Our immigrants assumed that knowledge of the English language - a prerequisite to get a job in America.Maybe it's true, but not always.Anyway, in my personal experience, knowledge of the language brings only harm.And if you do not believe me, here's my story.
By profession I am a civil engineer.By the time I came to America, my behind was fifteen years of experience, and I was sure that in this country, sooner or later, I find the use of this valuable experience.I made a good resume and began sending its engineering companies.To my joy, all my destinations proved to be extremely polite and helpful people.Every day I receive from them in return for two - three letters, which I sincerely Blagodir because I showed interest in their company, expressed genuine enthusiasm about my qualifications and reluctantly explained that right now they do not haveI was not able to take the job.What such times have come.After a few months my confidence in the future engineering career poblёkla slightly and I was ripe for it to work by anyone - a draftsman, clerk, janitor - just to work.
In the end, the fate took pity on me.I phoned a man named Goldberg and invited me for an interview.Mr. Goldberg had a small workshop for the production of simple steel structures - those that are hung signs like "Stop", "detour", "cautious ditch" and the like.He needed a draftsman.Draw it was very simple, and only for an engineer with experience pyatnadtsatilentnim - even a trifling matter.
Mr. Goldberg met me with a joyful smile and immediately led to show their production, which he was proud, as the fruit of his work.He obviously wanted to impress me, and I, in turn, wanted to impress upon Mr. Goldberg, and therefore our initial communication was like a meeting of two relatives after a long separation.But soon the tone of this joyful meeting gradually began to fade.
Here I must digress and talk about the specifics of his Russian or Soviet - whichever you prefer - the mentality of the time.What makes a Soviet man to impress the other person?And here is what he explains that he, his companion, a little that understands his profession, all delet wrong and generally thinks poorly.Do you think it's strange?Me too - today.But then it seemed estvestvenno, and this was a very simple logic: if I tell you that you have very little meaning in my profession, I mean, of course, your sense anymore.So you have to admit my professional excellence, began to respect me warmly and immediately take on the job.Clear?
So all I showed Mr. Goldberg in his workshop, met my condescending disapproval.Snaachalo he led me to the welding shop.
- Here, - he said proudly, and even with some complacency.- We do welding.We have almost completely abandoned manual welding.We have several modern welding machines.
I've never seen such a welding machine, which showed me Mr. Goldberg, but that did not stop me to say:
- This is how you Dalet welding?It's worthless.When I start to work for you, I'll show you how to properly cook for steel structures.
joyous smile slipped from his face Mr. Goldberg, but I did not pay attention to it.We went back to the office and went to a room where, bent over the drawing board, working two draftsman, one Chinese, the other Mexican.
- Yeah, I said, bursting with a sense of superiority.This is so you do the drawings?Who so draws?When I start to work for you, I'll show you how to draw.
Here Mr. Goldberg completely stopped smiling, and in his eyes there was some sadness, but I still did not attach any importance to this.Continuing sadly not-smile, he said:
- Thank you for coming.Nice to meet you.Please do not call me;I'll call you when it will be necessary.Bye.
I went home and began to wait for the call to Mr. Goldberg.Passed the day, then a second, and he still has not called.On the third day I decided to call him myself.When Mr. Goldberg heard my voice, he clearly came to the irritation:
- Why did you call?I told you not to call.I call myself, if need be.
To which I replied politely and without any pressure:
- Of course, Mr. Goldberg.I understand, Mr. Goldberg.I just thought: What if you lost my phone number?
- I lost your phone number, - said Mr. Goldberg.Please do not call me.
I waited three more days, but he did not call.Then I decided to call him again.At this time, I am hearing my Glos, Mr. Goldberg rassviripel.
- I asked you not to call me!- He screamed nervously - I've already told you lost your phone number!I know it by heart!Please stop calling me!
But I do not want to give up.I needed a job.I said:
- Mr. Goldberg, if you will not take me to work, and you will not know how to do welding.
And that's when I said, Mr. Goldberg, who until that moment still retain some semblance of civility, finally lost control and shouted brokenly:
- Everything!Enough!Enough is enough!You go fuck yourself!
and hung up.As you can see, Mr. Goldberg was not such a polite person.But I was not offended at him.Because I poorly understood in English and did not know what it means to go fuck yourself.I rummaged in the dictionary, but did not find any such word or expression.So I called my friend Volodya.
Volodya came to America by as much as six months before I did and so was considered an expert on Native American and English.To my happiness, he was at home, and I asked him if he knows what it means to the English expression go fuck yourself.
As it turned out, Vladimir did not know what that means, but to admit it would be to admit that he does not know English, that is, to lose face.Volodya could not bear the shame.He said:
- What are you talking about, man!Of course I know!It's ... well, how would you explain in Russian ... Well, in general, the idiom.
- Yeah - I agreed.- What does it mean?
- How would you explain in Russian ... well, it depends on the context.
Then I told Volodya whole story samomgo beginning: and about how Mr. Goldberg was smiling, and he showed me his studio and as I said to him then called many times, and how he, in the end, he said "gofuck yourself ".
- Well, now it is clear - tale Volodya, waiting to hear my story.- He takes you to work.
- It can not be!- I whispered, not believing his luck.- Are you sure?
- Am I sure?- The voice sounded sarcastic Volodin.- Imagine - yes, I'm sure!You think I do not know English?
my jubilation knew no bounds.At last!This work!I dialed the phone number you already know by heart.
- Mr. Goldberg, it's me again, - I said, catching his breath.- Remember when I called you yesterday and you told me to go fuck yourself?Remember?
- Well, then I said so - admitted Mr. Goldberg.
- When do I start?
There was a pause.Apparently, never in my life Mr. Goldberg did not ask such a question.He hesitated, and said wearily:
- You go fuck yourself right away!
and hung up.
The next morning I put on my best and only suit, tied my very best and only tie, and a quarter to eight appeared before Mr. Goldberg in his office.When he saw me, he's got such an expression as if he had just pulled out of the soup hair .. In this case, with his face there was something strange: first, it turned pink, then pobeleo and then went uneven bluish spots.He asked hoarsely:
- What are you doing here?
- I came to fuck myself, - I said, proud of his knowledge of fine English idioms.
- to ... what?
- Fuck myself, as you asked, - I repeated.- Do not worry, Mr. Goldberg.I know how to do it.I'll do it well.
gradually to reach Mr. Goldberg beginning what was going on.His face was flushed again, a few seconds he was like a fish mouth open enough air, and then burst into hysterical, thunderous laughter.He whinnying like a herd of stallions and could not calm down for ten minutes.Behind the door Office Listings alarmed officials began to gather.Secretary came with a glass of water, but Mr. Godberg gesture sent her back .. In the end, he has translated the spirit and wiped his tears and said:
- I have not laughed so much for eight years, ever since I lost my largest competitorurban order and died of a heart attack.You deserve a reward.I take you to work in two weeks.I'll pay you two twenty-five an hour, because the law can not pay less.But you have to stick to the conscience, or two weeks will be very short.So go ahead ... go fuck yourself.
Here it again attacked the attack of laughter, and he motioned for me to get out.
Thus began my first job in America, in a small workshop for the manufacture of steel structures.The first two days I was studying for my new American drawing tools and rules, and the next three days the first week has made the light and put on the table to Mr. Goldberg five drawings.That was about as much as the two producing draftsman in the studio for a week.In the end, I was an engineer with fifteen years of experience, and Soviet engineers in my time were drawing themselves.By the end of the second week, Mr. Goldberg called me in and closed the office door and offered me a permanent job with a salary of fifty-four per hour.Once I accepted his offer, he fired his two draftsmen, Chinese and Mexican, who worked at it for many years.
- It is capitalism, Alex - he told me.- We are here not playing the fool.
In English it sounded like:
- We do not fuck around here, you know.We fuck ourselves.- And he burst out laughing ...
Many, many years have passed since then.I had a successful professional career.I have reached the level of senior management, in English speaking senior management at a big engineering firm in New York.My name is well known in professional circles in my area.But never in the course of my long career in the United States I have not received such a huge, hundred percent pay rise, which gave me Mr. Goldberg nearly thirty years ago.Here it is: whatever you say, but sometimes it's better not to understand English idioms fine.
Articles Source: RUNET
