12 jokes

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on the exam on the right.

- Alas!- Says the instructor.- You have not surrendered.

- Yes, how could I pass it, even if I did not move?

- And how could you start, if you climbed into the back seat?

***

in a psychiatric hospital discharged patients for many years possessed a strange idea: he wanted to kill a police officer.

Commission Chairman:

- And what do you do first when we will release you from here?

He: - I'm seeking a most beautiful girl, marry her, and bring home put on the sofa, we contract with her panties and ...

Chairman: - Enough is enough, we have learned - you've become quite a normal person!He

: - No, no, let me finish!... We contract with her panties and pulled out their gum.Then I make a slingshot and kill cop!

***

The city Uryupinsk found steep scam.

last sixteen years, the city's group "The Beatles"!

And at full strength.

All seven girls!

rap This town has long been seen.

***

call at three o'clock:

- Hello!A Katyusha possible?

- Yes, b.., no question, "blossom apple and pear, Mist over the river"

***

Wow!How are you?

- very tired today ...

- What to do?

- run.Many ran.Jogging, running, and then cekc.

- we caught up with the same ...?

***

- Daddy, what more from Berdichev, Zhitomir, or moon!

- Sema, do not take mine down!Come to the window.You see the moon?

- I see.

- A Zhitomir?

***

When Goldfish saw Maxim Galkin, she said quietly:

"Go ... Go ... from your old woman already has everything!"

***

- Look at you, Abram!You're a loser!How many years do you live at my expense, in my apartment;I have not received a penny from you, feed you, dress, do all the washing, not to mention the fact that I sleep with you!

- Sarochka and you still call me a loser?

***

- sorry!I did not want to call you, but if your wife found my underwear in your car, it would be worse ... the way you found it?

- I found it yesterday.

- What you just said!

- What if it's not yours ???

***

Wife - husband:

- Where have you been?

- At the wedding Kohl ... You can not imagine how things get drunk!

- Well, why can not imagine ... Fatou take off.

***

- I sleep, tell me something nice for the night

- During his lifetime cushion to absorb several tons of liquid that evaporates from our skin.Ticks saprophytes living in it just arthropods 0.3 mm, causing the most severe forms of the allergy, and feed our skin with scales or mikrochastichkami blood that is on the feathers.An old feather pillow by 10% consists of the excrements of ticks.In 1 g of mattress dust live from 200 to 15 thousand ticks saprophytes, and a double bed of 500 million.Pleasant dreams.

***

- And what is this new Slavik in your contacts on your phone?I called back, and then a woman's voice!And how to understand this ?!

- It's very simple!There is the same fool grabbed the phone to listen to that for a new Sergei Slavik at the phone.

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