When a person sharply reacting to other people's mistakes - it destroys relationships with other people, when a man leaves no room for error the other - the people around him are closed and secretive.Most often we do each other any remarks are not out of a sense of compassion for a loved one, and when we have a skin irritation or resentment.If a comment is really motivated by love, the voice will be visible kindness and humility, but irritation and rudeness.Love begets love, and even a hidden hatred always breeds hatred.
no freedom - no relationship
Everyone wants to be free, and even tying the knot, he continues to desire to remain free, which is to take man as he is.Yes, a family man, of course, binds itself to certain restrictions, and does not allow himself anything he wants, but he will never be tolerated if it will press and express his address constant accusations and complaints when he does something wrongor when required by a change in the nature.
When a person sees a similar attitude to himself, he could not help having the idea that it does not appreciate, do not like and do not accept.And in this case, a person will never be dancing to the tune of others, but when a person is trying to fix the power, it is now the violence.
That pressure people not inclined to be corrected in his character for the better, and when it is treated with love, just take care of it and carry out their duties of husband / wife and do not require changes, in this case, there is every chance,that human behavior will begin to change according to your desires.
As a rule, people are sincerely convinced that criticism - is the main tool in correcting the behavior of other people, not thinking what it leaves wounds, and sometimes not even noticing that the usual criticism has the opposite effect.
«should refrain from any conversation in a critical, albeit benevolent remarks: to offend people - easy to fix it is - it is difficult, if not impossible", - said Arthur Schopenhauer.
why a person begins to ask other people for change - many convince themselves and others that they try for the sake of the most criticized people.In principle, it is true as a general rule, comments with respect to the surrounding valid, and that, following the advice of those who are detained, a person's behavior will benefit others.
But whom first thinking person who criticizes others about some people question - about himself, his behavior is the most loved one and do not like it, it brings him the most concern.In accordance with the above, one is tempted to conclude that when a man teaches other people, first of all it is driven by the idea to protect yourself from suffering, and changing behavior of other people is only a means to achieve this goal.
successful marriage
- What is a successful marriage - asked once a pupil from the teacher - is when a man comfortable in the house, well, his wife and he does not dream of freedom?
- No, - a happy marriage - is when they cozy in the house, well with each other, and they are free!
talk about mistakes made in our lives.Just as there is no relationship in which there would be no conflict, and there are no people who would not commit mistakes.We can only put up with it, and our task is to develop the right attitude.Marcus Aurelius said: "If you can not change the circumstances, change your attitude towards them."
We are not holy men, but if we have the least share of reasonableness, we must learn how to properly resolve family conflicts and how to deal with errors close people to people not angry at us and would hear us, understandand would change their behavior for the better.
«The right to expose people to the most severe criticism deserves one who convinced them of his love for them," - said Mahatma Gandhi.
Nature criticism
Most people do not leave the freedom to make mistakes, that is immediately snapped up at the man with reproaches, and his homilies, describing how he had a "good" person.This occurs for several reasons, and the problem is usually at the man who so zealously responding to what is happening.
One explanation - it's his inner world, when a person is unhappy and filled solely by the claims and grievances, what he will be able to share with others - just the fact that he had inside.We can see that when a person is happy and satisfied with everything, then bring him out of balance is much more difficult when he is tense or in dissatisfaction with the state, then it simply can not not react strongly to what is happening.
At this time, any little thing can bring a person out of balance, in this state, he can neither tolerate nor forgive.
«condemning, we will not help anyone.Man helping only love.If you want to say something to a person, say it with love.If there is no love, then it is better to remain silent and not to talk about his shortcomings, "- said Oleg Torsunov.
If a person has problems in its relations with the very man whom he criticizes, it starts simply to take revenge, it becomes very pridiristym and tries to criticize on every occasion, and everything just to enter a person in the same broken stateas his own.
In such a relationship, each making fun of each other, escalate the situation more and more.And not having the strength to change their behavior for the better, thinking what else should take the first step to a meeting, a family fall apart one by one.The man is the path of least resistance, and in this case is much easier to criticize than to tolerate or forgive.
«We have no more right to enjoy happiness without making others happy than to enjoy wealth without working for it," - said Bernard Shaw.
But the question here is not about when a person becomes a gray mouse, which sit on the neck.We are talking about people with a strong personality that can not dump all the blame on others, who instead continue to live in misery and unhappiness, take their lives into their own hands and begin to force directed to change its own character and behavior, in the end,become happy themselves and oschastlivlivaya others.
Weak same people are trying to change only their environment, torturing them, continuing to ruin both their lives and the lives of people around them, without regard for the correction of their own behavior.
«Most people are as happy as they decide to be happy," - said Abraham Lincoln.
Who needs to change?
disciple who constantly criticized of all, the master said:
- If you are looking for perfection, strive to change ourselves, not others.Easier to wear sandals than carpet covering the entire earth.
When a man puts some principles of human relations above, when a person is not able to easily and naturally treated to commit errors on the part of others, then there is the collapse of most of these relationships.
What happens in these families, that person all the teaching about someone makes a mistake and rushed criticism - what are you, stupid or something, what are you doing, but who does that, I tell you how many times have said, to think his head should be, andmuch, much more.
What does a man - I teach them how to live, he sincerely believes in his innocence.Yes, like the man is pointing the mistakes of others, he wants to help, but in a tone usually it's all presented - in a negative, irritable and abusive.
«We can not belittle the man, without diminishing with it" - Booker T. Washington said.
Here you stand at the stove, for example, and your mother fits and starts to teach you - this is not what it is not, but who taught you to cook, and climbs steadily with their advice - and who is like.And at this moment, and the same can not be said that the mother in this case the right - the daughter of a provoked such criticism, and any desire to finish cooking just disappears.That is a result of a birth injury to the mother, resulting in a bad mood, and even the awareness of his unworthiness, his hands just dropped.
The question is, is it appropriate to such remarks in a relationship that only foment hatred between relatives, and even kill the faith in their own strength.But the man who criticizes unfortunately often does not notice that he does wrong, he thinks he is right and others are just stupid.
«opinions that we express to others, indicate that we ourselves are a" - Arturo Graf said.
First of all, it shows people that criticize the other person - superiority over others, that he is more knowledgeable in a particular issue, he understands better, and those others worse.How a man behaves - it just degrades another, saying, for example: "Who does that, well, just look at him," and at this moment he feels a sense of their importance, I can even say greatness.
Yes, it's called a humiliation, not no any desire to help others, while another makes a mistake.Often fueled by people like that - he mocked you and tries to tell everyone about his mistake: "And do you imagine that my husband did, but he does not think at all."Such a person just shows how much he supposedly intelligent, and so climb to where he was not asked to, commands at every opportunity, puts their observations and comments wherever possible.This is called nothing but bigotry - a man filled with pride, strongly holding on to some ideas, and does not tolerate when others do wrong.
what to do with the pride of a man - it binds it narrows the scope in which it is able to feel comfortable.And when someone goes against world-such a person, he simply can not stand it, because it causes pain, so it immediately translates into criticism and accusations.
There are situations when you are with someone talking easily and naturally, and that one person says something that you do is a protest, you shackles, and you think to yourself, "Well, he's wrong,he may think so, "and you will not hear the interlocutor, even when he could not give much importance to these words, and continues to talk further.
This means that you feel a strong attachment to their ideas, which must be fought, or are you just afraid of what your beliefs may be wrong, and so you begin to prove the other person and yourself first of all, that he is wrongI am wanting to have the last word.When you are not able to allow people to stay at their point of view, it makes it difficult to live as you yourself and others.
«The secret of happiness is to lower their expectations", - said Charles Manga.
Or do you sometimes say, do not do so and so, and you did not listen, and poured it sideways - so you also then a hundred times this recall: "Well, I told you so," and each time repeating the words,a man filled with pride, considering themselves very important.
why one can not say it once, because every time, humiliating the other, it is fueled by negative energy, he poured it and feels a certain satisfaction - and all because he does not know what real happiness is becausehe is unhappy and require it from others.From time to time, repeating the words, man destroys relationships, killing the love and respect in our hearts and the hearts of others.
«As a rule, we do not notice how close we put all kinds of insults.Moreover, we think it insults inflicted on fair comment, which in our opinion, will certainly help to correct a loved one, "- said Oleg Torsunov.
Articles Source: psylive.ru
