Astrologers also joking.Including about yourself ...
About as forecasts
Old astrologer teaches young:
- The main thing - do not give categorical negative predictions.For example, yesterday I asked the client if he wins the election.I replied - If you're going to operate actively and aggressively without departing before difficulties - yes.But it all depends on you ...
The next day the young astrologer came to the client.
- soon will die, my mother-in-law?
- If you're going to operate actively and aggressively without departing before difficulties - sometime soon.But it all depends on you ...
reincarnation
astrologer Went to a brothel.
- It Zizi ...
- And I'm sorry, when she was born?Hmm ... Venus in Capricorn ... Is there anyone livelier?
- And this is ... Mimi
- Hmm ... Mars in Aries ... and there is someone calmer?
- Citizen, then go to the personnel department and choose it for personal reasons!
sat astrologer 4:00 in the personnel department, finally said:
- Here!Found !
- But this is our fireman, Vasily Makarych!Here it is written ...
- I see, I see, too, know how to read.But in the past it was the birth of a famous movie star!
About clairvoyants
One friend says to another:
- Do you believe in clairvoyant?
- Nope.
- Why?
- I've gone to a knock at the door, and she said: "Who is there?".
about future
2034.The teacher is the Pasha to the blackboard and asks: - Paul, say, your father's birth chart transiting Mars is connected to the natal Sun.Where will your father that day and after work) to the library b) in the Conservatory) to the stadium?
- in the beer it will go - that's where.
- Paul, you do not know how to operate transit!
- And you do not know my dad!
About forgetfulness
astrologer, returning home from a business trip and did not want to put himself and his wife in an awkward position, delayed, waiting for the exact trine of Jupiter to its natal Venus.Finally, the waiting, it is a home, and yet finds his wife in the arms of a stranger, but muscular man.With tears in his eyes and a trembling voice, he says to his wife:
- Tom, but there is now Jupiter trine to Venus ...
- Oh, my God, because I forgot to look in the ephemeris, you are ready to arrange a tantrum!
about fatherhood
Man comes to a fortune.She spread her card and says:
- you - the father of two children.
- No, you're wrong, I'm the father of three children.
- No, you're wrong ...
About
fortuneteller fortune teller - you will live in poverty, in poverty and 30 years.
- And then?
- then get used.
About Postman Pechkin
In the office of the astrological interior stole all of the revenue.Here comes the reception accountant to astrologers and says that supposedly stolen today denyuzhku so and so.
first astrologer thought and says:
- just today, so on Wednesday ...
second astrologer continues:
- Every Wednesday, the ruler of Mercury ...
third comes:
- Since Mercury, so it's the damn mailmanPechkin ...
gathered in the evening went, found Pechkin, nakostylyat horoshenechko.But he, the bastard, and the money does not give, say, they say, did not take.
then the next day they went to the court Pechkin.Told means that Pechkin stole money from them, and does not give.
Well, the judge and asked why, they say, they thought it Pechkin stole.
Astrologers and explained:
- Wednesday was the case, then Mercury, Mercury again, then ... Pechkin
judge listened and said:
- Interesting logic ... And when I go fishing?
first astrologer:
- Every fishing, mean fish ...
second astrologer:
- Since Pisces is Jupiter ...
The third astrologer:
- Since Jupiter is clearly the case - Thu ...
Here the judge callsfriend and invites you to go fishing.
judge wakes up little by little and eventually turns to Pechkin:
- Well, the postman, had on you would not have thought ...
Photo source: allday.ru
