Someone who should love more: male or female?The dispute, give or receive love and it is necessary to measure its strength will probably be permanent.
begin with, that no one owes nothing to, especially in love.The need to love and be loved inherent nature, so by all means because we are committed to reciprocity.Know that you are loved, and you need someone - unlimited happiness.Feel like you just overwhelmed with the emotions of one of the existence of a loved one - unearthly pleasure.And love to weigh the scales on dubious "right" to compare with others, to measure, to drive into the standards - all these feelings are not conducive to manipulation and do not strengthen the relationship.
Oh, those crazy in love, so cute at the time of the first meeting, arguing over nothing and disputes they are so cute and harmless, "I love you very much" - "no, I do!" "I am strong" - "and I'm stronger".Do not become a laughing matter when one really - hard and fast, and the other - "Thank you, I am very pleased."
should be noted that in any environment there familiar pair with visible margin in the direction of someone from partners.In one pair of dominant lady love.She blows off dust particles, tries to please and to anticipate his thoughts and desires.He can graciously accept love, and sometimes uses his position with impunity, nagleya or manipulating.As antipode - illustration of a series of "little spoiled princess and her loyal henchman", where he has been at the hands of his chosen one, loves, praises, forgive weakness and indulge her whims.If no one suffers from such roles, then everyone is happy.But usually, like a splinter, somewhere deep seated thought: "I deserve more, I deserve special treatment."
Myths and Reality
From childhood on mothers, grandmothers and experienced friends can often be heard: "In a couple one loves, the other allows himself to love.The man must love more - when he loves, adores, he will not leave, do not change, do not betray such a union will be strong and durable.Who are less interested in a relationship, and that all power belongs to. "In adulthood, the usual installation of hard to see the real picture.Put up with them is difficult, even more difficult to root out, and the experience of failed romances and again tempted to think, "Maybe Mom was right."It is clear that the common myths have no basis.Rules have no love, everyone chooses their acceptable.But Beliefs firmly occupied and is not subject to derogation.
habit "give" - a kind of control over the situation.Choose the role of the victim, which is a convenient moment may be used in the heat of an argument, "I gave you so much, so much for you to do."The following is a detailed list of offerings thrown on the altar of "disinterested" love: spent the best years, poor health, lost opportunities.In other words, a partner cultivated a sense of guilt, and it prevails over the burden of responsibility.You can understand.Suggested-giving, invest, invest, and take for granted.Secretly and openly angry that you do not appreciate, they do not respect, openly used.But you have chosen a partner, and appropriate behavior.What good to her require special location if love can not be.If you give, voluntarily, to love - certainly not counting on the opposite impact.
Zinaida, 29 years old. «Love - it's just as good and pleasant as to be loved.I can not judge how much I love my husband.I know that there are a couple of our mutual respect and loyalty.A rush phrases someone who is stronger, or figure out in words, why?Stronger, weaker, as measured by love, as it is all to verify that the instruments are needed?For me, love is very important that it gives, which brings the fruit. "
Those who fear that the heart is broken, all the calculate in advance.Falling scary as self-control will be irretrievably lost and there is a chance to surrender to feelings entirely.Therefore, you prefer to take in a relationship, to accept love.The habit of "taking" - a way of protection.Choosing men whose feelings are superior to yours, so that you seek to protect their hearts from disappointments in the event of failure of the novel.Consumer ideology to take without giving anything in return - "and let me love" - is flawed at its core.Not only will use the man and his attitude.Someone is sure to argue, and if that someone lets you sit on his neck, his suits and he pleased?Are you sure he's happy and it does not threaten the future?
Maria, 27 years old. «relationship when a man loves me more than I did, for me, is preferable and safer.I know that in this case he would do everything for me, for my benefit, for our relations.It happens to me unearthly love.It ended banal break with broken crockery, telephones, the destruction of everything that once bound us.I do not want.Now, I appreciate the love of another person, but I prefer not to throw so feelings.We can not say that the use of human, correct - easily emote.Speakers observer, I am on the beach, the ocean is raging passion of love. "
In a normal pair as giver and taker alternate in equal proportions, it is called harmony.The desire to give comes from the heart, from the soul;take and receive with gratitude.It is necessary to appreciate the manifestations of selfless unconditional love.If you long to sit on the neck, or to give himself without reserve, all may end in failure.
Elena, 30 years old. «A man is known to be a hunter all his life he has to win his woman, and if she loves, what her interest?Unless a man mumbler and boring, then they will have a happy family.The happy pair partners with each other each time anew fall.It begins a period of candy, and then accumulates anger, recriminations, tension.Normal couple eventually resolves all conflicts.With age, these "new love" usually fall on a holiday or a new haircut wife.Here's my theory on that score. "
How to measure it?
The main indicator of the power of love - it acts."Love" - a verb.Small gestures, serious acts of caring, attention and participation - all of this is brought to the treasury relationships and ultimately helps in solving conflicts.Including the economy into the sphere of love relationships and present it from a material point of view.Let's say your relationship - a kind of bank, emotional checking account: everyone puts as much as it sees fit.The calculation above all - this is true.But if one loves another lets one invests and the other misses contributions, but uses the account permanently, nothing currently no denying it's legal offends ardent payer, and the desire to replenish the bank deposit is lost.
necessary to monitor the emotional balance together and regularly make "payment".A friend of mine likes to say: "It is never too much."I completely agree with his hypothesis, should be given as long as there attitude."It is only at first it seems that if I try to-grub, nested, the other party will get used to and appreciate unlearn my impulses.In fact, when I want to do something nice, to commit an act, or even something small for a loved one, do not delay, do health and pleasure above all myself. "
Articles Source: psylive.ru
