Nowadays divorce is not uncommon, and women often raise their children alone.But life goes on in the life of almost every second marriage divorced happens now nobody will be surprised stepfather in the family.
raise a child, especially if he is not home - not an easy task.Many of the men who became stepfathers, committed towards their stepchildren typical errors noted family psychologist.
errors that often make stepfathers:
1. The most common mistake - "I'm a good dad." stepfather often trying so hard to become a great father, that goes too far and misses a very important point: a good father not only allows everything, but knows how to prohibit and punish, even when it is needed.
2. Too rapid adoption of the role of the father.Newly pope often too quickly try to discipline children without first establishing trust relationships.This leads to distrust and disobedience that ultimately turns out to be an obstacle to mutual acceptance.
3. A very common mistake stepfathers - the rivalry with the biological father.
4. abasement advantages of the biological father. This - the worst mistake you can make with respect to the stepfather of his adopted child.Dad, even if his behavior is far from exemplary, the child will always be a dad.If the stepfather abuses and exposes the biological father in a bad light in the eyes of the child, it can cause psychological trauma to the child.
5. Ignoring the child. Very often, desperate to establish a good relationship with the child's stepfather begins to ignore it, hoping that relations will improve by themselves.It is a profound mistake.When this behavior stepfather discord in the family will only deepen.
6. Shifting the entire responsibility for the child to his mother.If stepfather does not feel confident in dealing with a child, it can shift the responsibility for it on his mother.This is a wrong decision: who is responsible - the main and the child and family relations should be partners and share responsibility must be with loved ones.
7. The ratio of the child as a supplement to his mother. child - is an individual, and this must be taken into consideration, building a relationship with a woman and her child from a previous marriage.If that person can not find a common language, it is likely, and the future of the marriage will be threatened.Therefore, you must try to understand and accept the child the woman he loved, referring to him as an individual.
Remember that no matter how hard it was in the beginning of a relationship, all the effort put into the search for mutual understanding in the end it pays off, when my mother, her husband and her mother's child will become, at last, a single entity - a real family, and stepfather children willat will call dad.
Articles Source: eva.ru
