Office vermin

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Merry classification of spirits and creatures that, perhaps, inhabit and your office?

Bonusnik - petty demon, causing the employee for days to count themselves bonuses, premiums, interest.It is usually lined with a calculator and a sign for calculation.Sometimes bonusnik reduces human mind over the last month or two.To cure the person affected bonusnikom used a decoction of the series, a cold compress on her lip and on freelance translation.

VIY (always looking yo * otni) - Particularly active subspecies small head.I can not see anything in general, but if you will see some detail, then burn up completely.When VIY not in the spirit, then nothing can hide in front of his eyes terrible: his eyes Wii kills people, destroys and turns to ashes departments and even entire departments.Often Starts in the financial service.

Vsevechny starlets - Demon nomad.A blind eye colleagues.Fortunately it does not stay anywhere for a long time.Unfortunately - consuming effort.The best remedy for it - take a vacation.

Vsepla - Under the rule of the evil managerial spirit are all the people in the department.Above Vsepla usually not taken.Vseply main feature - the ability to see bad everywhere, erroneous and nasty.It is said that eating vsepla eating the faint of heart.Therefore, employees are trying to appease the spirits, that he would not harm them at work.Favorite game vseply churn employees confused, confuse them.If "Vsepla will pass" man, the traveler suddenly lost their way and can "get lost in broad daylight."The only way to dispel the daze Vseply - go to training or Zarplatomer.In addition, this spirit loves terrible voice screaming and whistling, scaring the people.If
office zavedutsya Vseply two, between them is sure to be a struggle, proof of which will be felled cabinets and frightened employees.This two Vseply from different companies, as a rule, get along very well.

Kulernoy (aka smoking).Young male spirit, always with a hangover.Because lives are usually the cooler.Any benefit or any harm to work from it is usually not.But kulernoy loves guard at the watering girls.They usually he beckons talk of chic night life and drags on a cigarette break.Addressing kulernomu usually say the spell: "Laziness potyagota Come on Fedotov Fedotov with Jacob, and Jacob in the vsyakago.Take the cooler as the Bityug from tricksters. "Then kulernoy conscience and usually takes a couple of sick days.

Kursaal - (from "chicken, pheasant imagine themselves", fr.).Evil Spirit small manner.Usually recruited from among not desperate housewives.Most often, an old friend, sometimes someone's relative.Danger Kursaal in a rare combination of brains and hen pheasants napyshennosti.Zavedshiysya Kursaal quickly alienate others and swells with pride.Ways to discourage Kursaal know only two: the fire that is difficult to manage and deliver PR-ohm.

Office - the most famous and mysterious evil subspecies office.If you loved the company office, it warns of bad luck, watches scanner and printer;Otherwise, sends spam and shakes porn network, screaming, stomping, and so forth. The one who loves, clean the mouse and open the "Classmates", but someone does not like the night Aysikyu demolish or change the system password.It is said that he does not like jackets, lamer, as well as those who are sitting at work longer than eight hours.
sometimes hear him sitting on the director's chair, engaged in work on the computer, in the meantime, as the results are not visible.The common people had respect for the office.They are afraid of him than any insult and even shuns pronounce his name without purpose.The conversation did not call it an office, and "our Cees."
When you move from one office to another, be sure to consider the responsibility of the last night, before leaving the old office, to inform the office that urgently need to set up the network, the Internet, the PBX system and video surveillance.Traffic every office, in their opinion, is under the influence of office.

Opazdysh - petty demon, the villagers sometimes weak-willed people.Opazdysh makes normal-looking people are constantly late.How to come to work, and with the delivery of the project.Opazdysh absolutely not afraid of the deadline and less sensitive to fines.Lime can try it this way.Afflicted with a devil in the gathering of people derive a white hands on the threshold, put his back to the east, and even better person to come out and say: "Run-Run serger at adzhende to the east, across the field, through the woods, to the region budget without ..." afterwhich address labor committee draw up backdated three truancy and bye-bye.

Ohuzh - demon-zhalobnik. Lives aspirated with him and works well.The work may be, by the way, is very diligent, though not successful.Settled Ohuzh plagues the entire office with complaints and suffering.It feeds on attention and sympathy.It is said that if you stay with Ohuzhem in the office for a day, you will certainly die of boredom.Experienced people are advised to discourage Ohuzha middle of his laments loudly and clearly sing "I love you life, which in itself is not new."At these words Ohuzh usually removed from the scene and shivering creeps into the other end of the office and whines uzhk there.Most known for its can only regular teambuilding.

Posvistun robber - evil spirits, only a terrible founders.Plant disguised as a responsible and "own in the board" guy / girls.Promises Mountain Gold, whistling a couple of months, and then disappear, after covering the project, also taking less cash.Remedy Posvistuna know a simple but effective.Ask him to write a business plan and budget the costs of the formulas.As he disappears.

Ugodimora - is in the guise of women over forty with a great desire to please.In general, not malice that, but it is stupid and inactivity.A ferocious temper Ugodimory occurs only when you try to fire her.All obsequiousness with Ugdimory time flies, it gets scary witch look.Shouts and screams for hours.The only way to cope with Ugodimoroy - shout back.

target of modern storytellers and all other creators of folklore long ago had become as business and office centers.Because ...

... so much evil in any forest or archetypal Infernal tridesyatom kingdom was not found, as her office corridor pacing.And no, I do not zavskladom and accounting now have in mind.And the most natural monsters.These creatures everywhere, the day they hide under the carpet, and at night, when small classrooms and large Open Space (barely wrote this heresy) are empty and only a lone office desk creaked under the pressure of the friction in the sales manager's secretary, nedotykomka crawl from all cracks.This is for you, by the way, any night watchman confirm.I'm not lying, in short.

sortirny spirit

Spirit sortirny - it's not what you're thinking.No no.This is not a pain in the eyes and dizziness, occurring when using the toilet stall after the Director of Development.This little monster ethereal types of houses, but since the area of ​​its habitat rarely extends beyond the office toilet, a corresponding name.Well, not the house, he, in fact - what's the house?And, of course, not the office, we are all here quite a office - rat, in a sense.In general, he sortirny.Spirit.

Being a rather greedy.Its main fishing - it's a steal toilet paper at the exact moment when you, his eyes bulging, flew into the booth and plunk down on the toilet.Hop-pa, and paper-and no.Sortirny stolen.You embarrassed him fun.In addition, add sortirny loves working the night guards are constantly turning on the light in the toilet.Near the guards, however, err on the office workers - say, forget to turn off.But it is not.

Kradun-kleptomaniac

The fact that you can not leave the office table mate even chewing gum with fruit flavor, really, and children know.It disappears because.But do not just disappear.Kradun-kleptomaniac - a little hairy and immensely greedy creature that mimics a mop - sopret.He did all rushing.This is the meaning of his existence.Why - is unclear.Where to go - unknown.But rushing and rushing.Special passion felt for someone else chocolate sandwiches generally cooler and a packet of expensive imported from abroad berry tea.Sometimes I inclined to joke.For example, the chief of department svisnet particularly valuable scissors or box is absolutely necessary in multi-colored paper clips and put tochnehonko you on the table.Justifies then ...

Perevorachivatel bin

Well, this all is clear in principle.Small, nimble, like a rat.He lives near the plastic bins and shredders.Hobby - throw himself under a passing foot office worker so that he stumbled, knocked over a bucket on the carpet.Trades usually in the evening, when the bucket is already so full of leftovers from lunch, office, wet tea bags and manicured nails to the secretary and coffee Girl with a reception.Collect all hands - well, very disgusting, but necessary.A perevorachivatel at this time because of the cooler looks and laughs softly.Gad is!

Langoliers traffic

That bastard lives somewhere in the system unit of a personal computer.Previously, it was believed that he lived in a telephone wire to connect to the modem, but with the advent of leased lines and does not even wireless communication became apparent - not all so simple.Catch this little creature with a huge toothy mouth stays invisible.Probably not succeed.It feeds this kind of evil office exclusively online for hours.And the taste preferences of his original - prefers music videos and pornography.Langoliers conscience is absent as such, he does not care whose traffic eat.So when you - the humble servant who does not know any Internet addresses except Yandex - month-end accounting will roll out a bill for downloading a three-hour film "Corruption anal virgins-4", which you in the eye (or other body parts) have not seen, it is not necessaryprotest and wonder.Just say thank you Langoliers decided to have a snack "Coprophagia college-5."For this to work, and could expel.

tiny sweet tooth

Despite their microscopic size, reflected even in the title of the form, this office has the unprecedented power of evil.The strength of his lung.They suffer from it in the first place those who like to snack pie, without interrupting your workflow.In addition, the coffee and sweet tooth loves chaelyubov.It is necessary to bring to the keyboard sweet muffin or a cup of coffee with a sweet, both the gaps between the keys there is a suction air flow - it intrigues of a sweet tooth, use their powerful light.The strength of the flow is such that all the crumbs and drops immediately fly and always hammered at most desired key, for example by a space.By the way, sweet tooth when satiated, he begins to miss and can get to a computer mouse or mouse pad.And again, then the system administrator to explain where in the keyboard so much garbage, absolutely useless.He still does not believe you.

Beast from the air conditioner

Some bosses believe that the air conditioner - a completely unnecessary thing in the office.Subordinates usually very resent this.And for good reason.These bosses are absolutely and unequivocally wrong!Behemoth, elected as their home and at the same time target for mischief conditioner so terrible that he did not have a separate name.The purpose of his simple - never allow the air conditioner to behave according to the instructions.Whatever the manufacturer says this technique for its simplicity and ease of management of climatic systems of production, it's all a lie!Including heating when needed cool and freeze when in the office and so all his teeth chattering - is routine.My favorite trick monsters so that when the secretary comes to the unit to arrange the room gentle humid breeze, air conditioning is required to sneeze in her rouged face of loose dust.It is not the diamond though.This horror as unpleasant!

Spirit corporate

Here is necessary to digress.The only evil, which authorities believe - is the corporate spirit.Meanwhile, it is misleading.No corporate spirit there.It is a mass hallucination.Something like phantom pain, but many a time.Hallucinogens cause the illusion, the default part of the "clean" water cooler office.

Pushbutton elves

whole group of creatures that live in virtually all office equipment, deserves a separate association in the classification item.Talk about each subspecies separately it would be silly, since fishing they all have one.Press the button for you when you do not want.Well, you know, when you write a letter to a friend with the content of "Fuck ..., m ... to", and then select the destination, and then Elf puts in a millisecond tick the address of your head and sends a letter.Or when receiving the fax, and the elf again - and presses the endless copying.Cancel button while holding it inside, and it is not pressed, even with a hammer.Elven subspecies differ only in color keys in which they live.And so - all on one person.Yet, by the way, they are extremely mocking squeaked when you get a beating from the authorities after their antics.It seems like it's phone beeps, but you'll know who really is!

Photo source: androsov.com

Articles Source: infohom.ru