little boy comes home from the rink and throws his skates in the middle of the corridor.
After some time out of the room Grandpa notices skates and says:
- grandson, is that you are left skate?
- Grandpa, yes Cast away in the direction of you.
- Okay.
Grandpa flings foot skating and going on, and the grandson yells:
- Urrraaaaa !!!We now car will be!
- Where did you get it?
- Pope mother yesterday said: "That's when my grandfather throw the skates, we'll buy a car."
***
comes a man with a boy in the barber shop.Trimmed himself, then says:
- you is my kid going to cut, I'll pop into the store.
Boy hair cut, and men are not.The boy asks:
- When your dad comes?
- This is not my dad.
- How so?
- And just this uncle to me on the street came over and said, boy, if you want free haircut?
***
University.Session.Reading room.A lot of people how to prepare.To one student comes another:
- Listen, and you're holding the book upside down!
- You Th, Freud, or what?
- And here Freud?
- This - the book!What are her legs?You still say that I look down her between pages ..!
***
- I am by nature - a philosopher, so I do not care that there are: caviar or black bread.
- But I look: you still eat caviar, but not bread.
- What's the difference?
***
Luba girl lying on the couch and looked lively foreign film.Dialogue on the screen was a witty and laid-back:
- What dream, my dear?
- I dream to fuck you, dear!
lying next to any mother laughed aloud.Smiled and Lyuba.At this point, my grandmother came into the room - a man of strict beliefs.
- sooner you watch these movies!- She said sternly.
Mom was embarrassed and left the room.Indeed, it was too early to watch these movies, because she was only 15. A Luba can watch it - it knocked a half months.Here's a little older - then it will be impossible.
***
- Okay, let's next.
- The drug from all diseases, seven letters?
- rope.
- Hmm ... Actually, this is a panacea, but I like your thinking.
***
Woman (slowly pronouncing a man of about thirty):
- Okay, you Pasha admitted as Ilyusha not.Let.You will come to them, one to give toys to play with him, and the second - is not present?
Man (dejectedly):
- Yes ...
Woman:
- Okay, I will leave aside the moral aspect.And even logic.But tell me, how are you going to distinguish between them?They're twins!
***
dog bitten by a passerby on the street.Anyone seeing porvanuyu clothes screaming hozyayainu dog:
- I demand compensation!
- Yes, without a market, man.I'll hold it, and you - bite!
***
Café comes to a man, for him there is a heron on the neck which hangs a wet cat.A man places an order, eats, asks the waiter for an account.That brings the score to 415 rubles, man, without looking, pokes his hand into his pocket and pulls out exactly 415 rubles.Well, the waiter surprised and asks:
- Tell me, how it is you got to get the exact amount and where all this Heron with a cat?
- You know, the other day I caught a goldfish, she said that if I let go of her, she will fulfill three of my wishes.I first put forth, that in my pocket each time the amount of money needed, and the second and third, so I was always accompanied by a leggy chick wet pussy.
***
- Alex, you can simply Alex.
- Akaki.Better completely.
***
- Vadik What to give?Man 20 years old soon.
- Watching what he's interested.
- foolishness he toils!
- Well, nonsense and bring him.
***
Here I think that I would take to the sea such that I went to the beach and everything would be stunned ?!
- Ski take.
***
If Cristiano Ronaldo breaks a leg on the ass Jennifer Lopez, the amount of insurance exceeds the total budget of Angola!
***
Yet condom does not give an absolute guarantee of safety, that Bob put on yesterday and got a minibus ...
***
- Mom, how to write: cocoa or cocoa ?!
- What do you write?
- Letter girl.
- What is it ?!
- Kakaishtykrasivaya ...
***
Online social networks:
- Hi!Where are you from?
- Hi!I from Russia.And you?
- I from France.
- Pizdish!
- Chestnoe slovo
