At a certain age a person begins to learn to govern themselves, to find patterns: potential-implementation-satisfaction.Comes the realization that achieving anything on their own, it is self-fulfilling, its potential is out and brings satisfaction.And then the tricks and gimmicks are eliminated as unnecessary.Or the person does not want to work on themselves, therefore, does not find a building of its own, all suffereth himself and achieves goals in life through someone else, someone else's work, through manipulation.
Nobody wants to be a victim of the manipulator.But often the victim does not even realize that it is manipulated.We expand as their devices!
Firstly, parents also manipulate children.
Shame and fear
Parents often unknowingly vaccinated child fears: "You will not obey, I will give you my uncle / leave you here," or the orientation of public opinion, like a compass to the North Pole in an attempt to get him to stop crying in a public place"Hush, do not cry and they will say, so much crying!" "Well, who does?".
minute Despite the possible effectiveness of the method, it has many side effects.For the sake of your child, it is better for him not to resort.
Blackmail love or friendship
Manipulator require proof of love (friendship), expressed in satisfaction of his desires.Failure is equal to betrayal of his feelings.As a rule, it is inherent sociopaths.They are not the end result is so important as the pleasure of power over you.The more you sacrifice their own interests for the sake of their whims, so they'd better.They will not stop, and you will experience until the situation comes to an absurdity.
you such a relationship will not bring any benefit or happiness.It is not necessary to save them, to spare no after the time spent.
manipulation with promises
manipulation promises of the most common in the relationship: power, people, superior-subordinate, man-woman, a married man, an unmarried woman (or vice versa).Manipulator promises you a good life, mountains of gold, marriage, a departure from the current half, as soon as both at once.
actually promises - receive only to leave everything as it is.So it is convenient to live, and everything will continue as long as you believe the promises.
manipulation based on guilt
How joked Galkin, ask her husband the morning to buy bread: it is, of course, forget to do this, but in the evening he will have a sense of guilt, and then it will be easier to unleash the makeup.
purpose of the manipulator - to impose your guilt.To do this, use different techniques - artificial anger, resentment, silence, bad mood, hurt.In short, deliberate violation of the normal atmosphere.Pointing you will know that what he feels, he feels because of you or because of you.
Alien resentment, even for you to unexpected and incomprehensible, willy-nilly imposes a burden - a sense of guilt, which wants to get rid of.Do not hesitate and walking the path of least resistance, you succumb manipulator trying to restore normal atmosphere.For this you select the correct action, while "poor victim" does not remain satisfied, "What, not enough sleep, coffee do?", "Write a letter to the authorities instead of you?" "Finish the job for you?".You would think that this change will help everyone stay in the win: and that person will be better, and you get rid of the burden, without even realizing that the situation was created artificially.Can you even think that you're doing it for the sake of friendship, but friendship with such a man can not be.He can only parasitize on you.
But when using the manipulator grievances seeking attention or lazy possible, with the help of anger he figures out whether you have to subordinate themselves.If you silently endure raising voice at him, he would be happy to do so in the future.So can you!
matter how peaceful you are, do not let others treat yourself disrespectful!At the first attempt of aggression by the manipulator would be appropriate to try to avoid a direct conflict, give him the opportunity to withdraw, for example, to increase the voice and the aggression in your address, you can ask in surprise, deadpan voice: "What?It's you or me on the phone / Skype? ".If you have an opportunity, pointing rather to retreat.By your tone, he realized that you are not going to silently swallow his behavior, and the ability to retreat - salutary.And no, - such an attitude is necessary to prevent as much as possible tougher, to discourage future.Even if people are around, do not be afraid of his answer to put themselves in an uncomfortable position, attracting the attention of the team.Uncomfortable to be the manipulator, not you.In fact, the respect of the team you only increase, because people respect someone who respects himself.
Manipulation churning confused: stream of questions;accentuation;take someone by surprise;false outputs;starting point.
especially good at quick, energetic people.If you ever conducted a sociological survey, you are faced with the rapid flow of questions.The interviewer begins with the mid-tempo and gradually accelerated to you answered questions, no time to think.So the reception you can "knock out" information relating to income, in short, that a person is not willing to provide.
shift of emphasis: your attention is focused on profitable for the manipulator of the information concealing unfavorable, unstressed part.In general, the folded side rotten apple.
of emphasis: similar technique, but in this case, your opinion is formed with the help of someone else's reaction.For this, telling you an anecdote, people add: "Oh, I laughed ..." A clear example can be any TV shows: after pieces of information the camera shows the reaction of the audience (the majority) or celebrities (of authority), giving you an example of howWe need to respond.Here it is necessary to laugh, but here agree ...
«You have one option: to make something."Pointing it offers a convenient solution to the problem, giving as the only possible way out.Do not take anything for granted, you ponder their own decisions.
«You look so good, that I do not even know!".This ironic statement that at first perceived as a compliment, a moment catches you by surprise.Buy time and create discomfort manipulator spends in their favor.
Take a winning position manipulator can, asking him a convenient starting point, waiting for your answer, you will start with it.For example, the issue of building in the form of accusations that you start the answer with excuses.As you know, to warrant the default looks guilty.
must remember that you do not have to play the city (starting on the letter, which he had finished).You can choose any starting point, convenient to you.
Playing vanity
Perhaps vanity - the most fertile soil for manipulation Craftsmen can win an argument, to promote the idea, just in time to praising opponents and thereby forcing him to shut up, stop the discussion: "What a good question you asked, rightIt is seen, a clever man. "Content with praise, and the answer, however, is not necessary.The main thing is ego stroked.
For more than a century it plays advertisers: "You deserve the best of cosmetics!" Chiefs "Even though it's not your job, but nobody does it better than you!" Husband: "You're so good cook, and go make readywhile I sit at the computer, "his wife:" You have golden hands, to repair the crane "or vice versa," But the neighbor, no faucet does not leak, maybe ask him? "and so on. d.
techniques and formsmanipulation of a lot, and there are all new.However, they have in common: all manipulations are built on the weaknesses and disorientation in life (there is no clear system of coordinates).Well, who does not happen.Yes, and it is impossible for all the world to have its opinion ready.But you can not be lazy to check and analyze the information.
not hurt constantly bear in mind the motives of others, remember that everyone (including you), doing everything for yourself, even if you are convinced that it is necessary for you.If convinced, then he needs.Knowledge of human motivation will help you to understand and get rid of unpleasant surprises.
To avoid becoming a victim of the manipulator, you need to listen to yourself when you are trying to manage, you feel discomfort, disharmony with violence.Do not ignore this feeling, and find out its source and correct the situation.
And most importantly, getting rid of weaknesses, you are depriving manipulators of their weapons!
Articles Source: hint4.me
