family as a fully functional system of active interaction can not deal with crises, conflicts and quarrels.After all, people tend to satisfy the personal needs of their entire lives, but often do not take into account the interests of the partner.
Causes of family conflicts
1. The basis of the type of value arguments are different interests of the partners and parenting patterns.
2. Position a conflict arises in the struggle for a place in the head of the family.
3. Sexual type is the result of an intimate disharmony.For his permission needs help physician.
4. Emotional quarrels take place against the backdrop of unmet need for positive emotions.Accompanied by a chronic lack of affection and understanding from someone from the family members.Such conflicts are pursuing alliances, where people just do not care about each other.
5. Economic-economic painting are conflicts in the family with a difficult financial situation.As a rule, spouses hold different allocation schemes monthly budget.
sharp differences arose due to the above reasons, may occur explicitly or implicitly.In the first case, people exchanged verbal and physical abuse.Hidden same conflict is not perceived by people for some time did not manifest in behavior.
family conflicts, ways of their development
1. There is a worsening of the situation, indicating the destructive dynamics.The result is a divorce.
2. The conflict becomes a permanent form remains intractable for a long time, even many years.
3. A compromise situation.
behavior model couple in their mutual relations
1. Rivalry show personality, prone to confrontation in the relationship.They prefer to resolve the conflict without addressing the needs of aggravated partner.In the development of the situation there is the accumulation of stimulation, turning into personal insults, threats, and in some cases physical abuse.
2. The cooperation means that family conflicts are resolved taking into account the interests of all members of the family.
Resolution acute situations as described by Jan and Catherine Gottlieb
Positive outcome of an argument depends on certain conditions:
- showdown takes place without the presence of children;
- causes of conflict in the family are formulated clearly specifying the sharp corners;
- simultaneously with the transfer of its own negative feelings mentioned the positive attitude to the spouse;
- each side is willing to quietly listen to comments on their behavior;
- designated priorities for each member of the family, found common ground in the needs;
- set leading questions to her husband it was easier to outline the scope of their problems and feelings;
- if necessary, all willing to wait until the emotions subside uncontrolled partner;
- put forward counter-proposals are acceptable to the other side.
family conflicts are solved by the method of Ian and Catherine Gottlieb considering barred:
- not need to apologize before the partner is aware of the fact of remorse;
- impossible to translate dialogue into the mainstream, an abstract of the current dispute, to sabotage the situation, or defiantly silent;
- focus on the shortcomings of the intimate sphere;
- raise issues related to other conflicts, not negotiated;
- harboring a grudge, pretending to own agreement with the opponent;
- to explain the feelings of the interlocutor from his point of view;
- criticize the priorities of another person;
- play suspiciousness and uncertainty.
When radical solution of family conflicts divorce sooner or later inevitable.Keep in mind: not to bring himself to a nervous breakdown during divorce proceedings, you have to be consistent.Unpleasant legal procedure is preceded by an emotional divorce is first manifested in alienation from each other, indifference, loss of trust and love.Then the couple are moving to the level of physical divorce, live a long time apart.Only after living separately, it is recommended to start registration of legal documents confirming the right to form a new family.
