• If you got up in the morning with his left foot, it's not your day - it will be good tomorrow.If
right - it will be good today.
And if you do get on their feet can not - it was good yesterday.
• This is how to understand, the first SMS: "Dear, I'll come buy a mascara" and then SMS: "Meet me at the bus stop, I'm with heavy bags"?!
• - Daddy, why do we have in the family commands the mother?
- because, if man family - is the rear, then the woman - front.
• Americans came to see and learn more about our schools.There are, look.One of them asked:
- you use computers in schools?
- Yes, from the first grade.
comes to class, see: stand on the windowsill 4 computers.The teacher says:
- Sidorov, take 1 computer and put it on the table.Children, many computers left on the windowsill?
• little girl asks her mother:
- Mom, why the stork brought a little brother, but I've found in the cabbage?
- You stork dropped.
• Crying man in the cemetery:
- Why are you so early died ...
Newbie:
- your relative?
- No, this is my wife's first husband.
• Yesterday saw a girl in the club.He came and talked, met, danced, drank, drank more ... woke up at home, it was - I do not remember.On hand some permanent marker written the phone number.Well, I think - the evening was a success ...
phone call to say hello sexy voice: "Hi, honey!".
answered me not cute, and the operator service hotline for survivors of sexual violence ...
• - fly flies!
- no flies.In humans and flies a different set of chromosomes ...
• A man, pale as death, tells his friends:
- I got in a taxi and immediately realized that behind the wheel - ace!As he maneuvered between machines shirk truck slipped right under the noses of the pedestrians!But really I'm scared already then.When we arrived, he took a magnifying glass to look at the counter.
• Stand "Oka" and "Mercedes-600" at the intersection on a red.Drove "Oka" sitting and revs, pressing on the gas, as is now explode like a rocket ...
carrier "Mercy", seeing this thing, decides to compete with the "Oka".The green ... and "Mercedes" to the point of disappearing."Oka" remains in place.Drove "Mercy" comes back and says peasant in "Oka»:
- Are you afraid?I wanted to race with you, and you have so broken off ...
Drove "Oka»:
- Man, Gad will not believe ... At the cud hit!
