The last time we talked about the system of human values and its role in NLP.Knowing the value of a person under him adapt easily to communicate, it is easier to help his psychological problems.So, how to identify personal values, find out what your interlocutor really cares that affects his words and deeds?
1. Ask the person to tell you about myself.Listening autobiography stands out in her moments when the interviewee to make a choice: he could go into medicine, and went to serve in the army, could have married one, but preferred another, could pursue a career in one place, but went to the less-paid job ... Our life consists entirely ofelections.You just need to learn to identify them in the speech of another person.
2. Catches trend.And the trend is likely to be one of the four possible:
Your interlocutor - an idealist.Elections, which makes a man, dictated this or that idea, for example, the desire to achieve perfection, to find the meaning of life, etc.
Your interlocutor - a materialist.The choices that people make are motivated by purely material considerations: to make a profit, keep the savings, reduce losses.
Your interlocutor - emotsional.The choices that people make are dictated by his emotions and experiences.Under the influence of the senses, he chose the university, under the influence of feelings - made the decision to get a job, and then under the influence of other feelings fired from her.
Your interlocutor - vitalist.The choices that people make are motivated by the desire to preserve life, a family, to preserve the health, etc.
start watching people and learning to determine their value system, you will see that some values of one group dominates, while others are suppressed.But there are people who have dominated several (usually two) groups of values, such as the material and vital, emotional and material and other possible combinations.
3. audited.Knowing that personal values - is a powerful filter, and assuming the dominant value system, offer the person to tell you what he thinks about this or that, a particular event.
example:
If a person is dominated by an ideological system of values, encouraged him to talk about contemporary art, the various religious confessions, the possibility of a man to achieve perfection.It is important to understand that these materialist are not interested in the topic, and he shows it in his stories, bringing the whole matter of money.
If such topics offer emotional, he will talk about their experiences with respect to the aforesaid.Vitalists tell how these issues affect the health of children and families.
Similarly Arrange inspection by offering him a close companion topic materialist - what he thinks about the changes in the dollar, emotional - what book made him a strong emotional impact, vitalists - how to maintain health.
themes that we have identified in the examples are conventional, communicating with a particular companion, you'll know exactly what to offer as a test.And note that if you guessed, the story will be on the topic, interesting, with a mass of detail.If you did not guess, it will turn off the source of important topics for him: he says that the best way to keep health - this is to be rich and buy expensive drugs.
To understand the value system of your interlocutor should be enough ten minutes.If it's been ten minutes, and you do not have the slightest suggestion that it is important for a man it means one of three things:
first - your interlocutor skilfully concealing his personal relationship to the whole of what you would not ask him.
second - you ask the wrong questions or let the conversation take its course, and, perhaps, your interlocutor asks you to talk about this and studying your value system.
Articles Source: nlpr.ru
