Assertive behavior: basic principles

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Psychologists distinguish aggressive, passive and assertive behavior .What are their principles and characteristics and which one is better?

aggression and passivity

passive human activities is limited to the scope that do not allow any initiative.This is the perfect performer, who acts for the team and never chooses their own, and it is not usually heard and not seen.Man sticking aggressive demeanor, in contrast, always in sight and in the center of events, that is the scandals.Accusing, insulting and intimidating, he persistently pursue their goals - satisfy their ambitions, or simply causes moral damage to him disagreeable people.

Manipulative behaviors

aggressor may seem very active, but there is one caveat.As a passive man, he would not respond, he only actively accusing others for their problems.Thus, it is an obvious manipulator.Passivity is also fraught with manipulation, because the troubles of one who does not decide anything yourself, blame is always someone else.

Assertive behavior

aggression and passivity - the two apparent opposites, but in fact - the same phenomenon.But people do not always manipulate their own kind.When they behave naturally, does not depend on external ratings and influences are open and accountable for their actions, this assertive behavior.Its name comes from the English verb assert - assert and defend their rights.

Basic Principles

responsibility that assertive man recognizes himself.It acts on their own, but also realizes that he has no right to accuse others in how he reacts to their behavior.

self-respect and respect for others.These two things are directly linked: a man who does not respect himself, will not respect other people.

productive communication.It is determined by three qualities: honesty, openness and sincerity in expressing their opinions, feelings and thoughts on any subject.Openness, however, has reasonable limits: do not hurt, upset or offend the interlocutor.

confidence.It is based on the already mentioned self-esteem, as well as on the knowledge of their own merits, competencies and skills.

desire to listen and understand your opponent.Assertive behavior means that a person is able to listen and try to understand someone else's point of view, but also recognizes its right to exist, even if it differs from his own.

negotiation and compromise.This point follows from the foregoing that although the opinions on some subject may vary, it is necessary to negotiate in order to live or work together was comfortable, and it is necessary to take into account the interests of each of the parties involved.Search

simple answers to complex questions.Manipulators, both passive and aggressive, like all the confusing and imposing shadow on the fence.In contrast, a person acting assertive, not to complicate the situation where it is possible.