toads.Our biologist afraid that it is a specialist judge will make the brains of different creatures and retreated sideways along the corridor under the unceasing noise of quarrel.

Next day passed without incident.The food in the house was first-rate, around a beautiful park, and through the small kalitochku could go out to the big lake.But when, after dinner, our friend came back to the next meeting with Homa, that was not there.Sweep out of the garden, he came across a blonde who lazily pedaled an exercise bike.Seeing upset hameleonovoda she hissed through clenched teeth: - Do not worry, everything is all right.I know where the chameleon.- Wow, well ... Where?- Stuck his little brother to bed.The student was stunned: - How stuck?Where you are stuck?- Wrapped in a napkin, tucked under a blanket in his bedroom.Vaughan is the room in the corridor.- You ... you ... you .. Why?- Let get to know Homa closer.Let the intellect develops.- Who develops?- Brother.At chameleon, I think this is all right.Well, I must go.Good night!

student followed chiseled look retreating figure.It was clear that we must do only one thing, and being immediately.The blonde gets out for any and extreme in this situation it would be.Not follow!Immediately bedroom Shrek, to learn from his bed, his scaly friend.

Luckily for him, the door was unlocked.And it was just the guy started to fumble on the bed as the corridor came the sound of heavy footsteps approaching.Shrek stamped in their spalenki.

Our student was not by nature very resourceful person, but at such a moment, even a child would have realized what to do.On the contrary, built-in cabinet was hospitably pushed the door.Apparently, Shrek was a dandy.Wardrobe was very roomy and had the eyeballs stuffed with jackets, coats and other crap.There is where to hide.And that's great, because the time was not retracting door.Nestled in the undergrowth of socks and shoes, a student surreptitiously looked out the gap between the jackets.It was some incomprehensible silence.I'd love to know what are you doing cordial host bedrooms.What he saw left him in shock.Since that time, Shrek is completely undressed and did some exercises before an open window.

The sight of the male nude into a gallop along the ridge student friendly squadron chills.If clothing Shrek was a bumpy man is exposed, it is as if there was a double.Swell and fell writhing muscles under his skin, just like a chameleon Homa under his blanket at this moment.

student at the sight made his way trembling so that one of the hangers vibrated and fell with a clear knock.A moment of silence, and then, a huge bunch of fives, sharivshaya of the cabinet exactly the tentacles of a giant squid grabbed savior chameleons by the hair and pulled.

- Oh!- Only the man said when his face was between the trouser leg.And it was from what oykat.His eyes stared at the body of Shrek, which he least wanted to get acquainted.Stimulated by the views of the victim's body he was aiming straight at his forehead like a gun.The sight student was speechless, just pyalil Shrek eyes upwards.And Shrek, surveying its prey, standing in front of him on his knees, pondering: - It is a pity that this crazy instance too small.At present the trophy does not pull, I'd have him alive to chop frayed.

Meanwhile, blonde sister, Shrek was greatly concerned that the chameleon in bed for so long does not show itself.It may be her brother even likes to sleep in the arms of lizards?With him gone.And she decided to go to explore the bedroom of his brother.I ventured to open the door, and made the right decision.The spectacle was worth it!Naked brother decided to make love with a student, a nerd!How wrong she was, considering his brother inveterate womanizer!It will be about gossip!The girl giggled: - to entertain, boys?- Yyyy !!!- Howled in response Shrek and pulling students out of the closet as a salmon from the river, twirled him in the air and aiming zapulilil guest in a brazen Sis.

When consciousness returned, the student found himself sitting in an empty hallway, looking at the closed door.Blonde washed off, his shirt torn on his forehead mature pine cone, Homa is still languishing in the dungeon.But hang in the hallway did not make sense.Swaying, our biologist walked down the hallway ... But as soon as he walked a few steps, as the silence of the night blew a shrill scream.It Shrek met with Homa.And it seems that familiarity was unsuccessful.

The door burst open, and flew into the corridor infuriated Shrek.Dress it did not have time.While Shrek turned his head against the sides, looking small reptile, zasunuvshego vile creature under his blanket, a student started so that he could envy Olympic champion.Strides he flew towards the winter garden, hoping to lurk among the vegetation.But Shrek was also trained small.Nape fugitive already sweating from the raucous breathing chase, but help came from an unexpected quarter.

The noise poured people.The corridor became crowded with such rapidity that our students showed that the figures in the terry robe pop right out of the carpet on the floor.From horror guy jumped straight with feet in polka dot palm trees and hiding between the leaves.Further action, he watched from the shelter.From the gathered crowd he was familiar only daveshny blonde.Continue to run naked with so many spectators even Shrek did not have enough gunpowder.He pulled the curtain from the window, quickly wrapped it around his hips and looked at the crowd hunted.

- So, now naked down the hall.Doprygat - summarized blonde, looking around her brother, - That this time sniffing?- Nothing!I have a snake in the bed! - Shrek retorted.- This vrazhina hoisted!I caught it!- You see, Dad, - blonde turned to the gray-haired man - he is somewhere again coke zatiharil.Poor room we searched the last time.- Look, look!- He thundered Shrek - Maybe otyschesh his botanist in my closet.- So the snake in the bed and the closet of botany?- Gray-haired man turned purple.- Are you on them with bare ass down the hall?Guys, go for it!- He otdvinulsya and gave way to two stalwart fellows guards.They rushed to the second curtain to the window, the dispute swaddle kicking Shrek and dragged kicking fellow somewhere down the hall.Judging by the skill, it does not do it all for the first time.Discussing the incident, the crowd gradually melted away.There was only blonde.He walked on tiptoe to the garden and whispered: - Where are you?

student got out of the palm trees.On the forehead of mature pine cone, torn shirt, shoes and trousers in the ground.The blonde looked critically Man: - Yes, it's great you ... But now neither you nor Homa can not stay here, and that the pope sees and understands what I wonder at her brother drove.Where is the lizard?- Somewhere in the bedroom.- I will bring it now.And just mosey!Money on the road, I also give a chameleon ... After half an hour and the student passed the time on the platform of a commuter train.Benches were occupied, and the student sat right on the platform, putting a box with Homa ahead.To lizard choked, she lifted the lid, and dozed off.When awakened by the whistle of the approaching train, he saw the pitiful citizens distribute the battered dirty guy to cover fines, and some even donated the unfinished bottle of beer.- Compassionate in our nation!Not that these little ... in the eyes or knit ... - sighed a student getting into the train.

the next week until the bruises gone, malicious grandmother at the entrance to the student after giggling, remembering how he had left in a red convertible with gorgeous blonde and returned to bumps and bruises.Homa was more fortunate.He still shimmered with all the colors in the home cage.And, perhaps, he told in their own language inhabitants pet store, how cool puganul great uncle, and what were the beautiful flowers in the conservatory.

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