1. To teeth hurt only those who really need it;
2. To taxi drivers understand what you say when you're drunk;
3. To dreamed of fresh anecdotes;
4. To washing machine was able to deduce from the champagne stains from the ceiling;
5. To fancy new phones, TVs and players out once every 10 years - just at the end of the warranty period;
6. To socks, keys, purse and players responded to the whistle;
7. To traffic cop, you pass by them, always something in the eye fell;
8. For all romantic dinners always end with a romantic night;
9. For life astronauts on the International Space Station as the clock broadcast reality show.With SMS voting, "Now, dear viewers, today we decide to fix our heroes airlock hatch compartment of the AX-23, or if still so hung";
10. To the girl did not distinguish her lipstick on your collar from a stranger;
11. To the woman after sex was someone to talk to besides you;
12. To any of you fired the bullet always hit the bull's-eye, even if you just threw her hand from behind his back;
13. To the command "Sic!" Dogs instead thumbed snags bring you bills stuffed wallets and bottles misted beer;
14. To pass MOT been issued vehicles, which are found in the glove compartment cassette Russian chanson;
15. FIFA allowed Russia to play a part in doubled;
16. vegetarians allowed to eat meat;
17. To all those Turks, the French, the Spaniards and the Americans finally learned the Russian language;
18. To Internet search engines to any request issued only one answer, and the right;
19. To cushion the temperature was always below body temperature;
20. To a CD instead of group names and album wrote: "Like Nirvana, but harder.""Like Depeche Mode, but with the harp and it is not expensive."
21. To have had five ears and even one large bottom.Then there will be a shame that threw so much money to buy a home theater system;
22. So you can decide when to spend their time.For example, it was easy to escape from life hour profukali queue to the dentist, to add on to it tomorrow morning and sleep late;
23. To the woman could become pregnant from you only if during sex you loudly sang the "Marseillaise";
24. To all the bullies who are asked to smoke in a dark alley, were cowardly dystrophies with the coordination of movements;
25. To every woman was a mystery, but not as usual - crossword;
26. To cure depression once alone with the phrase: "Sucks me that today.";
27. To the Kremlin, instead of the president and ministers lived a giant 40-foot raccoon, which drum censorship, kickbacks and the vertical of power, and that is;
28. To peak hours all the people and the cars became ten times less.So it would have solved the problem of traffic jams on the streets and the crush in public transport;
29. To carried the pizza cute unmarried girls with a gay character, loving Hemengueya and quoting "Monty Python";
30. To those floods forums and blogs pictures of kittens, abducted by aliens for vivisection;
31. receding hairline have become an important part of male sexuality;
32. To horror movies are scary, romantic comedies - funny and erotic films - pornographic;
33. To top cognac vodka, beat the smell of fume;
34. To talk in movie theaters during the session, could only be deaf;
35. To set the phone left unattended in the office, and then for a long time, and contrary to the caller, who had returned to the owner bit off at least one ear;
36. That after fights, car accidents and other feats of courage you look like Brad Pitt in "Fight Club" and not on the Piggy surviving a collision with a train;
37. To hangover treated as a real disease: you would all sympathize with the doctors discharged to Newsletter, and relatives and friends excitedly ran to the pharmacy for free beer;
38. To the girls who come to the beach, undress slowly dancing.And of course the music.And be sure to fully;
39. To include cockroaches wound prophet preached to chastity and continence.And he was so convincing that all cockroaches have believed him and eventually disappeared from the face of the earth;
40. For tea bags from the store and the dumplings were delicious present;
41. To all the girls were unsympathetic and stupid at the same time.And vice versa.In order not to suffer the problem of choice;
42. In order to remove the stubble was enough for three seconds to look at himself in the mirror with a ferocious expression.Then bristles fearfully climbed back to the skin;
43. To one smoked cigarette prolong life for five minutes;
44. To all the girls coming to a nightclub in the morning, just in case sick amnesia;
45. For the morning after drinking a headache is not you, and have your twin from a parallel universe;
46. For new clothes appeared on the body somewhere squeezed somewhere expanded somewhere lengthened and five minutes later was sitting perfectly;
47. To the girl thought: remember the day of your meeting - a bad omen, as the wedding day.So she said, "Honey, just in any case do not remember what day it is!ยป
48. For as a greeting was made to touch the woman's breasts;
49. To proctologist can diagnose and treat the illness of his profile, looking into the eyes of patients.Only the eye.Well, or massaging their biceps in severe cases;
50. To free explanations in English was enough to from time to time to insert it into the definite article the;
Articles Source: RUNET
