• "Bagel! Bagel!"- Abused children, even knowing that the Gingerbread Man fatally wounded ...
• They talk to two models:
- me yesterday over the Internet on a date Roman Abramovich.
- Really?And how?
- Unfortunately, it turned out that Abramovich ...
- Sly?Greedy?Nerd?
- Unfortunately, it turned out that Abramovich - a middle name.Plus, even the old and the Pauper.
• There was a guy on the beach.Suddenly he sees - is goldfish fluttering.He lifted her into the water.It is worth waiting for.Fish sticks his head out of the water, and asked:
- What, man, I suppose, you want three wishes?
- Aha!
- Duc, bummer.This I simply jaundice, and in fact I am an ordinary Karasik.
• One was the wife of an old grandfather - grandmother, who lay near death.Grandpa went to the doctors in the hope that someone will help him save his grandmother.In the end, he was a specialist in alternative medicine.The doctor tells him:
- You only have one opportunity to help your wife - to sleep with her.
Grandpa, indignantly:
- Yes, I'm old already, in my arms Lenin himself died, how could I?
Doctor:
- This is the only way out.
Well, Grandpa pulled himself together, and still performed his conjugal duty.In the morning I wake up - grandmother next to him there.Gets up and sees - the grandmother in the house bustles, bakes pancakes, sing songs.Grandpa slaps his forehead and says:
- What a fool I am - I could have saved Lenin!
• Little girl in kindergarten nap after trying to wear pantyhose.Half an hour of trying.That two feet into one kolgotinu fall, all twisted, then wear inside.All out of breath, angry as hell.
- says mom dad at night, "a long, tedious, and to no avail."
• From the Guinness Book of Records:
- For one evening, in Khimki, a cell phone has replaced the seven owners.And the two also survived.
• - Count up this moron, so as not to wash dishes, puts them a plastic bag before eating, and then removed and discarded in the trash, and all!And it is not necessary to wash the dish ...
- Listen, he's a genius!
• A doctor says to a patient, waking up after anesthesia:
- you have had a good operation.In front of it you will behave just awful: erupted, shouting, insulting the medical staff.And your friend from the neighboring bed behaved even more disgusting!
- You bet!After we sent your hospital window wash!
• Should a man on the windowsill (9th floor):
- I'll be thrown out !!!
Wife:
- I told you pointed the horn, not the wings!
