Neglect - is one of the most common ways to protect the psychological level of the person or circumstances, as well as means of punishing the other person.Often there is a saying: "Ignoring - one of the oldest forms of emotional abuse."We'll talk more about that.
That includes the notion of "ignoring»
First of all, ignore - is (in psychology) avoidance.Man is aware of the bad effects, but decides not to pay attention to it.He remembers the troubles aware of their presence, and just trying to make sure that in any case does not interfere with the factors that can deliver information about ignored.This may be intentional: she "did not notice" the guy who tired of his attentions, or something like that.But there are situations where a person unconsciously pulls away from a problem.
Best painless option, or neglect - one of the oldest forms of emotional abuse?
There are options that can help to neglect situations, and when it acts in a completely opposite direction.It is not necessary to focus on the small everyday problems that can not lead to serious consequences.Remember that ignoring the - kind of emotional abuse if the child soiled clothes on the street.What are you more - your little man or some cloth flap?
Relevance ignoring
For example, the mother in law said something roughly like the question-law.It is worth considering whether this is the typical behavior of a person, or was tired, annoyed and did not control their behavior.If the latter, why focus on this account and respond to aggression with aggression.It makes more sense to be rude to skip past the ears.But if this is the norm for the aforementioned in-law and she consciously displays a conflict, then there is a place problematic situation to be solved to allow normal communication.Serious problems are not recommended to ignore.Pulling away from them, you will not be able to find a solution, so - they will remain and eventually will acquire unnecessary, further clog up the situation with facts.
Same-law, for some reason discontented daughter, will continue to use rudeness, conflict include other members of the family circle, as long as the power-law did not come to naught.As a result - a huge scandal or something worse, tranquil withering daughter for fear of frank talk and solve in-law.The reason for ignoring the serious problems can be banal fear: fear of failure, fear of losing for the solution time and money.
Matrix ignoring
Keane and Eric Mellor Sigmund once developed circuit matrix and the object of determining the degree of neglect.We consider three different criteria: level domain type.
Levels ignore in this case considered the four.It:
- the possibility of the presence of (a person ignores the existence of possible solutions as a whole);
- its significance (understanding of the availability of the solution, but the denial of its effectiveness in advance);
- change is possible (understanding the availability of solutions, but early failure to apply);
- personal ability (inability to perform a possible solution because of inappropriate personal relationship to this method).
ignoring Fields, there are three: the "I", other people, the situation.
Types ignore - the stimulus, opportunities and challenges.
For these three criteria is a matrix:
Using this matrix, we can find the level at which ignoring the problem occurs, and accordingly affect the person to encourage the search for a solution.Search "home" should start with the top row, the leftmost cell, and further down the diagonal.
Neglect - is emotional abuse
How come to that conclusion?Often people deliberately ignore each other to punish his inattention.For a guy who is guilty will be painfully indifferent attitude to his attempts at reconciliation on the part of the girl.Head can apply the same tactics to subordinate made a mistake in ignoring his attempts to rehabilitate.Thus, a person who ignores, in the end can feel an empty space or be pissed if you do not stop in time to avoid it.Think carefully before you in such a way to punish the neighbor: Would not it worse, and you as well.Ignoring - one of the oldest forms of emotional abuse, and the use of it is seldom more than harm.Any complex situation must be addressed: through conversation or the collection of information by engaging others - by any means, but not idle.An adequate analysis of the situation will make it clear whether or not to apply the disregard of one of the oldest forms of emotional abuse, or use more subtle methods without causing harm to the psycho-emotional person.Consider some situations in which you can see where ignoring applicable.
«Ignore" - useful when ...
man inordinately stupid.Yes, you did not give up, we decided to act, bring reasonable arguments, explanations, but the opponent is they simply do not understand.You are fighting over the problem of the day, week, month, bringing all the old and new facts, but no results.Is it worth spending more time and energy or better keep aloof?
Man inadequate.If you delve into the essence of nonsense pouring from the mouth of an opponent is just clog your own brain and ruin the mood.My grandmother, who clung to the young man in the taxi with stories about what he looks unsuitable and verbal fountain of how it was "in my time" can be ignored.Having received no reply to his passionate speech, she will lose interest.In a free society, everyone has the right look, as he wishes.Wants guy ripped jeans - let the bears, though putting on a skirt.It's his choice.
problem is insignificant, and pointed to her attention can lead to a negative result.The child used the "bad" word.The first time it should be ignored, because not seeing any reaction from parents, child may simply lose interest in this way.But if it happens all the time, it is necessary to solve the problem by relaxing conversation using different techniques, according to the child's age.
Do not overdo it.Everywhere important measure
Ignoring - the oldest form of emotional abuse, but do not bring to it even older "brother" - indifference.You can get carried away so much in order to keep away from the problems that you really will not care.For example, the constant disregard of the father domestic problems - first because of fatigue, and then out of habit, but they have it and do not worry, "let the wife understands."Yes, the surrounding will be able to find a solution themselves, and not the fact that it will satisfy you.But you have to be still.
