most captious critic is always within us.He makes us doubt their abilities and tells us the words of authoritative people who once criticized us, and we could not answer them.
Strange idea which mastered at an early age is not meaningful, but after a while begins to be perceived as its own, called introjects.It therefore communicates our inner critic.To your attention - nine ways to soothe.
1. Determine the border.
To put criticism within certain limits, to deal with it in the same way as other people.For example, the regulations limit his remarks to 5 minutes, without offense, and only on the merits.Then all the statements to be written in a notebook and make list all successes.
2. Reduce the authority.
Let's imagine that there are two internal criticism: an objective and authoritative.The first allows you to grow and develop.The second sets the bar high and does not allow mistakes.He is a perfectionist and a maximalist.To calm him down, it is necessary to negotiate.For example, to assess the scale of the failure of the 10-point scale, and then ask constructive questions: what could have been done better?What lessons can be drawn from this situation?
3. Give thanks.
Picky critic is a consequence of the high expectations bars.If a person can not meet its internal quality standards, then he lowered his hands, and he does not want anything to do.On the other hand, our critic protects us from possible disappointment.So thank him for this care.
4. Look for alternatives.
If inner critic broke in earnest, it is possible to stop a bunch of alternative views.For example, positive comments relevant people.
5. Be objective.
The outcome of the situation affects not only our knowledge and skills, but the situation itself: the time, the actions of other people, material factors.The inner critic does not account for the impact of these external factors.Therefore, we must be able to soberly assess the situation and find a middle ground.
6. Give rebuff.
Criticism - a kind of aggression.Therefore, it is necessary periodically to someone or something to throw out without hurting others while.For example, do the dance of his anger by African music.
7. Strengthening adults.
critic is one of our sub-personalities.On the basis of the position of a parent formed inner child.That it does not hinder the development of the Adult, get a notebook and draw to his every achievement.After some time you will find an impressive list of victories, which somehow remained unnoticed until you distracted critic.
8. Deprive vote.
Sometimes you have to completely "turn off" the internal criticism.To do this in psychology used brainstorming techniques.Having agreed not to comment on what is happening, the participants write down all my thoughts, even the most fantastic.Then analyze them for relevance, interesting, feasibility and other factors.
9. Change the view.
If Critic prevents self-development, use it as an ally.To do this, start and end criticism of positive words and negative statements insert in the middle.
Finally, ask him to name the qualities and skills that are necessary for solving such problems.Then make a plan for their development.Do not let the inner critic to tell you what to do.You - the owner of his own life.
Articles Source: shkolazhizni.ru
