When there is a child in the family, the mother the whole world begins to revolve around him.Later, parents continue to indulge in material benefits, vacation, in order to give the child the best of everything.But whether to devote his whole life to children, forgetting about yourself?Do you need your child of such sacrifices?Generally, children do not appreciate spent on their "best years".Where is the fine line between care and self-sacrifice?How to learn to live for themselves and allow the children to live their own lives?
world revolves around who?
The greatest misconception of young parents is that the world should revolve around their children.Even if he is still a baby.The child - not the center of the universe, it's just a family member, the same as everyone else.Certainly, a lot of the little man needs to satisfy himself that he is not able to.Your task - to help him teach everything you know yourself, so that later he was able to live independently.
correct model of the relationship between children and their parents - when the child lives the life of father and mother, but not vice versa.The child will not be happy being with their parents, to put themselves on the altar of love for his adored fumes.Happy baby grows in the family happy parents.And nothing to complicate things.It is necessary to clearly understand yourself - your children well when you are well.
Who needs these sacrifices?
parents to forget about his beloved for the sake of the child, sooner or later begin to vent their dissatisfaction with life there.Allegedly, trying for the benefit of your child, father and mother began to play, he is accused of all their troubles.Who needs these sacrifices?Similarly, do not you, and certainly not a child.Do not expect that children will thank you for the "exploits" to which you went to give them "all the best", or at least experience pity or sympathy.Rather, in response to the convictions you get a replica of aggression, resentment and misunderstanding.The child does not ask you to suffer for his sake.
your son or daughter in no way to blame.Do not make a loved one feel uncomfortable because he allegedly interfered with your happy and carefree life.Forget about himself, under the guise of self-sacrifice - it is only your choice and nobody else.If you are happy, you are happy and comfortable with your child, just to feel it.
you have adopted a model of behavior "victims" of their own parents.Whenever you want to blame your child, that is something you do not get, do not have, remember how sad to hear such accusations in his address.
For happiness mother
If you recognize yourself in the "mother-heroine," try to change the situation, first and foremost, for the sake of itself.
• Configure the child the right attitude to the distribution of wealth among family members.Excellent triggered rule: "First my mother, then the child."Do not buy those things for children who still do not have you.The daughter asks her coat - it must first come from her mother.Otherwise, it can not be considered.Expensive phone can not occur in children before their parents, and then, only if it allows the family budget.Having an expensive thing that you spent an entire salary, the child does not fully appreciate this act, because he does not know how much you had to work hard to buy this gift.
• Do not try to sell through their child's unfulfilled desire.Your child has a right to build their own destiny and to choose the path in life.Just as you.Never too late to admit their mistakes and try to correct them, engage in self-realization.You get a chance to feel happy.
• Stop to put the interests and needs of children above their own.The child - not an idol and not the navel of the earth.This is the same person as you are.Endowing her child with everything that deprived yourself, you raise a very risk egoist who does what puts the desires of their parents, in fact - said they must satisfy his every whim.
• Do not expect thanks for all your "victim".Give life to your child, to love and take care of it - your only choice.The child is not guilty, that you have decided to forget about their own desires and needs.He will not have the pleasure of bestowed him a "good" if it is constantly blamed for it.
• Keep in mind that sooner or later, the children "will fly out of the nest" and they will have their own families.Parents who put all his life, to "raise" your child will most likely continue to take an active part in his life, interfering with a young family - in contrast to the mothers and fathers, with their own concerns, interests and hobbies.
• Do not go to extremes.Selfishness as inappropriate as a sacrifice.Still, the care of the baby, its development and education takes a lot of effort, time, money.It is your duty as a parent - to provide the child with all the necessities.Of course, parents, anyway, we have to sacrifice something for the sake of the children, as long as it does not go beyond reasonable.
course children - a huge part of our lives, but it is not the whole life.What child would not be happy, looking at successful and joyful mother.Do not deprive your children of the pleasure.Live vibrant, full of life, your child will be proud of you!Be happy and love each other - it does not have to sacrifice!
Articles Source: resnichka.ru