agree on an amicable way did not work, and the conflict can not be avoided.Or unspoken mutual claims interfere to improve relations with the loved one.The quarrel can help to dot the i, once and for all to discuss old grievances, correct mistakes and just understand each other better.Psychologists say - can and should quarrel, important to know how to do it right!
Before quarrel
If possible, it would be good to prepare in advance to a quarrel.In this case, a very good chance that instead of the dispute you get a constructive dialogue.
First you need to define the purpose of argument.Depending on what you want to achieve a result: the attention, understanding, or even break off relations?Before you meddle, it is good to be honest to yourself, why you need it.Clearly communicated to the opponent, what is the purpose of your call.Make a list of claims.
This should be done on a "cool head".Calmly think that could change in the behavior of your opponent, and how would you satisfy such a result.And ask the other side to consider the conflicting claims to you.So you may well turn out fruitful and useful dialogue for both of you, instead of the ugly scandal that is able to further aggravate the already difficult relations.
Analyze the occasion and the cause of the quarrel.By focusing on the situation that gave rise, you might as well not affect the underlying cause of the conflict, and it remains unresolved.Only to find and eliminate the cause, you can not go back to this conflict again and again.
During an argument
Do not change the subject argument - started to understand a situation, it is not necessary to remember all the cases in which the partner has ever stumbled.
If a conflict is brewing with a loved one, you probably know his weaknesses.Avoid hit by the patient himself, in order to avoid the emergence of new offenses.Moreover, it is not necessary during an argument use the information obtained from the partner "in confidence" in moments of intimacy.Humiliate opponent or exaggerating the facts - and prohibited methods.
not put ultimatums and do not allow themselves to be manipulated with them.
Learn how to formulate a claim quite well, avoiding insulting and offensive phrases and expressions.Insults and open accusations are unacceptable, if you want to extract from the conflict positive.It is better to express their dissatisfaction with anything, focusing on their own feelings, such as "offends me ..." "I get upset when you ...".Using this technique, you'll get where greater results than criticizing and transforming the individual.
makes specific and to the point.Forget generalizing phrases such as "You always ..." "You never ...".
Learn not only intelligibly communicate what you do not like the behavior of your opponent, but also to listen, and most importantly hear and receive the information, which he is trying to convey to you.
Never respond to the cry cry, otherwise the row will turn into ordinary squabble.Shouting recriminations, you stop hearing that it was trying to explain to you people.If your partner is on the verge of hysteria, try to behave as calmly as possible.Interrupts and unacceptable, it is not not speed up the process, let the person express their grievances.Arrange right away that everyone will have the opportunity to quietly express their views.
Tears may be a good way to manipulation, but not all cases, this method will work and will lead to the desired result, especially if you often resort to it.Surely you have already learn how to respond to your partner tears: shows sympathy or on the contrary - even more annoying.Be careful not to overdo it with tears, let it be your "spare progress."If
quarrel turns into a scandal and you feel that you start to lose control of himself and can tell a lot of excess, break or break a thing.Try to beat the dishes, for example, it should quickly sober you.It is better to destroy the thing, than the relationship.
Do not try to silence any results, this method will not, so you just shakes his partner nerves.If your silent partner, try to turn your attention to something else, it is not likely to receive a response your opponent he will speak to you.
no need to criticize and wait for that person all at once understands and will rise to "the path of correction."Proposed options that can suit both of you, because your opponent will at least understand what it is you are trying to achieve.Learn to compromise.
abruptly cut off the dialogue if the quarrel took place in front of witnesses.And they themselves never meddle in front of strangers.
not interrupt the quarrel leaving home.Unfinished conflict will not let you calm down, and still have to continue.So is it worth to stretch this dubious pleasure?
After a quarrel
first compromise is the most powerful and wise.We had the courage to take the first step forward - excellent.If your opponent has shown wisdom and he went to conciliation - do not push it, perhaps it was given to him is not easy.
If you are accused of arguments, admitted his guilt.Believe me, it disarms.Ozvuchte aloud Merit partner, it works more efficiently.
Let quarrel be a way to nullify the negative to one another, do not repeat the claims that have already been made sometime.
Do not sulk after a long quarrel endlessly induce guilt in a partner is still not succeed.Learn to forgive and to "let go" situation.
to quarrels in your absent excessive emotionality, it is not necessary to save the negative.There is a problem - talk, to understand the conclusions.
important to be able not only to quarrel, but to put up!Forgive offenses and to admit mistakes, to go to meet people who do not hold a grudge, to work on their shortcomings, to respect and try to understand others.Then quarrels in your life will be much less.
Articles Source: resnichka.ru
