hard worker in the museum:

- Here are bastards!Here people have nothing to eat, and they are painting with oil paint ...


husband fell into a stupor in his apartment finding her lover's wife with a strange woman ...


- What are you so gloomy?

- Yes, that's the wife found out about the mistress.

- I understand.And how do you now?

- Decided time so - let lover takes children from the kindergarten and in the garden potatoes spud


Diary of a bachelor: "wiped the floor, wiped the dust, wash the clothes, washed the dishes, cleaned the tub and toilet, cookeddinner ... Damn: want to marry myself! "


dentist out of the office, where he stayed patient and nervously walks from side to side, pulling the chin.Nurse:

- What happened?The complex case?

- hard!The client has a lot of money, and all the healthy teeth ...


man walks home, and mother-in-law sitting in a chair and at the feet of a Doberman.Mother-in-law looks at her husband's daughter, showing his finger at him and says:

- in-law!


young guy that is forces running for the girl.

-Girl, girl!

-What is it?

It's not you on the bus umbrella forgotten?

-Oh, that's me!

Well then run for the bus.He has not yet gone far.


- Where are you, Prince Ivan?

- in the open field.Father ordered a shot from a bow, an arrow in the courtyard whose fall - there and take the bride ...

- A grenade to the boom screwed why?

- Passion as a reluctance to marry! ...


girl you dance?

- No.

- Then let's not waste time ...


Little Johnny comes home and tells her mother:

Mum, I'm getting married.

-Molodets, son.and the name of the bride?


-So he's a boy!

-Nihrena currently boy.26 years already!


old man caught a goldfish, she prayed, and said to his grandfather:

- Let go of me, my grandfather, I will fulfill your every wish! ...

- I want to be a hero of the Soviet Union!

... grandfather and remained one all by himself with two grenades against five tanks.


son quarrels with parents:

- I'm tired of being with you, always be on time!I want romance, freedom, beer, girls!I'm leaving, and do not try to hold me back!

Son decisively goes towards the exit.At the door he catches up with his father.

- Dad, I said, do not try to stop me!

- I do not stop, son.I'm with you


professor at the lecture asks the audience:

- Who can explain to me, what have long tails of sperm?

all silent, one girl timidly:

- I guess it is easier to extract from the teeth.