We all at one time did not have enough support.Why is that?Because we wonder carefully (and sometimes in vain) seek it out, instead of detecting it within yourself.
support - is not so much encouraging shouts of "Come on, you all will turn out.I believe in you! "As the resolution on the" uncomfortable "feeling disapproved.
For example, your child hit another child.And I hit nonspecial.And your younger child.And your baby cry.Because the hurt and offended.And he roared, wail public: "Well, he's not on purpose.Look how small it is, he did not want. "
Resist.Unintentional and small age baby bump does not cancel the pain and resentment.Your child asks for pity him, hugged her, allow to feel the pain and resentment.Support him in this.Let him feel them rather than swallow the offender and a cute smile, holding back tears.
For example, you go to the clinic, and there is a child to be some medical procedures.And the kid says, "Mom, I'm afraid."What we, the adults, we know that it's not scary, it does not eliminate the fear of the baby.We are also very afraid of the unknown and uncertainty.And that's what frightens your child.Support him in this bay.Allow him to be afraid.Say what you will, too, be afraid in his place.Say what you will be close (say it only if you can keep the promise).This does not reduce the volume of the cries of the child during the procedure, but will allow him to love yourself even fearful.
For example, you are standing in a long queue, and your child "stands on the ears" or tortured you with their whining.He is tired and asks you for help.He's waiting on you, "You're tired, I see.Let's tell you (draw, read, play) ... "rather than" soon our turn! "," Just be patient, "" Now stop behave! "Etc.
For example, your child treated unfairly.We put a "three" instead of "five".And you know that it is unfair, and the child knows and it from this evil and shame.Support him in these feelings.He expects he'll "You offended and angry.It's really a shame.Let's see how we can remedy this situation ", instead of:" Do not worry.What are you upset about nothing? »
Child support hugs, kisses, eyes (with love), warm tone, the words," Yes, I see what you ... (sad, evil, hurt, scared, etc.) "I'm close, "" I'm with you "," How can I help you? "," Can you get angry (afraid, sad, etc.) »...
Child not support the lack of physical and visual contact, the phrase" HowShame on you, "" You have a large (th) "," You're a boy (girl), "Other kids have ..." "Now stop it," "It's okay," "It's nothing," "I found dueWhat upset, "etc.
Giving child support, we learn to notice and respect their own feelings, deal with them (read "with itself") carefully, to make themselves different.
Maybe teaching this child, we will be with yourself more careful?Take time for self-development!
Articles Source: shkolazhizni.ru