When are exciting nine months and the child is born, parents' attention is directed to the baby.But suddenly in their personal relationship problems.How to get the parent path beginning with a minimum of difficulty?
During this period of difficulty in the family there are psychological and physiological.Most often it is the problem of sexual characteristics.
Strength tests
Young fathers addition to the family experience as a huge stress: someone falls into a silent depression, while others simply misunderstood the new rules of the game.One of the reasons - a change of regime and lifestyle.For the same and there is no freedom in the lives of more routine, the couple enough sleep at night, and generally they do not have the time or the or each other.
Men can be born a temporary illusion that will always be so now, and nothing will change.Thoughts mother close to it, but they are (if we are not talking about post-natal depression) still perceive the new state more harmoniously.
second reason - men women no longer pay attention to the same number as in the first place is a child.There may have different feelings - sadness and resentment until this jealousy of the baby, that at least in his own silly, but, nevertheless, has a base.Also, there is a suspicion, "I need at the moment is not in itself, but only as a source of stability and prosperity."
Mother's difficult to understand how to its demands, and so when she turns all day, like a squirrel in a cage.Jealousy seems to the child she did wildly.
in the psyche of women at the same time place your changes are not well understood companion.The main topics of conversations are diapers and feeding, time to communicate with her husband in particular remains.
In addition, women, on the other hand, feel its heroism with a touch of self-sacrifice: I suffered, gave birth, she suffered while he was resting at home (if he is not present at birth) and is now sitting in four walls at the time,the husband goes to work, talking to people.In this case, you can get off the reproaches, sometimes without reason.
What man thinks?It is not fair to me.What does a woman?I have a right, in fact the most difficult to get to me.
Another reason can be expressed in the phrase: mom becomes a mother, as soon learns about the pregnancy, and the pope have to learn to be a father.Women are more prepared for a baby, a man abstract perception.The clash of these two products could lead to serious conflict.
important to know, having a baby is often associated with the system of family crisis.In the risk group, first of all, turn out to couples with a family experience of more than three years, or, alternatively, just married.Habits first been too unsettled and it is more difficult to restructure, and the second had not yet know each other until the end and did not feel like a "lone pair".
Back to the feelings
First Commandment: Remember that this is temporary, it will be easier.The child grows up, and the picture of the world will look different.In the end, your husband - it is the same person who was dear to you, and then you will overcome difficulties.
Talk with your spouse.It is necessary to find out what you most care about, and thus to explain their feelings.The main thing - not to hoard resentment long time and not to burden each other "general allegations": "You do not take the time to me", "you forget about me."Use more specific.Ask your husband to help baby-sit while you go take a shower, do peel and soak for half an hour on the couch, doing a light meditation.
not ignore the wishes and spouse.In mild and constructive manner, explain that without the help of you can not cope.
way, for help.Required (without bending the stick) drew his companion to care for the child.Do not be afraid to leave the baby with my dad for an hour, not "hammer" his initiatives.
Keep interested in the affairs of each other.
If you have helpers enthusiasts, do not hesitate to use their support.It is important now, at least not for long, come together to remember how it all happens.In the early days it is difficult, but in the first months is already possible to make forays into the cinema and walks.
Intimacy does not offer
refusal woman having sex - that's what becomes the last straw, and pushes a man to conclusions about his "uselessness".The first three to four weeks, doctors for various reasons, to abstain from sex life, and this issue is no longer relevant.
woman refuses to have sex because of general fatigue and depression.Routine chores, all the time you want to sleep, what here sex life!
There are some physiological characteristics - themselves the thrill of sex change (by the way, it can sense and a man), a woman experiences painful discomfort.During pregnancy, the body works differently, and it has to go back to "normal."To some it does take quite a bit of time, and someone this process can take up to six months.And hormonal changes take place - prolactin and oxytocin produced somewhat reduced sexual desire.
There are reasons psychophysiological properties.A woman in a new way my body feels, often after pregnancy and childbirth is subject to certain changes.List the possible means of contraception (if a woman breastfeeds), several narrows - for example, excluded familiar to many oral contraceptives.And at night added to anxiety that the child will require attention.
If it is fatigue, is to bring a spouse to resolve this problem, explaining the motivation.You should be able to at least a couple times a week how to sleep and relax.
Soreness eliminated with lubricants.You can start small - just tactile contact, gentle touch, oral sex.New state - an excellent opportunity to try new positions that will be most comfortable.
It should be borne in mind that the female sex is largely "in the head", so the more it renounce stereotypes and complexes about their own body and others, the easier the process will go.With the right approach after childbirth sex becomes more intense.
Articles Source: psylive.ru
