Especially for the weekend!
young man turns to the professor:
- Mr. Professor, I ask your daughter's hand!
- A young man - responsible professor.The answer I have to learn from the Great Dragon, as it did always keep people in the East.
- No need - says a young man - a blessing your wife I've got!
***
Earlier Photo woke thoughts, feelings, memories.Now when you look at any photo in the majority there is only one question:
"Photoshop or silicone?"
***
Vasya turned 8 years.On the day after his birthday teacher asks:
- What's in your life, the most beautiful thing?
Bob thought for a moment and replies:
- I think samole beautiful in life have a guy like me, is, of course, cool girl!
teacher very disappointed and wrote in his diary Vasya a note for his father:
- you show dad and tomorrow let me know his answer.
Next the teacher asks:
- What does your father say?
Bob responds to this:
- Dad and I were sitting at the bar, drank a cup of coffee, with a lot to discuss, and then smoked a cigar gavannskoy again argued a lot, decided to drink some brandy, again discussed.In the end we came to a consensus:
«You, probably, all the same BLUE!»
***
Professor: Are you afraid of my questions?
Student: No, I'm afraid my answer
***
restaurant owner:
- now in our restaurant white dinner - ladies gentlemen treat!
***
crazy.One jerk differently:
- Did you like my story, which I gave you last read?
- Yes, but somehow everything is blurred, and many actors ...
includes doctors: -So, assholes who took the phone book?
***
Little Nostradamus mother:
- Mom, what we have for dinner tonight?
- And then you bitch, do not you know ...
***
guy tells his friend:
- Estimate, a girl because I want to leave with life ...
- It can not be!
- Maybe!She said it is better to hang himself than marry me.
***
girl shares with her friends:
- I found a boyfriend.Smart, kind, faithful and beautiful ... And I am happy!While clever did not know about the good and true - about the beautiful.
***
- What is a woman's happiness?
- This is when you see your ex with a girl, and she was - terrible!
***
night Harry Potter wakes up from a terrible scream.As it turned out, Ron shouted.
-Ron, what happened?
-I had a nightmare!
-What?-The
-Know-Who shoved me you-know-that you-know-where!
***
guy met a girl.Finally, she invited him to her home in the evening.Go into the room, they begin to caress.Girl:
- T!My parents at home, sleeping right now.Dad is in OMON, mother - Lieutenant MIA.
guy myself: Damn, where am I?
continue, forgotten already.
Girl:
- Quiet, I have a brother in the next room, just out of the Airborne Troops returned.
guy myself: Damn, where am I?
girl: - Do you want an unforgettable night?
- Yes!
- Violence
Photo source: ebbettsgoodtogo.com
