Male Manifesto

1. If you think you have put on weight, it is most likely true.Do not ask us, we refuse to answer.

2. Learn to manage the toilet seat.If it's up, put it down.

3. Do not cut their hair.Never.Long hair is always more attractive than short ones.One of the main reasons because of which men do not marry - is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you have nowhere on it does not go.

4. Birthdays, Valentine's Day and anniversaries - it's not the crusades in search of another perfect gift!

5. If you ask a question that you do not need an answer, be prepared to hear the answer that you do not want to hear.

6. Sometimes we are not thinking about you.Deal with it.

7. Do not ask us what we think, if you're not prepared to discuss such issues as garbage in the navel, a shotgun and auto racing.

8. Sunday = sports.It's like the full moon or the tide.May it be so.

9. Shopping - is not a sport, and we will never think otherwise.

10. When we're going somewhere, whatever you wear - just wonderful.R

eally.

11. You have enough clothes.

12. You have too many shoes.

13. Crying - it's blackmail.

14. Your ex-boyfriend - idiot.

15. Ask for what you want.We need to understand this: Subtle hints do not help, hints do not work the thick, clear hints do not help.Just say.

16. No, we do not know what day it is.And we will never know.Mark all anniversaries on the calendar.

17. Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult, so we inevitably will sometimes miss.

18. Most men are three pairs of shoes.What makes you think that we can help you select one pair, out of thirty, which is ideal for your dress?

19. Yes and No - answers that are ideally suited to almost any question.

20. Come to us with a problem, if you want it solved.For crying in a vest is what your girlfriends.

21. Headache length of 17 months - this is serious.Go to the doctor.

22. Do not pretend.We better feel bankrupt than to cheat.

23. Neither your nor in our interest together to participate in the competition.

24. No, it does not matter which one.

25. All that has been said 6 months ago is not acceptable to the dispute.All words expire in 7 days.

26. If you do not agree to dress like a girlfriend Pamela Anderson from the last of the series, do not ask us to do the same noble men of the same series.

27. If any of the above contact can be understood in two ways, and one of the meanings makes you sad or angry - then, we meant the other.

28. Do not forbid us to stare at women, we will still do it, it's in the genes.

29. Not three lamp if you do not want the genie appeared.

30. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both at once.

31. If possible, say whatever you want to say during commercials.

32. Christopher Columbus did not need a guide, we were too.

33. Women who put on sustaining the breast bra and blouse with a plunging neckline, automatically lose the right to complain about the fact that someone is staring at their boobs.

34. propped breast bra and blouse with a plunging neckline should be more women we love to stare at their boobs.

35. The relationship will never remain the same as in the first two months of dating.

36. ALL men see in 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach - a fruit, not a color.

37. Pumpkin - is also a fruit.

38. If something itches, it will be scratched.

39. Beer is as entertaining for us as for you purse.

40. If this is our house, I do not understand why my stuff dumped in a mess in the basement / closet / the attic.

41. We are not mind readers, and never will be.Our inability to read your mind does not prove that we have treated you badly.

42. When we asked what it was, and you said, we will act as if everything is fine.We know you are lying, but it is not necessary to establish the truth of possible scandal.

43. If you had heard from his old girlfriend that it was included in our erotic imaginations, do not worry: your imagination and have included it, both of you at once.

44. What rhinestones ??????? !!!!!!!!

Articles Source: smeshnoe.info