Grandma in the house: the social phenomenon through the eyes of pediatrician

deny the great role of grandmothers in the education of the younger generation is simply meaningless.In our country, it is doubly senseless, because the vast majority of young families in general are not able to without the help of grandparents provide child care and a normal upbringing.We list to start the factors causing this situation is.

- Our family is often not a full-fledged unit of society - it nesamodostatochnosti who marry young people can not survive without constant care "elders."Children tend to come into the world, not because it is very like the parents, but because "it happened."Themselves the perpetrators of the incident have no separate property, nor the means to full existence - owned housing just grandmothers and financial support have also grandmother who, as a rule, not an old woman, but on the contrary, women in the prime of life and economic opportunities.

- Mom and Dad is not any experience, any knowledge about the fact that with a child must do.At hand there is always their own parents, who have such an experience.

- How to care for a child constantly requires a very responsible decision.Young Mom and Dad are very often afraid, and do not want to take is not only responsible, but no decisions at all - a very comfortable position, especially given the fact that there are persons on hand (all the same grandmother) who are ready to take these decisions.

- By the time the children in the family, the Pope often mothers themselves have not become adults and they (mothers, fathers) really want to walk, dance and play.Child interferes enjoy life and help grandmothers allows to be a mom, dad and at the same time do not be sad about the fact that the missing youth.

In view of the above paragraphs the following fact becomes clear: the concept of "grandmother" could not be seen as a particular person, but as a very significant social phenomenon that requires a separate study.

For many years, the author has to contact with the grandmothers most closely.The conclusions are clear - without this phenomenon is almost impossible to organize normal care and upbringing of children.

main problem grandmothers participate in the educational process is the issue of ownership - ownership of the child.Feeling the strength and desire to help, being in full confidence that knows how to do it, my grandmother, however, at the subconscious level feels that this is not her child!

not his thing normal people use with extreme caution - the main thing is to do no harm.But the idea that a child is bad, dangerous and undesirable grandmothers quite specifically - is not harmful harmful to freeze, bad cry bad wet ears harmful to walk barefoot, and so on. N. - Hundreds of such hazards.

Not surprisingly, the grandmother education has high diligence, bordering on pathology.About any hardening, cold drafts, and even the heels can be no question.A separate question - the disease.If it is possible to treat, and can wait grandmother always prefer to be treated - like if something happens.

simultaneous participation of two generations in the educational process often generates a lot of problems that are not less often turn into serious conflicts.My favorite in-law is the enemy number one, the charming daughter-in turns into a lazy sad sack.The phrase "your mother" (in different cases) are increasingly used by spouses during the explanation of the relationship with each other.The phrase "you are the same (the same), your mother, and your mother and I do not want to live" sometimes becomes a final chord, announces another family disintegration.

prevent possible conflicts can be.To this end, all the participants of the educational process should be to dot the i's and to determine the concepts of responsibility and ownership.Priority role in clarifying the relationship just have to play it like a grandmother's people are more experienced and, at least theoretically, wiser and more balanced.

ability to love in general, and especially the ability to love their children has a close relationship with the person's age.Unable biologically unable to twenty-year boys and girls experience the same feelings as the mature woman - the mother of these boys-girls who "Got Game" and become much older ... I love grandmas, I infinitely appreciate their kindness,diligence, desire to help.Starting from the next paragraph, I generally will write only for grandmothers.

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dear grandmother!Very, very I ask you to find the courage to read this chapter to the end, and there come what may.

Your main difference from the "young" - experience.They more needs to be, and you have your child safely grown and married (was married).Looking back, you are convinced that you know how one must deal with the child.But was your way easy?Remember, you always agree with his own mother?Absolutely Do you believe in your right and your right to counsel or, worse, make decisions?

Raising a child is surrounded by a large number of traditions, misconceptions and prejudices, and many things clearly perceived as a right, in fact, are not.You have been taught that a child must be tightly swaddled.And you're swaddled, sure: it should be.Why is it necessary?That have at least one living being, not giving her cub stir?You have been taught not to feed the baby at night.Why is that?Where have you seen that the mother had milk, and the child crying from hunger ?!You are used to leaf through the magazine "Health", published by the same grandparents.Not surprisingly, the ideal of beauty became a chubby baby with obvious signs of obesity and allergies red cheeks.

you are ready to do anything to protect his grandson from dangers, because we are convinced of his weakness, pain and lack of preparation for life.But this is absolutely not true - painful children usually are not born, but becomes.

Life is very, very changed ... and much of what was right in the past, has become meaningless right now.The hunger is logical to give the child a single yolk eggs for the whole family.But normal is not it better to feed the mother properly.If the child is fed cow's milk, it is necessary to give juice to fill the needs for vitamins - in the past.But why in the age of one month to give the juice when you can buy milk mixture, made up of all the necessary vitamins are included.

All of the above I am writing with a single purpose: to convince you that you are not the bearers of absolute truth as well, and author.But by profession, I have dealt with so many absurdities, mainly teachers, the hair stand on end.And believe it or not, children from families where the grandmother did not live with their grandchildren, are hospitalized less noticeable.Where there is no one or no time to feed the baby refuses to eat, make sure to walk around the house in socks, do not jump out naked in the corridor, do not drink unboiled water, and so on. N. - And so, in such families children are much healthier.This is an obvious fact, saying that the abundant food supplies have nothing to do with love, rather the contrary.

most important rule binding for grandparents: never, under any circumstances, make any decisions concerning the child's way of life, and even more so, to impose these decisions his parents.

responsibility for the happiness and health of your baby are just mom and dad.You have to live with it, and how would you like this no, no responsibility on myself not to take!

Let them do with their child, what they want, on their own responsibility for all!

It is not inaction, not closing one's eyes - this is the only and the surest way to peace and tranquility in the home, to the normal relations between the generations.And since you asked for something to do (not to wear, do not heat, do not buy), then do not.

If you have the time and desire to help, try to help passively implementing only the actions do not require policy decisions.Are you ready to put the child - let them say what.Are you ready to feed - let them say what, what temperature, in what quantity.It is possible that in a situation like mom and dad want to, or simply will be forced to anything to read.And it is quite natural state of affairs in which the book of "your child" grandmother read more and more closely than the mother.

But you can really help a lot, all without touching the child - pat, wash, clean the house, cook a meal, go to the store for milk or food.Your help - it is a gift.And never, never remember and remind about their good deeds.It's better to do nothing.

I fully admit that your "youth" may take a passive stance, voluntarily handed over to the grandparents educational process.But in this case you become a mom and dad, since taking on the responsibility, you automatically cease to be grandparents.

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Of course, you remember the popular wisdom that the husband - the head, and his wife - the neck.You're well aware that a wise woman will never give spouse understand that just she is the boss.With generational conflict on the basis of education of children the situation is similar.

art of being present and fulfilling grandmother is precisely to create in the biological mothers and fathers the illusion that they are true and full-fledged parents.

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