like a young man, but you're worried that will tell your girlfriend about it?Always wanted to be a painter, but her parents have convinced you that the economics profession for the future?"I fall in love" in her purse on a store window, but you know that your colleague can not tolerate this style and do not have to buy?If you are so worried that you will not understand, does not endorse, condemn it affects your decisions and hinders the realization of desires - you are too dependent on public opinion.With this urgent need to do something!
each of us to a greater or lesser extent dependent on the opinions of others.As a child, we often try to justify the hopes placed on us by parents - they dictate what decisions are correct and which are not.Later, when we are old enough to have their own opinion and the ability to argue, however, making any actions, we subconsciously figure out how they react around.Can I learn to make their own decisions, to live for yourself, not for a pattern imposed by society or even by people whose opinion authoritatively for us?
Why are we?
reasons of conformism as insecurity rooted in childhood.Many of us in the kindergarten age were asked our opinion?Hardly there are, the parents decide for us what we wear, what to watch on TV, where and with whom to spend time.The next step in the formation of conformism is the impact of children's groups, where disagreement to be like all punishable boycott.In adolescence, when a man allegedly tried to win the right to own point of view, his actions rather aimed at to obtain the approval of more mature and "cool" friends.We are used to indicate to us as the "right"!
By the time we become adults, most of us have clearly emerged in the minds of the scheme: to be "good" need to do so to gain the approval of those whose opinion we have authority.The fear that we have "stop loving", if to do anything against the wishes of the majority and is the main reason according to the opinions of others.
Free!
very important to understand that the most important person in your life, to believe that you want to listen to and admiration which seek - is you!Learn to appreciate their own opinions, to put their desires above approval or disapproval from others, you will be really happy!A few tips to help you do this:
• Work on self-esteem.
main reason that our desires and needs, and even our own "I" in comparison with others seems less important and unimportant - in low self-esteem.You just need to love yourself.After all, you probably have a lot of talent and achievements.Feeling self-doubt, remember all your victories, re-living feelings that experienced, having managed to achieve something worthwhile.
• express their opinion first.
This can be a great exercise, so you will be able to work out, not only to form their own judgments on any issue, but also to defend their positions.Start simple - seeing a new movie or reading a book, tell your friends about their experiences and offer to debate.This simple exercise will allow you to understand that even if your opinion does not coincide with the point of view of the majority, this does not affect the attitude towards you as a person.Learn to defend its own position - argues why you think so, and not otherwise.You will see, nothing terrible will happen, on the contrary - to defend their point of view, you will immediately feel a lot stronger and more confident.
• Learn to say "no."
refused if the request runs counter to your interests or plans.If you can not immediately understand in itself, do not be afraid to take a break and to weigh the "pros" and "cons" in a relaxed atmosphere.Do not let the pressure to provide, understand what you want for you.Over time, you learn to hear their "I" and make decisions will be much easier.
• Define your goals.
Once you prioritize and understand what you want to achieve in life, you will be much easier to determine whether the bear some important information for you, advising the people around you.Which of the opinions it makes sense to listen, and which run counter to your own plans, and therefore it is not necessary to take them into account.
• Do not go to extremes.
to stop other people's principles influence your life, does not necessarily become a nonconformist, vehemently denied any social norms.To be free to choose and judgments such extreme measures is not mandatory.
• Find like-minded people.
man is social and absolute "nihilists" not much, but you do not need to become one of them is sufficient to ensure that the opinions of others would not hurt you to go your own way.Often, people confidently pronouncing "I do not care what they say around" in fact have a lot of like-minded people that support their life principles.Do not try to fight or on the contrary, to adjust to someone else's position.To meet people who have similar goals, tastes, interests, you will become more respectful of their own choice.
• Do not be afraid of criticism and disapproval.
Just understand that it is impossible to please absolutely everyone.And why do you need it?
• Feel your uniqueness.
Understand, finally, you - unique!You - the person and the right to have their own desires and preferences, even if they are radically different from the ideology of life of the people you appreciate and respect.Imagine for a moment how boring it would be to live in a society where everyone think and act according to the same pattern.Differences of opinion on some issues will not prevent you respect the other person and take his position.Likewise, your own principles did not need to change the attitude of people close to you, unless they are used to manipulate you in everything, imposing their own opinions.
once felt free, you have nothing on those feelings exchanged.Do not be afraid to be yourself - it only depends on us, how happy, full and colorful life we live!
Articles Source: resnichka.ru
