Is there a "crisis of three years"?

Many young parents are aware of the so-called "crisis of three years", but not everyone knows the causes and characteristics of its origin.

At the age of about 2.5 - 3.5 years the child becomes aware of himself as an individual, with their desires and peculiarities.Change the position of the child, increases its independence and activity.

Suddenly there is a new word, "do not want", it starts quite common in the former angel dictionary.Kid often works the other way around: you call him and he runs away;ask to be careful, and he throws things specifically.

child screams, fights with her parents, stomping their feet.So the kid shows his persistence in achieving desired.But the ability to do more is not enough, because it is still very dependent on their mothers and fathers.

Faced with the crisis of three years, personally, young parents must be either completely revise its already established parenting style or keep the "cold war" with your child.

this crisis will soon pass, but something with which the kid will come after the crisis, whether it will be independent and be able to adapt to life there, whether there is a person with an active lifestyle, it depends to a large extent on the parents.

The main symptoms of the crisis three years:


mother with her daughter plans to visit his grandmother today:

- Nastya, the panties go quickly, go to the grandmother.

- No, I will not go, - Nastya petulantly throws his pants to the floor.

Mom is not going to conflict knowing Nasty temper:

- Well, then stay home with my dad, I'll go alone.

- Do not stay!

mom wonders what happens to her daughter, and her daughter starts to cry, throw things, arranges a tantrum.

actually a girl really wants to go to her grandmother, but she could not agree to this trip because it was my mother suggested it.

negativism - this is a reaction to the contents of the proposal are not adults, and the fact that it comes from adults, the desire to do the opposite, even against his own will.Compromise in this case is not found, the child will reject any proposal mom.

Many parents wonder how to act in such situations.

The best way: avoid direct references, allow the child to articulate what he needs to do, the child grows up, and it will only benefit if he learns to make decisions for themselves (with your submission, of course).

Mama could tell her daughter: "Nastya, Grandma invited us to her, I'm going to go, do not you?".Of course, the girl immediately ran to get dressed.


Dad and son are going on a long trip.

- I'm going on a bike - says the son.

- No, son, we're going too far, we will not be able to carry a still and a bicycle.

- Cycling!

- I mean, we go on the train, the conductor aunt does not allow us to take a bike, will have to give it to some other boys - trying to find understanding her son's father.

- I'm going on a bike!

It can last indefinitely, could lead to a tantrum, crying, because children in crisis insists on something, not because he wants to, but because he demanded.

Pope in this case it is necessary to gain more patience and not to argue on this issue.We must try to change the child's attention to the causes of stubbornness on to something else: "You can take his bear go, took out soon."Adjust the child's behavior unbeknownst to him.


Mom puts her son in kindergarten, in a hurry, late for work:

- Yes, what took you so long dress, let me put on your pants!

- I myself - very calmly answers the son.

- No, you do it for a long time!

mother dresses her son, the son resisted, crying.The result - the whole day spoiled the mood of the mother and son.

child Self-will is manifested in the fact that it seeks to do everything himself, because right now he is learning self-reliance and independence.But few parents get used to the idea, a few find the positive side, many only irritate it.

Really, how much time is lost before the kid himself dressed, it is better to do the most.

But this position is an adult only inhibits the initiative of the child and never teach kids the most to solve their problems.Think about whether or not to donate five minutes for that.

Changing the position of the child, increase independence and activism, require close adult timely adjustment.

If the new relationship with the child does not add up, his initiative is not encouraged, autonomy is constantly limited to, the child exacerbated the crisis, manifested in relationships with adults.

Some children have conflicts with parents are regular, as if they are constantly at war with adults.

At this age, a child should be given more independence, you can even provide an entire sphere of activity, where he could show independence (for example, to place makeup on the table).

Taking into account all these features of the child during the crisis, the crisis could go gently and imperceptibly, but if the parents are in the position of "want" (the position of permissiveness) or "no" (the position of prohibitions), the crisis could take a long time.

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