Where do I start my story?Perhaps I'll start from the beginning and tell you what prompted me 5 years ago to convert to Christianity, but to ponder the meaning of life, on the issues of who I am and what has come to this world, what is my mission on this earth, I became the year of 3 to itsbaptism.But let us all in order.
probably many things that I will tell you its history, seem fictional, invented.However, those who believe, who ever once in his life faced with a similar, will understand me.
So ... I grew up in a complete family with certain foundations, traditions, national mentality caused (I was born and live in the Caucasus, in South Ossetia).My grandparents on the paternal side considered themselves Muslims for life, even though the pope himself as such did not feel, he explained this by the fact that Islam took only a part of our family.We have never adhered to the religion.Mom I have a Christian.The question of whether to baptize children (our family of 4 children), the parents, such as not getting up.Even without being baptized, I rarely went to church, and you know, coming out of it, it is somehow happier.I thought I found it comforting, consolation.I tried to find the answer to the question "Why me?" What is "why?" I'll tell.
At some point I began to notice that all my dreams started to come true ... exactly like I saw!And nothing, except that dreams were not good: an accident or murder (in a word, they always present death).This was not only familiar with my people, but even with those whom I do not know, and never in my life seen.You may ask why I took that to these men came to pass that I saw in a dream?This is either printed in the newspapers or on the radio or on TV.You can not imagine how stressful it was for me.Every time I woke up and prayed to God to make it stop.But the dreams I saw to the end.
After some time I have, like, no longer see them.But ... I began to notice for a certain strangeness.In 2003, I killed a close friend (or rather he was killed).On the same day I went to their house and waited for him in his room.When I was told that he was taken, I went into the hallway and stood in the doorway, leaning against the wall.When plotted on a stretcher, he flew from a huge butterfly, so beautiful, fiery colors, and on the wings of two large black spots (I had at the time thought they were so similar to the eye).This butterfly, flying, and touched my forehead and sat on the corner of the eaves in his room.At this point I called out to a very old grandmother.She asked me: "Who are you to him?" I replied that we were friends.What grandmother said: "No, dear, it's more than friendship.You were more important to him, since his soul flew to you "(whenever reminded of her words, and tears poured from her eyes and trembling of the body).Here I was the girl that stood, straightened and asked, "Who are you talking about?" I told them: "Here with this grandmother."When I said the words, turned to show her there was nobody there.I have it and have not found.The girls have not even seen it.Tell me what it was ?!
Another oddity I noticed behind him, when he erected a monument.I came to him, leaned her head against the edge of the monument and began to cry.On the other end of the monument the figure began to speak, and tears once I calmed down, they had disappeared, as if they had never existed.But then I drove myself thinking that it's strange that it does not happen.I thought it was the pain, the emptiness that was left in me after his departure.
A few days later I called his mother and said, weeping bitterly, that someone was kissing his face on the monument, and the only she rubbed the traces of lipstick left after this, nothing helped.Though, says a new monument to order it.The next morning I went to the cemetery to see what kind of stains.It was warm.Sun was shining.I sat next to the monument, and touched his face on his face, and the tears gushed from my eyes stream.At that moment I saw his mom and became quickly wiped his tears with his hand on his face.When she came up to me, he hugged me and asked what I was able to scrub the stains ?!I did not even notice they were gone.My answer was: "Tears."
That's when I began to think about the fact that not all so simple in life that each of us has its purpose, its burden of life.But again the question of religion arose in my mind is ... While in my dream did not come to Jesus.He came down from heaven to me, on either side of us were tall trees, it was very nice.Jesus asked me to save his daughter, telling me where she is.He blessed me and disappeared into the sky.I complied with his request (I distinctly remember this girl, 14 years old, with black hair).She was in my arms, and I try to be as fast as possible again on the same spot where we had seen.I remember that 3 men in every way I let it go, I knew that they were bad, non-believers, they were all in black, people could not see.But I still got into the grove.Jesus was again in front of me, and I told him that I did what he asked me.I felt behind him the shadow of the 3.Jesus took my hand, thanked and blessed, and held his hand on my right hand.He then disappeared again.When I woke up, the first question that came to my mind was "What daughter?He did not have children ?! "Only after some time after I got up, I realized that in fact we are all His children and the girl (his daughter), one of us!But more surprising to me was that on my right hand, which he touched, blessed me, there was a sign.I'm so there is a birthmark, and it appeared the light icon (still do not understand what it means? Whether it is a letter, or something else?)
It was after this dream, I began to think about the baptism, that Jesus it is no accident I came in a dream it is to me.However, the idea remained just a thought until one day, after 2-3 years, I realized that it was time.And here was not without its oddities.I asked my aunt found in the church about my baptism.My father told me that I will need to come on this day!What day?08.08.08!The sign of infinity ... Many, certainly, say that I bother at all this.It passed since my baptism for 5 years.I do not say that often go to church, pray (it is clear that there is nothing to brag about).
But this, I fear, find my religion I'm just starting ...
Some time ago (maybe 3-4 months), I became very interested in Islam.Why do I then accepted Christianity, not Islam?At that time I was wrong, a somewhat distorted view of Islam, like most people.Now I know for sure!And then in Russia for some reason it was always recognized Christianity and Islam were treated and continue to be treated very cautiously (although this is a misconception !!!) So then I did not get up the question, what religion to adhere to.So I became interested in this religion - Islam.Started reading the Koran, and you know, the more I read of Sur, the greater was the acceptance of those writings that revealed to us, and to understand that here it is the truth!I looked through a lot of movies where people talk about why they accepted Islam, which prompted them to do so, I read a lot of stories about it.It's kind of an attempt to understand themselves, their interest in the religion.Can someone feels the same as me ?!Can someone help me find the history of the answer to this question.
There is another reason why I am interested in Islam.In May, I met a man from the past.10 years ago I met him, but due to a confluence of certain circumstances, he soon left to his homeland - in Chechnya (yes, as you already understood, it is a Chechen, and therefore Muslim).You know, now 3 months since we are together, and I thank God every day for him.This year, God willing, we'd get married.However, some problems arise.Firstly, I have to say the Shahada (to Islam).And is not it frightens me, and the thought of that, and all of a sudden can not handle, mix up anything, forget it?This issue should be approached with great responsibility!Of course, I will make every effort to achieve this and to avoid punctures.Secondly, I worry about how I will take his family ?!I'm originally not a Muslim!Yes, let me accept Islam, but I still so little about it know how to deal with them, what to do ?!Of course I was very scared.Plus the fact that I am older than 4 years.I am very worried that they will not accept me, and to come between him and his family, I will not.I do not want them because I spoil the relationship, because there is nothing closer to family.It calms me down, he says that they will understand and that he would help me, tell me what and how he loved me all these 10 years, and his attempt to create a family failed.He has has one marriage.They have long been divorced, but no, no talking, because they have two sons.I do not know the children personally, but you know, I think that I already love.And how can I not love the children of man, to whom cherish strong feelings with which I want to connect my life, to create a strong family, have children ?!Third, of course, I am concerned about the reaction of my parents going to get married to a Chechen, and even accept Islam ?!Sure that I was not on the head pat!I think many have just listen.Oh, Mom ... While I, of course, not talking to anyone do not tell, except his sister (she of course was, to put it mildly, surprised, but kind of, supported, said it was my choice, and if I have confidence in him,it with me).In our favor, even the fact that he does not plan to live in Chechnya.He is about 2 years already live in Moscow.
In general, these thoughts and fears I myself complicate life.But do not think about it, unfortunately I did not get.Maybe someone has a similar story and you tell me what you can find a way out of this situation ?!
I'll be back to the reason that I'm writing all this.So I baptized, but I had so much doubt as to whether I have acted by adopting Christianity, not hurried there, because in fact, I am about this religion do not know much on this day, and, unlike Islam, ChristianityI was not interested in (anyone not want to offend those words, I respect all religions, just find yourself alone in Christianity, others - in Islam, and others - in Buddhism, and so on).Will not my part betrayal acceptance of another religion?Not so long ago, three weeks ago, I wanted to go to Grozny and go to the mosque, they were thought to Islam.But it is not desirable, as then, almost without knowing anything about the faith to accept it.This is a very important step!This issue should be approached carefully, without haste.A friend advised me to go to our mosque.He says, I immediately understand me or not.Only feel this atmosphere, it will be possible to make certain conclusions.I think a conversation with Mullah could explain to me a lot, as long as that in my head more questions than answers.But here's the catch: I was vain - to a Christian?A friend said that no problems with it, and it is the first time she went there, not being a Muslim.On the Internet who say, let, who writes that non-Muslims can not enter the mosque.In general, I did not understand, it is possible or not.I hope someone from you dispel my doubts.
I would like to come back to the question of the attitude of most people to Islam and wish them to change their misconception about it.How I did it.Although I have never been an opponent of the religion.You can not judge something with someone, unfortunately, frequently distorted words, stories.Each of us has God given a head to think, eyes to see, ears to hear!There is no need to make hasty conclusions, without knowing the essence!According to some representatives of the silt that nation can not judge the whole!The same applies to religion!Those who himself was wounded in the chest and called Muslims, but at the same time entered into various gangs and kill people (as you know, we are talking about terrorists), and hundredth of are not!The Koran is not a word - a call to murder, bloodshed, and war!This Scripture calls only for the good, love, tolerance to each other, compassion and mutual aid!I did not need and do not call and even more so do not force, but I would advise you to at least of interest, curiosity (as if it did not sound rude) to read the Quran.You yourself then all will understand.How good, and knowledge about bears this Scripture.You will get answers to many, if not all, of your questions.Definitely!
As for me personally, I do not know when it was my time and I will utter Shahada (accept Islam), but it seems to me that I was close to it.We need a little more time in order to finally understand the religion and take it for themselves, the missing responses to collect all the puzzle to the end.I believe that I will succeed!
Yes, God help us all!
