Come talk to you: How not to harm the word?

Community is necessary as air and a prerequisite comfortable life.What about the baby?Psychologists withdrawn toddler dialogue a key role in its formation and development.

In fact, the whole process of training, whether it is a skill to hold the spoon or multiply large numbers, has the assignment kid that came up to him all the previous generations of adults.And he went and spied.And not just spied, but was easy to understand instructions from adults.

We continuously communicate with the child, thereby teaching him to be guided in life, and through this process, an opportunity to practice and develop memory, attention, thought, speech, imagination ... If you compile all of these processes into one, then we can say that a childIt is what we (and only we) have ever told him.Therefore, the communication means for the life of so many, that does not tolerate mistakes.There are a few common speech language and promises that it would be good to avoid in dealing with kids. Error №1 «accusation»

Oh, how often we throw blame the kid because sure - with his little experience and skills no one else can not simply be to blame.Sometimes restless kids become hostages of their own temperament and collect all the "bumps".Position accusations might look like this: "Of course, you're dumped flower, then there is no one better!" Or "What are you yelling so, do you want me to have a headache?".We blame and do not think about the consequences of these words.And if the baby is not really to blame for what we blame?And if it is so impressionable at this point that perceives addressed to him threatening it as a total lack of love and parental indifference?Particularly sensitive children can acquire phobias (and suddenly my mother and the truth will suffer because of me?) And lively guys, no doubt, will not pay any attention to your charges.

Therefore, for the sake of increasing the efficiency of teaching spoken words, it is better to shift attention to the baby something interesting and vivid, or to experiment with the volume of reverse speech.There is a secret method - instead of the expected cry demonstrate whisper.The problems crumbs surprisingly override any other emotion, and self-indulgence will remain in the past. error №2 «Bullying» in conjunction with the logical charges are intimidation.This is a universal, according to parents, the measure, which is sure to turn a child's behavior in the "right" direction.Hence grow these strange phrases about how Baba Yaga carries naughty children as from lying tongue falls off as doctors will prick "boljuchih" shots when eating with dirty hands ... Yeah, you never know us examples throws sophisticated fantasy?The children are "stuck" on these dreadful pugalka and soon realize that the world around us - a hostile entity not promising anything positive.The result - a common childhood phobias, conduct disorders, hypochondria, nervous until psychosomatic disorders ...

To change the temper justice with mercy traumatic enough to work on the formulation, turning it into a positive.It turns out "to be healthy stomach, and you can eat your favorite foods, it is necessary to wash your hands!". Error №3 «blackmail» You can not imagine how often we are blackmailing their children and teach them quietly to a similar mode of behavior ... "There will be soup - do not get sweets," "will behave - stay home!"" This is clearly a naughty child is not mine! ".

Psychologists distinguish blackmail and blackmail, particularly love in one of the most serious defects of the parent.First, the child quickly takes over and he gladly accepted and virtuosity for blackmail parents and peers.Second, speculation on parental love and devalues ​​it inspires confidence in their own worthlessness.At the same time the child tends to literally do everything in order to make sure the next time in the mother's acceptance and care.And this path can lead to lying and other violations of interpersonal interaction.

word, experiencing episodes of intimidation, baby spends time in stress.And it will agree, it is absolutely not necessary!Do you want to remove or consequential blackmail from your educational program?Enter the interesting games, competitions, serve lunch situation, washing, cleaning, as the intricate quest, in short, invoke the aid of imagination and so I got the harmful stereotypes.All out! Error №4 «Comparing» know what else we do without thinking?We devalue the skills and labor of our kids.Alas, it is.We are accustomed to see their mistakes, failures, we get tired quickly and annoying.As a result, it is easier to do a particular job for the child, rather than wait for the results.And the argument of their own behavior give evidence against the child ... but forget - he's trying, he acts as may in the circumstances and under the circumstances (which applies to his health and mood, and the external environment and the weather ...)!"Dyke, the best I ever do you dig!", "Do not touch, and then broke down, and I fix!", "You five, and you are lazy, do not want to have himself and his two very kid and eats better than you! "- familiar?When a child hears it, he literally drops his hands - but why bother if no one needs?As a result of the parent item, the baby falls self-esteem and motivation to develop.He withdraws into himself and begins to feel odd, outcast.To avoid this, do not forget to praise the kid for his success, proud of it!Houses can be impromptu exhibition of drawings or conduct joint magazine "good deeds and achievements," where would you painted each other's advantages and achievements rejoiced.If you want to specify a kid on his mistakes, do it not in the form of the indictment, did not criticize the child's personality and his bad deed to the instructions right decision.Instead, "you are bad!" - You can always say: "You are not well made.It is better if you are doing so ... and everything will be fine!Agreed? ".Let's not forget our children - independent, purposeful, personal development!They are entitled to their view of the situation, and they have a right to make mistakes.After all, the only way at the moment of awareness of his own wrong going training and development.This is a very big job, and it is worthy of praise and support, not censure.We will be the wiser!

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