Divorce of parents involves major changes in the small world of the child, family.It is a traumatic process by which children experience a range of negative emotions: anger, anxiety, fear, sadness, etc.Age of child significantly affects the perception of divorce and its understanding of the structure of the family.
From birth to 18 months
kids this age feel the tension in the relationship of parents, but to understand the cause of the conflict can not yet.If the dispute between the parents are permanent, the child becomes irritable and nervous, he often fits of bad temper, especially in the presence of strangers.Such children tend to lag behind in development.
How to mitigate the negative consequences: children need stability and proximity to the native people.Try to save the regime, which was before the divorce, especially with regard to food and sleep.Provide child's favorite toys, spend time with him longer than usual, often keep on hand, thereby providing physical comfort.With the help of friends and relatives to be able to relax and be cheerful when it is necessary to communicate with the child.
18 months - 3 years
At this age, the emotional bond with their parents the most powerful, the whole world is focused on the child's father and mother.Divorce kids are experiencing very difficult, it is difficult to accept the fact of separation of parents.Kids often think that Mom and Dad broke up because of them.Children require more attention, often cry and capricious.They may be slowing down the development, there are habits of the base, which is stressful experiences, such as: thumb-sucking.For children there is the fear of loneliness, trouble sleeping, they are afraid to be alone at night.
How to mitigate the negative consequences: If possible, parents should cooperate with each other to ensure the child a stable regime of the day.The child should be given more time and attention (including reading books, etc., in general, do something together, and not just take your child in a sandbox, so he dug in the sand, and you read the magazine), and to ask it to doand relatives and friends who like baby talk.If the child is big enough to discuss with him his feelings.
3 years - 6 years
Preschoolers still do not understand the essence of the concept of divorce, but do not want the parents apart, despite the tensions.They feel that they can not influence the situation, the consequences of which they are not known or controlled.This gives rise to feelings of insecurity, anxiety and fear, fear of loneliness, darkness, and insomnia.Preschoolers can also blame themselves for the divorce of parents.
How to mitigate the negative effects: Ideal when parents disagree without quarrels, scandals and recriminations, thus positively assessing changes taking place in their lives ("just did not work out, part friends").This option divorce less traumatic for the whole child, at this age, he feels the emotions of parents, even if they try to hide.Preschoolers need someone with whom he can discuss their feelings.This can be a grandparent, any person whom the child trusts, and who will look objectively at what is happening and do not configure a preschooler against one of the parents.At this age, children respond well to special books about divorce.The child also needs to know exactly what he did not stop seeing the parent who leaves.To do this, you must make a clear timetable and stick to it.
6-11 years
kids to be afraid to be alone as a result of divorce.They can experience fear, never to see the pope, if left to live with his mother and vice versa.Children may believe that they can restore the relationship between the father and mother, and may be angry with one parent, divide them into "good" and "bad."Students can blame dad or mom being selfish and express their anger in different ways: bad behavior, poor grades, detachment from the outside world, etc.As a result of stress in children often have problems with the stomach, and headache.
How to mitigate the negative effects: It is necessary to restore damaged as a result of divorce, a sense of security and self-esteem.To do this, each of the parents should be high quality and interesting to spend your free time with your child, discuss with him his feelings, persuade, and words and actions, that none of the parents will not leave him, and he is not to blame for the current situation.At the same time, parents should not blame each other for what happened and explain to the child that the divorce was their joint decision.It is important to maintain a clear timetable for the visits, since most use in stressful period, provides a permanent regime, when the child knows when and what he expected.It is useful to develop a clear timetable for visits.
In any case, in this difficult period, a child needs as much as possible to communicate with friends, family and peers, to participate in various sports activities, go to any clubs and societies, and the like, as an active social life allows you to distractionfrom unpleasant thoughts, increases self-esteem and does not withdraw into themselves.
Articles Source: psyworld.org.ru
