reproaches and insults, humiliation and anger, frustration and anger - these destructive emotions are present in conflict situations.From the behavior of the collision of opinions and the actions of both sides - libel, insults, blooming hand, neglect, anger - it depends on the result of the confrontation.
The reasons for the differences
dispute - destructive conflict.A constructive dialogue can only occur during normal social interactions.The impetus for the confrontation may become very different motives and reasons:
- economic;
- value;
- national-ethnic;
- policy;
- religious;
- personality;
- others.
one of the parties feels the unjust actions - it is an object.The other side - the subject - does things that cause a conflict situation.Usually, the cause of conflict is the subject who performs different actions on the "suffering" Party issuing in response to an inappropriate response.
types of conflicts and differences
Psychologists distinguish between two types of disputes:
- constructive;
- destructive conflict.
With a constructive approach always find a way out that will satisfy both sides.Thanks to the creative approach to the problem of improving mutual understanding and personal relationships between people.
destructive - a conflict that does not lead to the solution of the original problem.The inability and unwillingness to listen to the opponent, analyze his arguments, the installation of a confrontation - all this leads to the destruction of relationships.
characteristic feature of post-Soviet culture is the habit of "dumping" their dissatisfaction with the immediate surroundings.The appearance of "conflict chain" may begin the morning in transport or on the street, continue to work and end up in the family home.Petty harassment, shouts and accusations lead to the appropriate reaction: close people feel unhappy, nervous.One painful situation spills over into another emotion "explode" like a volcano, rupture of relations is inevitable ... but just had to move away from the negative and not to drag the "garbage" with him.
why conflicts are sometimes useful
a dispute in any group, in the family or at work deconstructs and mismatch between external, blurts factors and non-verbal, hidden information.Here are a few cases where this could happen:
- education or life experience team leader lower than employees;
- intellectual level of the group varies considerably;
- ignorance of methods of business communication;
- installation on private opposition;
- desire for violent methods of communication;
- mismatch purposes.
destructive process does not bring happiness, but it is sometimes useful: in a conflict situation swim to the surface of the internal contradictions in the collective, hidden discord and discontent.If we apply the methods of business communication, destroying any relationship conflict situation can be translated into constructive conversation.Dispute destructive - it is a struggle for power, it is anger, loss of face, stress, lack of solutions to the problem.
Pro constructive conflict
usefulness of the confrontation is that the position of the opponents are clarified in the course of the discussion, not the struggle and resistance.People are clearly aware of their own arguments when explaining their partners.There are no shouts, accusations and mutual humiliation.The main part of the focus of the conflict is aimed at finding ways to solve the problem, not the suppression of the individual opponent.Addressing the causes of conflict between the parties clashes of opinion establishing normal relations, and their position relative to each other change.
causes of conflict in men and women are quite different.For women it is important to satisfy the personal needs such as salary, benefits, bonuses and vacation.The team with the oppressive atmosphere or high workloads the fairer sex "explode" the first, but faster and easier to calm down.
For the male half has a value of power status, compliance with labor rights and duties, the presence of some form of subordination.In the event of overloading and violation of rights, men hoard longer a grudge, not splashing it into the team.
How to do business with design
applying certain rules and techniques of business communication, team members will interact as a single organism.In the past go away clash of opinions and such conflict as destructive - is a method of "tank", a method of war, bringing devastation in the minds of the family and the business.To peacefully find a productive solution that both sides should proceed as follows:
- only discuss this issue, rather than individual personality traits;
- remember that the partners are not enemies of each other;
- restrain the manifestations of anger, unbridled anger, desire for revenge or punishment;
- power control methods can only do harm;
- defending his own point of view, it is important to take into account the interests of the opponent;
- interaction should be friendly and open;
- opponents need to tune in to the understanding and interaction.
strictly observing the rules and sticking to the scope of business communication, you can always find a way to exit the situation.If one of the opposition made a grave breach, the whole process can get out of control and turn into a destructive.It will not benefit any of the parties, and may only intensify contradictions.
