In today's world the concept of "right" and "no" is often associated with violence against themselves, and violence against them, in turn, is associated with something bad.Accordingly, he had the idea that "must" and "can not" - is poorly understood and should be avoided.However, the problem lies in the fact that human behavior, denying "must" and "can not" is simply not working.
hostility to the concepts of "right" and "no" usually occurs in childhood.When parents teach us what to do and what not to do in life - is, of course, a certain control over us.Not everyone likes what they run, even if it is for him.So when we come out of childhood, there is a great temptation to opt out of the concepts related to the management.
But this approach is flawed.The fact that the concept of "right" and "no" were invented for a reason - they were invented to make our higher needs won the lowest.To the need to work productively and earn money overcame the need to read a book or play with toys.To the need to become strong and healthy overcome the need to sit or lie relaxed.To need to communicate with people and start a relationship with the opposite sex has overcome the need not to pay attention to the appearance and behavior as horrible.
And to distinguish the first, primitive desire of the second, the higher necessities - were introduced the concept of "need" and "impossible."These concepts are different, for example, from the "I want" or "I'm afraid," because they do not speak about the short-term desires and fears, and of distant view and useful limits.
And, most interestingly, life is arranged so that no "must" and "can not" is not possible to satisfy their "want" and "do not want to."After all, to achieve the desired, must first make unwanted but necessary.And in order to avoid undesirable, it is necessary to give the desired, but harmful.The path to any desired targets almost never comes only through the efforts of a pleasant - but even unpleasant efforts are still needed.Because otherwise we will not achieve the desired at all ever.
rejection of the notion "necessary" and "impossible" - is, in fact, normal infantilism.This refusal to accept reality as it is.This refusal to recognize that life can not consist only of the primitive pleasures.This is the way to a state of helpless children.
In contrast, the ability to use the terms "must" and "can not" - this is the way to adulthood.Moreover, apparently, it is the only way to adulthood.Others simply do not.It is this different from adults and children.That is why these concepts like adults, and children - and do not understand hate.
So if you want to become an adult, complete human being, if you want to achieve difficult goals if you do not want to get stuck in a child - start using the concept of "need" and "impossible."Start doing what is necessary.Begin did not do what is impossible.And you will see: your life will become more difficult, more difficult, but at the same time - much better.
Articles Source: shkolazhizni.ru