The concern is different from the controls, and on what grounds it can be determined that you push too hard on the loved one.
French psychologist organized a survey among married couples to understand where it ends nice care and control of a bad start, and simultaneously asked to name the two most important sign that this has happened.
majority of respondents believe that the accusations and jealousy are two of the key reasons that the family breaks down, because the love and care have become a burden.We have tried to find a face, after which the care of a loved one develops into total control so that a man leaves the family in which everyone loved it.
charges
How many times a day do you blame the person close to you in the minor offenses?Loosely closed the door of the refrigerator.I do not call.I forgot to buy milk.Late.I do not awakened.I woke up.With a dog does not walk."I asked a hundred times not to put glass on the table without a coaster," - familiar?Small, absolutely not worth discussing things that turn into an unsolvable problem of universal scale, when people live together.The charges are accumulated, one clings to another during any - even accidental - they quarrel spilling out.
Even in peacetime, when you seem to be tolerated and did not comment, unspoken complaints creating a cloud in the house of stress and guilt.
And it turns out that your loved one who loves you back, you unhappy.And not only when you're in something of the accused, but also when you are silent, because he thinks that the accused and not just say it.But if you separate each of these small lump on problemok in which they are entangled, it turns out that it is absolutely negligible and certainly not worth it to spoil the mood of each other and the more quarreling.
In the end, well, if he constantly forgets to buy milk, buy it for yourself or constituting it a shopping list, or go to the store together.In general, get a simple solution to the problem instead of looking for someone to blame and voluptuous, it's no blame.
It is quite possible that you might even be right, and your partner is wrong.But do not forget, people are always willing to forgive us when we are wrong, but they will never forgive those rights.
And, of course, look at yourself.If a good deal, it often turns out that we are trying to accuse others of what to blame themselves.No need to shift the blame to the lover.
Jealousy
the early stages of a relationship, and after, even during tight family life, we often feel jealous expression of love and care.Family psychologists distinguish the basic patterns for men and women: "If you jealous, then she does not care about.""It made me jealous - means taking care of me."It seems very moving when favorite anxiously asks, why are you so late coming from work, where she was, who this Tatyana, who calls you on your mobile after nine in the evening.Many people really like it when a partner is jealous.
the part of the jealous or revnivitsy it looks even more touching.Firstly, jealous initially rises in a very comfortable position.He is the victim here.He immediately right.And the most dangerous - he immediately jealous stronger, because he loves and cares for more.In general, all couples have moving stories about how they were jealous of each other.But if the couple tell you their lovely stories while still together, so they use the past tense.So, a couple of "touching" the stage of mutual jealousy grew.
There is not one family in which, say, a woman for years satisfied the man daily tantrums on "where have you been, you rascal," while a man does not run away from her very favorite, to the other - a quiet, understand and never asks questions"who were you with?".
The fact that jealousy - it does not care.And certainly not a manifestation of love.Jealousy - is an attempt to control what does not belong to you - the life of another person.The narrower the framework in which you try to keep him, the sooner he will ask himself the question: "Why should I, in fact, all suffer?" According to Russian sociologists, almost 25% of couples come to divorce because of jealousy (and 52% - because of adultery, which is often also provoked irrepressible sense of possessiveness partner).
Russian saying "if you like - let 'was invented for a reason.Man does not like to be constrained by family ties, even if it is a very loving and beloved family ties.The man loves to be loved, but that is not kept locked up.
And when he does not think that, pausing for an hour, the house will get it on his head, another scandal, it is much more likely to seek to go home to his beloved, who meets him with the words, "Hello, dear," and not "againI wandered ?! ".Psychologists recommend to turn it into a habit, even if this contradicts your temperament: you are surprised to find that if the person does not ask, he was the first happy to tell you where it was, with whom, and why was delayed.And mystical Tatiana would not leggy blonde - a destroyer of families and seventy Buhgaltersha that has arisen an urgent question about the salary sheet.
Yet unfounded fears about the dishonesty of a partner is usually a lot more fear, which are without at least some basis.
Articles Source: psylive.ru
