"Ah, what bliss - to know that I am perfect, I know that I am the ideal" - remember?But if you have a great nanny Mary Poppins is causing delight, many of feel that this perfectionism on yourself, are not able to enjoy this.In general, this phenomenon can be defined as the desire to achieve an unrealistic, extremely high demands on themselves, which in case of failure can lead to low self-esteem.Psychologists are trying to answer the question of what is perfectionism often see it as a key success factor, which is often, however, it causes emotional distress and nervous breakdowns.
predisposition plays an important role.Perfectionists are primarily children of the same parents striving for perfection.In addition, those who did not receive love from their parents unconditionally, have to constantly earn it.
desire to be the best in everything you do causes a constant dissatisfaction with the results.Perfectionists learn from childhood that they are measured only on the basis of what they have achieved.This belief leads to a constant search for the approval of others by achieving difficult goals.Their self-esteem comes from within.Thus, they are extremely vulnerable to all forms of criticism, because they want to, first of all, to be loved and accepted.
So, what is perfectionism?In a simple, primitive form of this property appears in childhood in an effort to be "the most beautiful, the newest, most complex," the things that were jealous classmates.And, alas, too often, these desires are stimulated by their parents.Are rooted more deeply, this property of the individual develops into a desire to be first in everything, the best.
later the answer to the question of what perfectionism, is on a quest to grasp the immensity, for example, become the "perfect mother", which has successfully made a career while taking care of the children and her husband, pulling on all the household.Forms commitment to the ideal can be very diverse: from the desire to ride on steep foreign car itself to a relentless struggle for the title of "Best Manager" and the like.
Perfectionists are very demanding and for their children and partners.These features make them difficult character to create a harmonious relationship.How to get rid of it?Perhaps one is not enough awareness of the problem, will have to resort to the help of a therapist.To determine the seriousness of the situation, using specific tests, such as "multi-dimensional scale of perfectionism."By this method revealed the levels of anxiety, anxiety, attitude to criticism and doubts when making decisions.
Diagnosis: perfectionism.How to get rid of this condition?
First, try to set goals according to your needs, think what you want, and do not follow what others expect of you.
Secondly, put the next target only after the previous one.Method small steps in the case of fire.
Third, try to lower their standards: instead of doing the job at 100%, try to do something for 80 or even 70%.This will help you understand what is worse executed task does not mean end of the world and does not affect your status in the eyes of others.Focus on the "here and now", do not get ahead of ourselves.
