Do you think a man in my life is to just simply plant a tree, raise a son and build a house?No, apart from that, he has to make 100 more exploits:
1. To be born.
2. ill with mumps.
3. hate fish oil.
4. fight in the sandbox for toy car.
5. Piss upwind.
6. Learn how to wiggle their ears.
7. Break the glass in the office of director of the school-aimed shot from a slingshot.
8. In gym class hide in the locker room and the girls shrieking be expelled therefrom.
9. With the help of a mirror, put on toe, make sure that the first class beauty really is red panties.
10. Get a "count" (one) with two outs on behavior.
11. Drink a glass of vodka, not biting.Due to the fact that the young body is not yet familiar with alcohol poisoning, vodka is drunk like water, what he was surprised and proud to announce their more experienced colleagues, who only laughed, knowing what would happen next.
12. Get alcohol poisoning.I swear not to drink more than ever in my life, and a week later become a perjurer.
13. Try "grass."
14. Finally, deprived of innocence.
15. To deprive someone of innocence.Representatives of the same sex and animals are not considered!
16. Discourage a girl from a friend.
17. When parents go on vacation, to gather home huge company, to defeat the apartment, including collectible crystal, in the morning to drive his father's car (in the cabin and trunk - 15 passengers) and enter the nearest lamppost.
18. To pass the exam in English (physics, economics) for his friend.
19. Engage in silent sex with a classmate when sitting in the next room and her parents think chadushki preparing for the exam.
20. Create your married lover is much older than himself and very proud of it.
21. To fall to the husband of his mistress at the scene, go down a drainpipe in shorts and getting to the house, pretend to be a sportsman society "Labor Reserves".
22. Take a trip to the Black Sea hitchhiking.
23. Spend the night on the beach and having sex in the waves, almost sinking partner.
24. With a bottle of wine in hand and beach slippers to climb impregnable from the sea cliff, the road ahead astonished climbers - in full gear and insurance.
25. emptied on a nudist beach canister dry wine, go to the city for the addition, and only on the main street to discover that he had forgotten to put on the heat.
26. Drink in the dispute 15 beers, thus winning 15 more mugs.
27. Call 5 am on a random phone and bellow into the phone: "Why are you awake ?!".
28. smeared with mastic peephole neighbor that she spied with whom he came home tonight and in what condition.
29. The slippers on his bare feet to go outside to get bread, and come back in a week, having been in Sochi and Astrakhan.
30. Send to a friend a postcard from Astrakhan with a reminder of the fleeting meeting last year at the resort, written with grammatical errors and feminine hand.The last sentence: "Our Sasha (named in honor of you) already holds a head."
31. In Astrakhan-Moscow train conductor to sell its Swiss watch (birthday) for 3 bottles of vodka and 2 fresh cucumber.
32. Assign at the same time a date three different girls, and at the last minute to go with friends on the football "Spartak" - "Dinamo".
33. After the soccer game stand in the way of the column "Spartak" fans, to deploy a colorful banner with a vegetarian the words "Down with the meat!".
34. go to a bar where bikers gather, pull the hair very thick, spit in his mug with beer, pop up on the street, fell to the ground the entire range of bikes and wait calmly consequences.Do not forget to call "ambulance"!And then consult a psychiatrist.
35. To arrange an orgy with all the ex-girlfriend and the sexiest give a valuable gift to the applause of others.
36. Buy her friend in a sex shop edible underwear.Eat, washed down with beer.
37. Inflate several colored condoms like balloons, and solemnly to give their son a neighbor.
38. Persuade girlfriend's name tattooed on the buttocks.
39. Being a witness at the wedding of best friend: losing in the last minute wedding rings, say witty toast, that each person is now done for, loudly whisper at the table, pointing to the mother of the bride: "That's what your wife become" pinchingbuttocks witness, trying to cope with hiccups with the help of breathing exercises and acrobatic sketches, from the stage to sing into the microphone bawdy ditty, while dancing to fall to the floor, not even trying to regroup finally fall asleep with his head in a bowl.
40. Going to a bus tour of Europe;examining Paris, begin tasting French wine and wake up the next day under a bridge on the banks of the Seine in a society some clochard.
41. In Hamburg, bargain hard with a prostitute in broken German, until she swore on a purely Russian: "Well, I got the goat!".
42. After drinking beer in Munich, scaring passers-by in the street shouting "Mamma Mia!"and "Hyundai hoch".
43. In the Vatican to take part in the picket fighters for the legalization of abortion.Require private audience with the Pope.
44. Take a swim in the clothing and shoes in the famous Roman fountain "Trevi".
45. Fall in love at first sight and to the loss of memory.
46. To present at three o'clock in the object of his adoration bouquet of flowers, to break all the Botanical Garden, including rare specimens of Rhododendron katevbinskogo.
47. Going with these rhododendrons fire stairs to the fifth floor, to mix window, scaring to death the old lady suffering from insomnia, rouse the whole house, and spend the rest of the night at the police station.
48. Marry.
49. Divorce.
50. Seduce secretary of his boss right at his polished desk.Polishing not wipe!
51. Contract with Egypt to supply silica sand quarry near Moscow.
52. On New Year's corporate party dress up in a suit of the Snow Maiden, and so enter into the image that the whole holiday that you only use the women's restroom, and the curtain boss clearly offer sexual services.
53. Going to the porn site, grab the virus, which will bring down the entire computer network of the company.
54. Lunchtime covertly penetrate the design bureau and the poster with David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson, decorating the workplace designer Olga, to portray his mustache and beard, glued cross band-aid, a tattoo "I love Olga" (on the face of David Duchovny).
55. Make a report to the feminist congress on the theme: "Is she a man?".
56. Remove the television talk show "I myself!"in the role of facilitator.
57. patented invention "22 ways to open beer bottles."
58. On the corporate party in honor of Women's Day, so slap champagne cork, to the chief accountant Evdokia Skipidarovnu taken to the "emergency" with the diagnosis of "traumatic eyeball fast-moving subject."
59. To come to the reunion dressed like a bum.Delighted by his appearance favorite chemistry teacher who always said that because "this bonehead or anything acceptable did not succeed."
60. Release while on holiday mustache and beard, heavily tanned face and before going to work to shave.
61. Release the brush mustache and walk so a couple of months, asking everybody: "I look like Charlie Chaplin?".
62. hanged himself in the toilet poster of Britney Spears - upside down.
63. To have sex for money.Paying a woman.
64. The Day of the city to participate in the marathon.Refresh yourself on the road to 12 bars and finish in the top ten.
65. After partying in a nightclub to arrange a high-speed test drive his new car, mobilized in pursuit of all urban Driver's License.During the arrest, said: "If it were not for the trash can, you would no how do I not caught up."
66. Week lain in bed, without leaving home.Explain to everyone that participated in the experiment of hypokinesia, as is preparing to become an astronaut.
67. Late for the start of the spacecraft and the question of "Where were you?"answer: "And who will go for" Klin? ".
68. Take part in the competition for karaoke. Every time, regardless of the melody to sing" Pops Kombat ".
69. View fil" The Matrix "six times and learn to run along the ceilingby force of will.
70. Bring your girlfriend to a strip bar, beg her to arrange a strip on the table, and immediately earned money to spend on other strippers.
71. striptease show Himself.
72. Reprogramming signal "mobile" his bossDepartment until it is in the toilet, to the tune of cancan "When I gimnazistskoy play football, scored an own goal I missed, couples-pam-pam!".
73. She is on a computer, as desktop pictures, downloadFrame: Italian porn star Cicciolina intercourse with a huge mastiff.
74. Secretly recorded on a mobile phone sounds, which publishes a girlfriend at the moment of orgasm, and make the record background for greetings answering machine: "Hello.Unfortunately, at the moment to come to the phone, no one can ... "
75. Take a walking tour through the United States in Boots, crimson trousers, silk shirt and a fur cap with a star on her forehead Kantemir division. On the chain to lead a bear to offer allvodka.
76. Meet with the President of the United States and drink it with vodka, so that he abandoned the program Strategic Defense Initiative.
77. wake up in bed with Madonna.
78. traded from the Indians to the fire water (production of s-da "Crystal"all the gold of Montezuma.
79. As a gift from America to bring his girlfriend gum.
80. Dive on the submersible "Mir-1" to "Titanic" and the roar bad voice "MY HEART Will he go!" from start to finish. You canwithout words.
81. Give your girlfriend a reproduction of "Mona Lisa", saying that the author of this picture Leonardo DiCaprio himself.
82. On the Great Wall of China with an aerosol spray to withdraw, "Free Tibet!".
83. On the Kremlin wall white paint to write "Spartacus - the champion!".
84. In Mexico, drink tequila, Cuba - rum, France - Cognac, Scotland - whiskey in Japan - sake - only to once again confirm the superiority of Russian vodka.
85. Take a sex tour to Thailand.
86. brought to the room the girl and find out what it is - a transvestite.
87. Swallow heart svezhevypotroshennoy cobra, drinking her own blood to drink.
88. poke his head into the mouth of a crocodile.Or visit the dentist.Select it easier.
89. To dig up the garden at the cottage at Tiffany's, to offer his services as a scarecrow.
90. Catch in the river stinky fish smaller than a fishing hook, onlookers gathered to scientifically explain this miracle of nature.
91. Get fire by rubbing a stick about a stick.
92. Bring a basket full of woods and pale fly agaric toadstools.Give the mother-in kitchen.
93. Remove with his girlfriend amateur porn and secretly record replicate it on the Internet.
94. To have a mistress 20 years younger than himself.Only by achieving 36 - years of age!
95. Become a CEO of a major company.
96. recruit his former boss - personal driver.
97. Play your whole state preference.
98. Falling overboard and end up on a desert island.
99. Become the leader of a savage tribe.
100. run for president.To win the election in the first round.
Articles Source: RUNET
