Jealousy to the former - a pathology or a norm?

with the assertion that jealousy - a sense of painful, destructive, no one will not argue.However, some psychologists assure that jealousy shows weakness of character, lack of confidence, it is - pathology.But with such a conclusion is debatable.

We will not really talk about pathological jealousy, groundless.However, we discuss this question: whether the jealousy of former cohabitants, spouses or loved ones today halves of mental disorder or is it - a pattern?

Naturally, each person experiences this feeling towards his beloved.Another question is on what jealousy is based.Is it fear of losing your soul mate or a failure of the individual, to doubt myself a man?Trying to justify the inability or unwillingness to sacrifice for the sake of his love some habits, foundations, world?

words "I do not care about your past attachment, I'm not interested, someone you had before me and what kind of relationship you connected with someone you once elected or chose his companions" - a lie, a sort of psychological defense of jealousy, butnot the absence of it.After all, in essence jealousy of the former - it is a war with the past, which is not change, the fight with the windmills, with the ghost, which, alas, does not win.So, do not worth it.

Though the sense of necessarily find in your heart, even tiny, little corner.And if in life so happens that the chosen one, unfortunately, has a similar experience, you learn to accept it as a possible realistic: you are now with me, we are fine, and the jealousy of the former can only spoil what we have now.

Although often a new relationship still destroyed precisely because of the existence of the past.Here is an example of life.The man lived with a lady more like family relations position "daddy-daughter" rather than "equal wife."

second fiancee was the complete opposite of the first: an independent, strong-willed, he could, "grip".It seems that man needs to live now so enjoy.But no!Before the New Year, he is in the house with a Christmas tree.New husband proudly displays his already decorated the Christmas tree, which she bought, earned, established.But the husband wrinkled, embarrassed and tells the woman that he bought the Christmas tree for his ex-wife.

«She's so unadapted ... will remain in the New Year without a Christmas trees ..." As a result, a man goes to attribute tree in his old home, where he remains forever.Questions: who is right and who is wrong, it could make a new woman of her feelings confused men - remain unanswered.Because no jealousy of the former nor the attempts to prevent the rupture of new relations in such situations could not change anything.Just old feelings proved stronger than it seemed at first glance.

Some families, oddly enough, decay due to complete lack of jealousy.In such situations, a similar relationship bordering on indifference.A little jealousy in love - it is like adding spices to a dish, salt and sugar.Without it, life becomes fresh and monotonous.

However, there are still so-called morbid jealousy - for no reason, without any hint of betrayal.That feeling just a disease, a mental aberration, says no, even shouting insolvency of man, his low self-esteem.

Often this deviation has a real solution in scandals, in fights, despotic attitude towards revnuemomu.The attempt to lay down a relationship with a person who has a pathological jealous, can play a bad joke.

  1. Tortured spouse seeks solace on the side, embodying the fantasies are jealous or revnivitsy in which to reproach unjustly.
  2. During the next quarrel with violence someone is injured or even committed murder.
  3. suicide occurs with one party or another.

How could grow the roots of this country, it is necessary, and the destructive feelings?As they say the same psychologists, all our troubles - from childhood.In one family the parents, for whatever reason it was, like a child over the other.Of course it is clear that a child who has been denied parental affection, tormented, jealous, suffering, not realizing his guilt.Children age jealousy will not disappear: it grows with the person, and sometimes - very quickly it, the whole being flooded.

«nedolyublennosti" children often - the most perverse tyrants.Of these, then turn violent at times jealous, maniacs, murderers or drunken bums.

second cause uncomfortable relationship in a family where jealousy reigns and commands all the senses, again, is the experience of family life in childhood.Only here it is not worth talking about the disease and about the bad example that takes people from their families, applying it to yourself and your significant other.