I heard that a man rodivshemu Nobel Prize of one million dollars should be.Truth be told, or whistle, do not you know?
I've been recently gave birth to a son.Grishka named.
Evidence?Plenty!Evidence of his wife, colleagues, team "Ambulance" work?
Details?Okay, I tell in order.
Tanyuha My wife - a pediatrician.It so happened, who knew ... No options were nice options such it was me in his youth lohanulsya.I thought medichki - ordinary girl.Outwardly, they seem like normal people: the top head below his feet, in the middle - waist.Yeah, how did ...
Two years after the wedding we Tanyuha how people lived.Tanya was finishing his honey, and I'm on the distribution of the same rotten system administrator graft office for a nominal salary.Schlock, not without it.Iron repaired, the user computers revived, to life in short supply.In the apartment itself, so Makarov and for two hundred years, not to make money, but there really was lucky.Tanyukhin broads slid to his Granddaddy and other fathers to relocate, Hata granddaughter bequest went.Well, repair it, mebelishka Coy what - not much acceleration, but it is normally settled.
all ustakanilos only have Windows Tanya hung ... "I want a baby" - he says.E-mine, a virus or what?Or restart Tanyuha, though burst!Specific visyak, on what does not react ... No, I - not a childfree, I'm in a reasonable and timely reproduction, but why hurry?We recently just knocked on the quarter, then climb into bondage?By country interesting shook his hunting career to make any kind of need.Pampers - snot - screams from us anywhere will not get to ...
Logic, most importantly, Tanya - no, even the female, no!I said: "Come in five years - Pick up seven offspring, and wait until your pleasure."And she says: "You do not love me!" And then - as expected - hysterical tears, accusations of all mortal sins, and incrimination in my longing to leave her in the lurch ...
short, with a woman less accept what I did.Hot, however.
Here as usual, with a history of women - Doctor, men preparing to reproduce?Yes not ready!Wham-bam - and you're done!I enjoy the process, and was free, right?I was stuck for most tomatoes ...
To start Tanyuha forbade me to smoke and drink anything stronger than beer.And the beer is allowed to use only in homeopathic doses and under the supervision of a physician - it, that is.No, the dosage, and the percentage of alcohol, I, of course, slightly corrected - five times.Well, on holidays and weekends - seven ... I had to interrupt ambre mints - like I withdraw from smoke.
Then Tanya drove me under the personal escort to the delivery of the analysis and ultrasound every interior.I psihanul were: - Are you - say - crazy?Who among us is going to give birth - you or me?- I have to be sure in good condition your body - taldychit my move on the medicine supruzhnitsa - depends on the quality of your genetic material.It is, frankly, the other used the term, I do not dare repeat it.
- Listen, - I tried to translate the arrows - and you yourself well your body examined?- I am now in an optimum state of health and age for gestation and labor - meets Tanya.
So, I mean.Oh, and figs with you - I think.Since you're so impatient - to give birth, a walking encyclopedia, have fun.Just do not touch me.
two months instead of a cigarette after breakfast, I swallowed some stupid vitamins did not go with friends for a beer and waited UMF Hardy visual signal.X hour approached.Day conception wife has chosen in accordance with the medical reference and their own considerations.A week before making this important procedure, it introduced a prohibition, and transferred me to the fish and vegetable diet, juice and nuts.I quietly swearing, spitting, and waited with dread judgment day.After all executions and two weeks of abstinence (is that "genetic material" absolutely furious) I was plagued by vague doubts ... I was afraid that my mission would be impossible high.
I sdyuzhil!Genetic material does not disappoint - Tanyuha safely flown.
I sighed with relief and going that way for nine months to relax.Not a bit of it!
immediately after realizing the fact that his position Tanya sick megalomaniac.She, like the Emperor Nicholas II, who began to talk about himself in the plural - "we ate", "we slept," "we walked ..." This crap was contagious, and after a while I also zabubnil, much to the dismay of his colleagues - "we have morning sickness, "" We are pregnant "," we need to eat well and a lot of walking »...
The first ultrasound unborn babies we Tanyuha prepared as for the wedding.Outfit, took a present to the doctor and the camera, called a taxi and went to look at our child.- Boy!- Confidently said the doctor, looking at the screen.- Horrible!- I thought.
pofotkat, poohali.Bought Tanyuha flowers themselves - vodka noted.It determined that something was changing in my brain, and not for the better.
At night Tanya shook my shoulder: - Look like kicking - you feel?
I felt.In my belly, too, for spin - with hunger, I always want to eat at night, if you wake.For dinner, we now often chew something disgusting-diet.Tanya treasured figure, fought with each illegally recruited gram of body weight.I was terribly sorry for the chronically hungry baby.
Grishkin the time of birth, I lost four pounds and matured for ten years.
- born has come!- I hurried event.
the hospital I took Tanyuha Sunday night, but the fights she had.She decided to err, and the time has come to maturity.I, too, so peaceful, under supervision will.
Monday morning scored Tanya - it is in one eye, well, okay.
Works bulk servak flew boss ranting and raving, he should be on soap send an important agreement, and then a full f ... p.I have all the scoring, only to quickly antediluvian run this stuff!Two hours of struggling, finally found where the dog fumbled.
Toward noon I suddenly cold sweat proshiblo belly was caught, I settled on the floor and got into a knot.Pain wild before the eyes - Tanya looms, such as already glitches ... I went to grab for breath like a fish freshly caught.Guys - programtsy scared, "soon" have caused.To save the suffering quickly arrived, I was still alive.I spread out the doctor on three chairs, the probe, look at each other.Appendicitis me as a child was cut so that Aesculapius stopped for renal colic.Injected an analgesic, loaded my crooked body in the car.Able to take to the hospital, and I kind of have a little ochunyal - at will ask.
- wife - I say - I in the hospital.Release, for Christ's sake ...
squeezed released.Tanya dial - one tube does not take.I'm at the post - duty - there, they say, my wife is faring, why not respond?
- birth, - they say - half an hour ago.Congratulations on your son!
Tanyuha, as it turned out, at the most crucial moment of the oxygen mask on the face flopped.And she Grishka with a smile on his lips, and my face as the reality in front of you saw.The doctors were very surprised then Grishka guy is not small - three eight pulled and mamashka not even squeaked!And what it squeak if I gave birth for her.We then all up to a minute compared notes - to give birth when she was taken away when I "soon" have caused ...
Similarly I gave birth!
son - my copy, just poured out, only smaller caliber.Tanyuha sort of like to do with it.There is still justice in this world!
Since think - give me the Nobel Prize?
Articles Source: live4fun.ru
