giggle?
mother daughter meets a disco!
-Prishla?
-Prishla!
-A Th so late?
-And I suppose you have phoned all the hospitals?
- I ring up!
- All morgue phoned?
-Obzvonila!
-And I have not called Che?
***
- dear - it seems you'll be a dad!
- A Th - Benedict XVI really bad ?!
***
The pharmacy is near the windows thoughtfully man of twenty.
Chemist:
- Young man!Can I help you?Do you have condoms?
guy sad:
- Late ... Diapers and baby food, please ...
***
- Listen, you nafig these culinary programs are watched?Well you do not know how to cook even ?!
- And what for you are watching porn?
***
- What's your name?
- Pepepepetrov ...
- Are you stutter?
- No, my dad - a stutterer.And sitting in the registry office stsuki!
***
said Israel has a new robber - Rabbi Goode.He cuts and sews the rich to the poor.
***
- What drink?
- Russian mojito ...
- rum and mint?
- No.Vodka and dill.
***
- Mama, Mama!And what is "premature ejaculation"?
- This is for you, my son, with a specialist should talk - ask the Pope ...
***
A guy goes to a meeting, late, nervous, can not find a place to park.Raises face to the sky and said: "Lord, help me to find a parking spot! Then I'll give up drinking, and every Sunday to go to church!" Suddenly, miraculously appears free place.
He again turned to the sky, "Oh, everything is not necessary. I found!"
***
- Son, tell me honestly, do you smoke weed?
- Dad, I have a daughter.
***
Man:
- The park had been ... In the movie ... At the disco were ... Now what?
Girl:
- At the registry office ...
***
progress shooting porn.Directed by:
- So!Camera!Action! ... Stop!Stop!Why do they have the body dry?Where's the sweat?Props!Where prop! ... So good ... Camera!Action! ... Stop!Stop!Stop!Why is she in the shoes?Put her boots!Costume!Where costume? ... So good ... Camera!Action! ... STOP!STOP!STOP!Why is it not worth it?Gaffer!where the director?
***
- Where have you been?
- Begal.In tualet.
- Stranno.But tualete clean and no pahnet!
- Dura!I do not dobezhal ...
***
Bun baked grandmother and tells him:
- do not go to McDonald's, and the sausage tucked in the ass!
***
husband preparing eggs for breakfast ...
suddenly rushes into the kitchen his wife:
Caution - screams - CAUTION!Put more oil!Oh my God!You fry a lot of eggs at once!TOO MUCH!!!Turn them!Turn them right now !!!Need more oil!Oh my God!Where should we have more oil?Now they stick !!!CautionCAUTION!I said - Beware!You never listen to me, when you make an omelet !!!NEVER !!!Turn them!FAST!!!What do you mean, nutty? !!You're absolutely crazy? !!Do not forget the salt!You always forget to salt!Use salt!Use salt!C-O-O-O-O-l !!!
husband looks at his wife in surprise:
- What's wrong with you today!You think I'm not in a position to prepare elementary eggs? !!
wife calmly explained:
- I wanted to show you what I feel when I drive a car, and you're sitting next to ...
Articles Source: RUNET
