Funny quotes from Runet

xxx: I yesterday without tension burned 800 calories.

yyy: Well, well, well, here in detail.I write.

xxx: Just forget the pizza in the oven ...

* * *

xxx: How to breed girl to have sex?

yyy: girls do not need to plant, it's not you rabbits, to care for them)))

zzz: And the rabbit, I do not need to look after?

* * *

xxx: You henpecked!

yyy: I prefer to think of himself as a man capable of a reasonable compromise for the sake of sex and borscht ...

* * *

gamer:: '(

Dasha: Paaaaaaash, are you crying or something?

gamer:Smiley crying. And I'm a man. I resent.

* * *

(From correspondence with my colleague, leaped from the "bungee")

xxx: Well, then, did not open the wings behind the back? :)

yyy: Nonot opened.But the jet engine was trying to join :(

* * *

xxx: Well? Were you in London problems with your English?

yyy: I do not have. The English were.

* * *

xxx:What is your salary?

yyy: 1500.

xxx: Loch!

yyy: the day.

xxx: I would like not much.

yyy: Euro.

xxx: Suuuuuuuuuka !!!!

* * *

xxx: According to national signs, a new home first need to let Internet cable. And where he goes - there put a bed.

yyy: And the table.

zzz: And the computer.

hhh: And zhrachku!

* * *

It: You - the girl of my dreams! Beautiful, witty, cheerful ...

It: You say that just to fuck me?

It: Also, another extremely clever!

* * *

it: The sun, I adore you!

it: :) what is it?

it: Just so.So many men - goats and terrible monsters!Are you among them the best!

* * *

Lisitsa: I do not know who my daughter grow up.At home no one doll!But a collection of guns and all sorts of cars ...

SONYA: To me your problems.We all serious.The first love of his son.

Lisitsa: Well this is cool!So cute)

SONYA: Well, yes, all are touched ... Yesterday, the teacher asks: Nikita, you love Olu?Son nods.She: Strong love?Nikita, with ecstatic eyes: the shit!

* * *

xxx: I will come, already at the monument.

yyy: Which?

xxx: Over the bridge.

yyy: Cute

yyy: Favorite

yyy: Sunny

yyy: Kitten

yyy: Damn

yyy: Well your mother

yyy: this is Peter!

yyy: here everywhere bridge!

yyy: and monuments ...

* * *

it: do not you dare call me more and write.

it: what happened?

it: nothing.

it: what did I do?

it: you did not call and do not write ...

* * *

xxx: I broke my toe!

yyy: how did it happen?

xxx: I want to get down ... and hit the stool !!

yyy: Well, you give) a finger?

xxx: the index on the right foot

yyy: index?on the foot?and what it indicates?)

xxx: the fact that I duuuuraaaa !!

* * *

xxx: You're a complete goof.Even your girlfriend left me!It is a stone in your garden!

yyy: No, it's a log in your bed.

* * *

xxx: As a child, some of the boys would try to somehow cram between the spokes of the bicycle terrible thundering plastic jar.Since then the years passed ... Now that the street can hear the rumbling roar of the engine without a muffler, I understand that those boys up ... but ..lyad, nichrome not grown up!

* * *

xxx: Today I have seven crushed intelligence.

yyy: How's that?

xxx: Diploma flies beat!

* * *

Ole4ka: What you gave your girlfriend's birthday?:)

VanPersy: Smelly cologne (

Ole4ka: And you probably want a computer?

VanPersy: And here the computer? I already spermotoksikoz two months there was no sex, how do you think I would? !!

Ole4ka: Broken computer?

* * *

xxx: That's the paradox of life ....

yyy: Che ??

xxx: I rent the tower, deputy dean, the seriousness, however. The problem got one in theone, in the spur. The spur in the inner pocket of his jacket, I without the pale I look, writing, beauty. In any case, put the phone on the table, so the time to look. And here on this fucking drovolet comes sms and he vibration falls on the floor. cant lift - my spurs smoothly spread out on the floor ... Retake autumn ...

yyy: Hmm ... what's the paradox?

xxx: I came out, I read the SMS: "Hi! Good luck on the exam !!!"

* * * xxx: In general, I'm your children will always say" google! "That will come to me son, ask why the sky is blue, and I told him -" Googling! "asks why airplanes fly, and Iit - "google".

yyy: Ask how he appeared, and you tell him ...

xxx: Oh, Nanan, come here, I'll tell you about the storks!

* * *

xxx: Here I was born in the winter.Now explain where I come from?Storks do not fly, cabbage does not grow ...

yyy: Snowmen blinded ...

* * *

xxx: Matriarchy WANT !!!Fun: quarreled with her husband, turn your back to the wall and begin to snore.And he was in tears, takes the children - and the pope, the pope !!!

* * *

xxx: I never buy an apartment in the center - there is no place to walk the dog ...

yyy: I do not want to upset you, but flat in the center you will never buy not the only reason!

* * *

xxx: Remember that once you was the most nimble sperm!

yyy: Alas ... I remember that the most nimble time to escape, and I sucked ...

* * * xxx: Life - is the Looking Glass: to remain in place, it is necessary to escape, and to get somewhere, have to run even faster.

yyy: Max, what you described - this is not the Wonderland.This is not the escalator.

* * * xxx: This country is invincible, invincible these girls, these guys are invincible ... I now wonder why all the idiocy associated with invincibility?

* * *

xxx: You are whom you work?

yyy: Manager to work with clients.

xxx: So, you work with people?

yyy: No, with customers ...

* * *

xxx: How are you feeling?

yyy: Inadequate.

xxx: How's that?

yyy: It's when things pi..dets and mood -

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